How do you arrange your money? Couples

[Guest]

We pool our money together, pay for all the bills, groceries etc and then whatever is left is split back into our individual accounts so that we can buy surprises/presents/save for holidays etc. Xx

[Wazza68]

Originally Posted by BevS97

We have one communal pot. It is split into two accounts. One pays direct debits and the other is for general spending but we have no concept of my money and your money. At times I have earned more, currently DH earns more. It is irrelevant as we are a family so what we have we have as a family.

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Pretty much the same. It’s what we earn as a family, and regardless of who earns the most they’re only able to do that with the support of the other

[catherinesian]

Originally Posted by Talland 2016

Stepping away from the main thread for a moment
A joint account is great for bills mortgages etc and dealing with banks etc.
Sadly my friends partner has suddenly died ( probably heart attack but awaiting post mortem), they have an 12 year old daughter
He died without a will and she is in the situation of his sister being legal next of kin , so legally his estate will go to her. SIL has been told she is responsible in having to deal with bank managers and all of the legal bits, including coroner. He would pay all of the bills and she would transfer funds into his account by DD each month to help pay them.
House and mortgage is in joint names so she may have to buy sister in law out or have her as joint owner
She is waiting to find out if her partner as named her as beneficiary for work pension and death in service benefits .
Luckily she has a good relationship with his sister who is being supportive but it’s a real mess. She has also being supported by his work line manager and union.
I guess the reality is, whatever bank set up works for you, please make sure you can access it if the unexpected happens
And the main point
Make a Will

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And a very good point. We don't have any children and aren't married but have been together 11 years (got together quite young). The mortgage on the house will be paid off and the house transferred in full to the survivor if one of us dies. Any death in service payments are split equally between family and survivor. Mine is 9 x my salary so I am worth quite a bit 6 ft under So we will be OK if that was to happen but it's a really important point to make. When we get married and have children we will do a proper will.

Originally Posted by MissB87

Only got married early this year but our finances are still the same.

We have a joint account where all house/bills/food pennies come out of and we % pay verses our salaries. He is higher earner he pays slightly more in and we then both have own accounts.

Works well for us atm whilst no small person in the mix as I have a horse and solely pay for that. I like having it that way for presents etc 😄 maybe in time to come we will have more in terms of most going into main account and then X amount as spends for both of us

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Originally Posted by skalexander

My husband and I have always had our own accounts, a joint account for the bills and we take turns buying shopping.

I have been the higher earner for nearly 4 years. First the disparity was small, whereas now it’s pretty big.

We talked about it and he was adamant he wanted us to continue going 50/50 on the bills, but said it might be I would end up paying more for things like home improvements, holidays etc., so that is what we have done.

That said, we are hoping to sell our house and buy another one later this year, and I envisage we will move away from 50/50 as the mortgage will be quite a bit bigger. He likes to be equal and pay his way, even though we’ve been together 13 years but, as I often say to him, I work for both of us and I could not do what I do without him supporting me.

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Originally Posted by raven45678

Unlike the majority, we are paid into our own seperate accounts, from which we then transfer the same amount each into a joint 'house' account. All the bills and shopping come out of this and then the rest of our wages is saved or spent as each of us sees fit from our own accounts. I have no say what he spends his money on and vice versa, which is great as we have different hobbies and priorities, but we do discuss what is spent out of the house account. We both came in to this relationship (17 years ago... where does the time go?) from places of independence and neither of us wants to lose this so this works for us.

I now earn quite a bit more than him, although this has been different in the past, but he is keen to pay his way and this is a matter of pride, which is understandable. Hence I pay for expensive things like holidays but he will contribute from his own money to spends. My increased wages has been a bit of an issue as he has a more of a traditional view of men as 'breadwinners', but he is happy to go on the holidays (when we can)!

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Thanks all. You've all got similar circumstances to me, and you've concreted my decision to just keep the extra saved up for treats on holiday or other bits. I have suggested I put more into the accounts each month but he was really keen to keep it 50% which I completely understand. So I will just pay for the extra little luxuries as and when we can. I would (and have) given him money towards purchases he wanted to make so I am not precious about 'my money' but I do like to have a little there. Means when I bring home a new rescue bunny I don't get moaned at as much as at least I'll be footing the bill Lots of you have joint accounts but like many others on this thread I have to have 'my money' and the thought of not having that scares me as I would worry he would be scrutinizing his spend and vice versa (he wouldn't mine, I might do his ). I guess it really does prove that things work differently for different people. Even when we have kids I doubt it will change all the childcare bits will come out of the joint account and if I want to splurge on something ridiculous then I will do .

The last point about breadwinners is an interesting one. My mum cites that as the main reason my parents separated, she was the main earner and my dad resented her for it (apparently). So at every opportunity she likes to bring it up and warn me that my partner will get bitter etc and to be careful. Talk about tarring all men with the same brush

[Princesa]

Originally Posted by Talland 2016

Stepping away from the main thread for a moment
A joint account is great for bills mortgages etc and dealing with banks etc.
Sadly my friends partner has suddenly died ( probably heart attack but awaiting post mortem), they have an 12 year old daughter
He died without a will and she is in the situation of his sister being legal next of kin , so legally his estate will go to her. SIL has been told she is responsible in having to deal with bank managers and all of the legal bits, including coroner. He would pay all of the bills and she would transfer funds into his account by DD each month to help pay them.
House and mortgage is in joint names so she may have to buy sister in law out or have her as joint owner
She is waiting to find out if her partner as named her as beneficiary for work pension and death in service benefits .
Luckily she has a good relationship with his sister who is being supportive but it’s a real mess. She has also being supported by his work line manager and union.
I guess the reality is, whatever bank set up works for you, please make sure you can access it if the unexpected happens
And the main point
Make a Will

See more...

Why wouldn’t his daughter be his beneficiary/next of kin?

[Morganza]

Separate finances. I earn twice as much as DH, and we both contribute to household expenses. I own the house outright and it's willed to my daughters but he has life rent. He owns a separate property which is currently rented out.

This is my second marriage and I already had two children. He had never married and had no children. It didn't seem fair that he should be covering the cost of my children.

Two reasons I keep things separate:
After my first marriage I was left with no income, a lot of debt, a house in negative equity and 2 children under three. I decided then I would always have control of my own income.

Second - I know too many families where the children of any previous marriage lose out on any inheritance. I want it to be quite clear that my estate goes to them. (Well what's left after I spend it all!)

It might be seen as the ideal for joint everything, but in practical terms it can be very unwise.

[Twin mummy]

Originally Posted by Morganza

Separate finances. I earn twice as much as DH, and we both contribute to household expenses. I own the house outright and it's willed to my daughters but he has life rent. He owns a separate property which is currently rented out.

This is my second marriage and I already had two children. He had never married and had no children. It didn't seem fair that he should be covering the cost of my children.

Two reasons I keep things separate:
After my first marriage I was left with no income, a lot of debt, a house in negative equity and 2 children under three. I decided then I would always have control of my own income.

Second - I know too many families where the children of any previous marriage lose out on any inheritance. I want it to be quite clear that my estate goes to them. (Well what's left after I spend it all!)

It might be seen as the ideal for joint everything, but in practical terms it can be very unwise.

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I think it really depends on individual circumstances and can totally see why people would keep their finances separate, especially in the situation you describe.

On the flip side of that though is that in certain circumstances it's not always unwise to have joint finances. As long it works for the couple and there are no abuse issues (such as coercive control) surely it's what works for you?

[LadyFromage]

DH and I have a spreadsheet.

We put all incomings and outgoings and worked out who would pay for what so that we both have roughly the same amount of disposable money left after everything is paid for.

I work part time and he works full time in a well paid job.

Luckily, we never argue about money. We've both been bought up without it and we are now doing better than both our parents ever did but we've worked hard to get here. If we dont have money we live cheaply, if we do we save and spend accordingly.

[skalexander]

Originally Posted by Princesa

Why wouldn’t his daughter be his beneficiary/next of kin?

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I’m wondering that myself. The sister might be the Trustee, looking after everything until the daughter attains majority, but it wouldn’t belong to the sister. I don’t want to assume where the poor man lived, but in the absence of a spouse then a child would surely be the beneficiary under intestacy. Also, with a jointly owned house it depends on the legalities of how it was held - a joint tenancy would pass by survivorship to the other owner(s) but a tenancy in common would not.

[offtoseemickey]

We both get paid into the joint account, where all bills, monthly expenses and savings are taken from. If we do something together, I.e. night out with another couple,holidays, or we have a household expense to pay for this comes from the joint account.

Then we both have the same amount of money transferred to each of our sole accounts for general spending, I.e. dinner / drinks with friends By ourselves, clothes, etc. Oh and gifts to each other.

There have been times we’ve ran out of our ‘spending money’ and we’ve just told the other to take some from the joint account.

I like having my ‘own’ money, I can spend it on what I want without feeling guilty or that I was spending more. I’m more of a little and often spender, where my parter will save his and have big spend less frequently.