Why do people think they know how it feels

[Guest]

Sorry just wanted to get a point across after reading another thread.

Why oh why do people really think they know how it is for people with a disability or parents of a child with a disability :angry:. I for one knows how it feels to have my beautiful smiley daughter with severe complex needs. Do I know how she feels well no.

Yes we are to start going to be looking for an answer to why you are like it or why our child is like it, that is human nature. In many ways we are mourning. Just because somebody knows someone or works with disabilities does not make you know for one minute what it is like.

Rant over sorry

[ally1966]

Sorry if someone has said something insensitive which has upset you. I honestly think that this is half the problem with most of the threads which turn into arguments (not just on the subject of additional needs) - no 2 people share exactly the same experiences or opinions, therfore no-one REALLY knows how anyone else feels about anything!

Hope you feel better for getting it off your chest xx

[mummypig]

People are probably trying to give you kind words and support, there is no need to have a chip on your shoulder about it. Nobody knows how any individual feels, it is just something people say to try to relate and empathise with you. I don't know how you or your daughter feels but I can empathise, as I have a chronic illness myself and have been disabled since I was 24.
Rant over!

[Guest]

totally agree.
unless youre in the same situation, you have no idea.
you can only to imagine and it still wont be enough.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by mummypig

People are probably trying to give you kind words and support, there is no need to have a chip on your shoulder about it. Nobody knows how any individual feels, it is just something people say to try to relate and empathise with you. I don't know how you or your daughter feels but I can empathise, as I have a chronic illness myself and have been disabled since I was 24.
Rant over!

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I am sorry but I do not have a chip on my shoulder, which I find offensive. Just fed up with people thinking they know how us parents feel when really they do not, like I do not know how you feel. Was not aimed at me in particular. People never know how guilty us parents feel, could we have done this to change things, should we have done that. The list goes on. Just because someone works with someone with a disability will never let them know how a parent feels. The saying walk a mile in my shoes, which I hope no parent has to.

[Guest]

Different situation - same result - I have a mobility problem & even some good friends know better than I do how I could cope better! Must be more maddening when it's about your child though.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by DUMTY

Different situation - same result - I have a mobility problem & even some good friends know better than I do how I could cope better! Must be more maddening when it's about your child though.

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I am 100% sure just as maddening for you Hun

[MissVincent]

I think when people feel empathy for someone they confuse it for knowing how that person feels.

I know lots of people with various issues and have friends with children with needs and I feel lots of empathy but I know I will never know how it feels to be that person/ their parents etc

Hope that having a little vent will make you feel better and it wont ruin your day

Lisa

[LaurenYorkshir]

I know what you mean .I have stopped reading/posting in the chat threads as feel alot of people think that just because there is a screen in front of them ,they have the right to judge and make very personal and often offensive/Condescending comments. No one can ever know how a person feels and what they are going through. I try to be supportive to other members if I can and if they need it and that is all .

[Guest]

People often think they know things and it's usually well intentioned not intended to offend. They just want to be sympathetic but don't realise their comments can sometimes be hurtful too. I know that all our kids with additional needs are very different and so are our families so even though we walk a similar path through life we can never know the whole story. I hope you are not too upset x x