Let's Take Our Nephew This Time! - Aug 2016 - 03 IHOP, Universal & Jakes

[waiting4disney]

Another great report.
Though I would be livid about the 2 meals 😲.

[Mel49]

Another great day for you, your DH and Harry but it's only day 3 and I would have blown a gasket at Alice by now so you and your DH must have the patience of saints or had an inkling deep down as to how things might go.
Reading about the Mummy RIde brings back memories for me as my DH persuaded me and my DD to go on 3 years ago when she was just 7 and knowing I hate backwards, drops and going in the dark and I think we were both traumitised by it !

[Loopylooloo]

Lovely photo of your hubby and Harry!

I love Larry too! Cute.

[Excited6910]

As much as I know how frustrated you must be I'm also feeling a bit sorry for Alice, her personal issues (insecurities, medical problems) being posted about on a public forum for everyone to see and judge.

I'm really glad Harry was getting into the spirit of the rides, my 9 year old (who has been to plenty uk theme parks, fairgrounds etc) was really wary of the rides in orlando. We had the same concept with him as with you and Harry. Try it once, if you don't like it then you don't have to do it again. There were a few rides we didn't attempt as our other 2 were too small anyway.

[MissFortune]

Originally Posted by Excited6910

As much as I know how frustrated you must be I'm also feeling a bit sorry for Alice, her personal issues (insecurities, medical problems) being posted about on a public forum for everyone to see and judge.

See more...

I really don't feel that anybody here would judge her insecurities and certainly not medical issues. Those things can't be helped and I'm sure most would sympathise but it shouldn't excuse you from being a bit rude (or should we say ungracious) to people who have given you such a magical gift.

[Excited6910]

Originally Posted by MissFortune

I really don't feel that anybody here would judge her insecurities and certainly not medical issues. Those things can't be helped and I'm sure most would sympathise but it shouldn't excuse you from being a bit rude (or should we say ungracious) to people who have given you such a magical gift.

See more...

I'm not excusing her behaviour at all, I would have pulled her up on it the first day.

I just feel sorry for her that this is a public forum, her friends could be on here, her neighbours etc theres no denying it's her with her picture up there. I'm quite a sensitive person myself so maybe it's that

[Aine]

I agree, imagine how Alice would feel reading this. Telling a public forum she has low self esteem etc. While your intentions were good and you were beyond generous the fall out from this could be huge and even cost you your relationship with your nephew.

If I were Alice I'd be fuming at being discussed like this. Someone who recognises her is bound to tip her off. Some of the comments are beyond personal.

[TheDisneyCouple]

It's good that you are very fair-minded when you read these reports. I admit that it's very difficult to write reports like these, where so much frustration stems from our opinion of one person's actions, without coming across as biased, insensitive and judgemental. I also understand that privacy is an issue with things like this.

I think it's fair that I address some of your concerns. I promise this is not a rant aimed at you, I think your concerns are valid and I know there will certainly be other Dibbers thinking the same:

Privacy: I cannot do anything about the pictures except to remove those that she would dislike. This I have already done. All of the names in this report have been changed. Alice herself does not and has no desire to read the report. She has herself acknowledged that the report will be less than flattering as she assessed her own behaviour over the holiday. Her and her other acquaintances are as far away from reading a Disney forum as you can imagine. Finally I do my best to clearly seperate the actual facts from my own opinions and feelings at the time although I write both.

Alice worries about self image like many other women. I felt that it was important to point this out in order to be fair to her. To ignore it would be to present her as a thoughtless vanity queen. It's easy to complain about how long it takes for someone to get ready without knowing why. I assure you I included this brief bit of information with the best intentions.

I don't pretend to claim that I have always presented her in the most positive light. However I will not pretend that these bad things didn't happen or that I didn't feel anything about them. They make up a substantial part of this holiday to begin with.

However I definitely feel that I have respected her privacy with regards to her medical issues. Especially since her condition has not affected the holiday yet and I have not described or identified it at all. She is ill during the holiday at some point and there were measures taken to support her. It's necessary to mention these things where they occur or impact on events otherwise there would be confusion. I'm sorry you feel that I have done this indelicately but I really think I have tried my best in this case.

Finally I disagree that anyone has judged her for these things. Certainly not the Dibbers. I assure you that despite everything that happened during this holiday both me and my husband cared for her very dearly when she was ill.

We all make mistakes so please let me know if I overstep the mark somewhere. I am happy to remove any details that people find inappropriate. It is not my intention to distress anyone with this report but to help those planning a holiday with families.

----------------

You're right about the ride thing. I think in the future Harry will really appreciate that we allowed him to pick things himself and that we respected his limits.

There were things Harry was too short for and I think he was quite relieved! He did turn out to be a bit of a roller coaster junkie in the end though and I know his Uncle Damian was really proud to have encouraged and shared in his first ride experiences .

Originally Posted by Excited6910

As much as I know how frustrated you must be I'm also feeling a bit sorry for Alice, her personal issues (insecurities, medical problems) being posted about on a public forum for everyone to see and judge.

I'm really glad Harry was getting into the spirit of the rides, my 9 year old (who has been to plenty uk theme parks, fairgrounds etc) was really wary of the rides in orlando. We had the same concept with him as with you and Harry. Try it once, if you don't like it then you don't have to do it again. There were a few rides we didn't attempt as our other 2 were too small anyway.

See more...

Originally Posted by MissFortune

I really don't feel that anybody here would judge her insecurities and certainly not medical issues. Those things can't be helped and I'm sure most would sympathise but it shouldn't excuse you from being a bit rude (or should we say ungracious) to people who have given you such a magical gift.

See more...

Originally Posted by MissFortune

I really don't feel that anybody here would judge her insecurities and certainly not medical issues. Those things can't be helped and I'm sure most would sympathise but it shouldn't excuse you from being a bit rude (or should we say ungracious) to people who have given you such a magical gift.

See more...

Originally Posted by Excited6910

I'm not excusing her behaviour at all, I would have pulled her up on it the first day.

I just feel sorry for her that this is a public forum, her friends could be on here, her neighbours etc theres no denying it's her with her picture up there. I'm quite a sensitive person myself so maybe it's that

See more...

[daytonababe]

Personally I don't feel you should remove anything. Its a warts & all true account of your holiday... to not write it all down as you want wouldn't be fair on you.

And tbh I've seen far worst things posted on here over the years when people have been easily identifiable. I really wouldn't worry.

But then I'm not of the sensitive kind and if I didn't like something I just wouldn't read it.

I've read all the days so far and she looks happy enough in the photo's :-)

[ally1966]

Originally Posted by TheDisneyCouple

It's good that you are very fair-minded when you read these reports. I admit that it's very difficult to write reports like these, where so much frustration stems from our opinion of one person's actions, without coming across as biased, insensitive and judgemental. I also understand that privacy is an issue with things like this.

I think it's fair that I address some of your concerns. I promise this is not a rant aimed at you, I think your concerns are valid and I know there will certainly be other Dibbers thinking the same:

Privacy: I cannot do anything about the pictures except to remove those that she would dislike. This I have already done. All of the names in this report have been changed. Alice herself does not and has no desire to read the report. She has herself acknowledged that the report will be less than flattering as she assessed her own behaviour over the holiday. Her and her other acquaintances are as far away from reading a Disney forum as you can imagine. Finally I do my best to clearly seperate the actual facts from my own opinions and feelings at the time although I write both.

Alice worries about self image like many other women. I felt that it was important to point this out in order to be fair to her. To ignore it would be to present her as a thoughtless vanity queen. It's easy to complain about how long it takes for someone to get ready without knowing why. I assure you I included this brief bit of information with the best intentions.

I don't pretend to claim that I have always presented her in the most positive light. However I will not pretend that these bad things didn't happen or that I didn't feel anything about them. They make up a substantial part of this holiday to begin with.

However I definitely feel that I have respected her privacy with regards to her medical issues. Especially since her condition has not affected the holiday yet and I have not described or identified it at all. She is ill during the holiday at some point and there were measures taken to support her. It's necessary to mention these things where they occur or impact on events otherwise there would be confusion. I'm sorry you feel that I have done this indelicately but I really think I have tried my best in this case.

Finally I disagree that anyone has judged her for these things. Certainly not the Dibbers. I assure you that despite everything that happened during this holiday both me and my husband cared for her very dearly when she was ill.

We all make mistakes so please let me know if I overstep the mark somewhere. I am happy to remove any details that people find inappropriate. It is not my intention to distress anyone with this report but to help those planning a holiday with families.

----------------

You're right about the ride thing. I think in the future Harry will really appreciate that we allowed him to pick things himself and that we respected his limits.

There were things Harry was too short for and I think he was quite relieved! He did turn out to be a bit of a roller coaster junkie in the end though and I know his Uncle Damian was really proud to have encouraged and shared in his first ride experiences .

See more...

So would you be completely happy for Alice to come on here and read everything that you have written about her? I know that you say that this is unlikely to happen but it could. I have twice been surprised to find out that people who I had contact with in the "real world" also knew me from the Dibb, despite being totally unaware that I knew any Dibbers! On one occasion this came to light because someone recognised my son from photos in a trip report. Although you have changed Alice's name, to anyone who does know her she would be instantly recognisable from your pictures. I think this is what people are referring to when they mention invasion of privacy.

It was an incredibly generous gesture to take Alice and Harry on your amazing holiday and I really do feel your frustrations about the way that she is behaving and taking advantage. However you obviously value your relationship with her and Harry highly so it would be a terrible shame if all this backfires and you end up jeopardising your relationship with them.

I'm sure that you feel that you are writing an unbiased account of the facts BUT reading this from Alice's perspective she might feel that she is being held up for ridicule by a group of strangers.