Children.. scared of rides!?

[Gill H]

When we went to DLP with our friends, we made sure the kids watched videos and
knew what to expect as their 2nd son has ASD. However, we made the mistake of getting him on Peter Pan's Flight first. It wasn't the ride itself which unsettled him, but the fact he couldn't see it all from the outside. Oh, and the dark.

It took quite a while before he would try anything else but once he had done Carousel and Dumbo (where he could see the whole ride) he was happier, and did IASW, Buzz and a few others. DH bribed him with ice cream to get him on POTC and he did enjoy it. The next day he wanted to go on it with me. He said he was a bit afraid of the dark but still wanted to do it. I said I was a bit afraid of the drops (DLP version has 3 minor drops) so we could help each other be brave! It worked.

[OnOurWay]

We are going in August for the first time and for a while I was sorry that I didn'the do a big reveal, but since then I am happy I didn't. The kids have known since we first decided at the end of 2015 we would be going. Over the last year we have often talked about the different rides and DS who is quite nervous of doing new things has surprised me a number of times with the rides he really can't wait to do, like EE and TT. He doesn't normally like the dark, but has told me dark rides are fine as long as I or another family member is sitting next to him. This is the only reason he has refused to do Space Mountain (you sit one behind the other).

PS Even though we didn't do a big reveal, at Christmas, Santa delivered a big box full of Disney/Universal things, including autograph books, etc. We also started a countdown, which we only update weekly at the moment, with weeks and days and he loves seeing the days drop in big chunks 😉

[Nimbus]

Originally Posted by Gill H

DH bribed him with ice cream to get him on POTC and he did enjoy it.

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Somewhat off topic, but we once bribed DD with a teddy bear to get her to go on the Simpsons ride again. She was scared of the killer panda with the chainsaw but DW and I wanted to go on again.

I'm not sure I'm the best one for giving out parenting advice.

[Forkbeard]

Originally Posted by jonsgirl80

I think there a world of difference between gently persuading a child who you know will love it once they get on to pressurising a child who is obviously scared and making them feel like they are some kind of huge disappointment to you.

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Adding words like "huge" and "obviously scared" just gives away your position. Projecting your fear isn't really dealing with the reality. Adversity helps children. Our bodies have evolved that way. How do we build a better immune system? The act of building it makes us physically ill, but we become stronger. Yeah I know... helicopter parents and their sterilising everything

The modern world likes trigger warnings, safe spaces and victim culture. It won't just end in tears... it embraces tears.

I have never "dragged" an "hysterical" child on a ride. I've worked with children (autistic) that appear to behave a certain way around their parents. It's all part of the game, and parents are seldom equipped to play it well.

Everything is a test, not for the child, only the parents... pass or fail.

Once you get a letter from a parent thanking you for making a "huge" difference, you become a little bit more impervious to negativity

Originally Posted by jonsgirl80

On a side note my DS is a coaster nut so he's definitely not learned any fear from me.

As a child I resented and lost a lot of trust in family members who made me feel bad and told me it would be ok - because for me, it
wasnt!

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I'm glad he likes them, but it doesn't really matter, only that he's happy. What does matter though is that he has a choice to be happy with, and isn't a slave to fear for the rest of his life.

Originally Posted by jonsgirl80

Op you will know best how your own child will respond but if he's genuinely scared pressuring him may get him on the ride in the short term but in the longer term will not help and could be counterproductive.

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He IS genuinely scared. That's the point.

How can trying out a 90 second flight on Dumbo be counterproductive?

Originally Posted by Nimbus

I would disagree with this statement. For example, there are lots of people here on the DIBB that say that they can't do simulators due to motion sickness...

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Bending the argument a bit there bringing in motion sickness in adults into a debate about children's well founded fear of rides and darkness

If you're trying to convince me to lay off trying to help people overcome a thing most of us experience and can overcome with a mild dose of pressure... you're barking up the wrong tree. You know, the kind of pressure the world throws at us all the time and we must build a resilience in order to best survive it.

For the record going backwards on EE makes me feel a bit unwell as well. All part of getting old The good news is I can choose to do it or not because my parents helped me to overcome fear.

Originally Posted by Nimbus

In many ways, children are no different to adults.

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If you're trying to win an argument they might be

Originally Posted by Nimbus

Gently persuasing a child to go onto a ride is one thing. Dragging a child kicking and screaming onto a ride is another. The latter is probably only going to increase the child's fear, not allay it.

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There you go, being disingenuous by using "gently" and "dragging" just like the other poster did

I'm surprised you didn't claim I forced them to leap off a cliff at gun point

Originally Posted by Nimbus

It's also worth remembering that not everyone likes theme park rides (just like not everyone likes Disney. Or not everyone likes funnel cake. Crazy, I know! ). Some people don't get the same thrill or excitement from these rides like we do. Some kids - and some adults - may just not enjoy rides. And that's ok.

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Firstly there is no way of knowing beforehand if someone doesn't "like" something, and secondly people change, especially children. They grow to like things. That's how they develop. If you wrap them in a blanket every time they say they don't like something you'll be in for a rough ride and so will they.

With food they believe children take many samplings (8? ) before they can begin to like something. Which explains why some children eat very little and are uber fussy because parents wrongly assume they don't like stuff the moment they spit it out.

Kids grow through adversity.

I can't believe I'm debating that flying around on a Disney elephant for a minute and a half constitutes adversity. Then again it goes a long way to explaining safe spaces in Universities these days

Originally Posted by Daisychick

I have a confession.

We were "that family" once in DW. The ones who have a screaming crying child in the queue.

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I have a headmaster friend who suffered a rather testy and bratish daughter when she was a tot. He was awesome at allowing her to blow steam in public, much to the shame and suffering of everyone around. He said it was that or create an absolute monster

I admire parents who do it, I really do. You were being tested... and you passed the test.

[Andybear]

Originally Posted by Forkbeard

Absolutely okay.

I'm just pushing for a win for team Strong

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To me being strong is not allowing someone to push you into something you don't want to do but rather it's doing what you feel is right for you despite pressure being put on you. When I was younger I did stuff for the sake of peace, just to shut someone up, and mentally it did me a lot of harm. I've grown stronger and now I stick up for myself and don't let anyone push me into doing something I don't want to do.

[katy341]

Oh gosh this thread has turned!

I would never pressure my children for a ride! Certain aspects of life yes but traumatising him for life over a 2min ride...I think not! They are very impressionable as children and I'm not running the risk of his 1st time at wdw being ruined by a bad memory

We are 2a and 2c 2a and 1c love big rides... 1c doesn't we can be flexible! For me this threat was more about how can I go about making sure he has an enjoyable holiday and for those that have commented about YouTube clips an early reveal etc is helpful thank you xx

Last night we were talking about sat night takeaway and how I entered the competition he said oohhh I'd go if u won I beamed! He said oohhh yeah... I'd love the little computers on the back of the TV in the aeroplane lol

[Forkbeard]

Originally Posted by Andybear

To me being strong is not allowing someone to push you into something you don't want to do but rather it's doing what you feel is right for you despite pressure being put on you. When I was younger I did stuff for the sake of peace, just to shut someone up, and mentally it did me a lot of harm. I've grown stronger and now I stick up for myself and don't let anyone push me into doing something I don't want to do.

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If you believe that giving a kid an incentive to try a Disney attraction can cause mental harm then I think we're probably not on the same page.

As for not getting pushed around anymore... since I'm not an immortal well armed 6'5" UFC fighter with a few million stashed away then getting pushed around and losing sometimes is just part of my life

[Andybear]

Originally Posted by Forkbeard

If you believe that giving a kid an incentive to try a Disney attraction can cause mental harm then I think we're probably not on the same page.

As for not getting pushed around anymore... since I'm not an immortal well armed 6'5" UFC fighter with a few million stashed away then getting pushed around and losing sometimes is just part of my life

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The person in question was my mother and it was a similar situation over many years. As I grew up she continued to pile on the pressure and eventually as an adult I decided I wanted nothing more to do with her - it's one of the best decisions I ever made.

The point I'm making is that pushing people into doing things they don't want to do, whether they're children or adults, just puts their backs up. No-one likes control freaks.

[firsttimemouse]

Originally Posted by katy341

Oh gosh this thread has turned!

I would never pressure my children for a ride! Certain aspects of life yes but traumatising him for life over a 2min ride...I think not! They are very impressionable as children and I'm not running the risk of his 1st time at wdw being ruined by a bad memory

We are 2a and 2c 2a and 1c love big rides... 1c doesn't we can be flexible! For me this threat was more about how can I go about making sure he has an enjoyable holiday and for those that have commented about YouTube clips an early reveal etc is helpful thank you xx

Last night we were talking about sat night takeaway and how I entered the competition he said oohhh I'd go if u won I beamed! He said oohhh yeah... I'd love the little computers on the back of the TV in the aeroplane lol

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Really pleased for you he made that comment.

I'm sure there will be lots of things he'll enjoy, you can never tell with kids which experiences will be their favourite, my two never fail to surprise me as it's often the least expected things they like the most.

[jonsgirl80]

Originally Posted by Forkbeard

Adding words like "huge" and "obviously scared" just gives away your position..

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I've made my position very clear already so not sure what I'm supposed to be giving away here exactly.

I suspect I could repeat again and again that there's difference between fear of the unknown which can be corrected by exposure to fear of the physical discomfort which cannot but unless you have experienced it you cannot know how miserable it is. In that case you could go on the same ride 1000 times and still be scared. I could go on (and on ) as this is a subject I feel strongly about but dont want to derail OP's thread any further so think we'll have to agree to disagree

OP I'm really glad to hear your update and that he seems a lot more enthusiastic - that must set your mind at rest. The beauty of disney is that its possible to go and never set foot on a ride and still have a wonderful time and surely that is the whole point.

I agree 100% with what you just said. A good holiday is one where everybody comes away with good memories. I can honestly say from several theme park trips as a kid I have no happy memories at all I only remember fear, anxiety and being labelled a killjoy - my families efforts to cure me of my fear backfired spectacularly. For that reason it's lovely that you intend to be flexible with him. He may completely surprise you once he gets there but either way I'm sure he'll love it.