Help with a 10 year old at bedtime

[82lcm]

My daughter went through a stage of pouring out all the negative things at bedtime around the same age. I bought her a journal called happy confident me and she wrote in it after getting ready for bed. It helps to get feelings out but asks questions focusing on the positive things in the day. It really helped her and gave us something positive to talk about. She also listens to relaxing music like rainfall or a crackling fire which helps her to switch off.
Hope you find something that works.

[lexie32]

It really depends on how much sleep she needs? My 10 year old on a school night goes upstairs at 8.30 gets herself into bed and we tuck her on at 9pm she is allowed to read until 9.30 but often she will turn her light out and go to sleep before we check on her, she is easy to get up at 7sm snd will often get up at 6am to come to the stables snd ride her pony before school as she likes the quiet of the day. Non school nights she’s often up later than us playing computer games with her 16year old brother snd his girlfriend. We use the car as talking time as it’s just me and her most of the time and it stopped the late night worries !

[Donz1979]

My son is 10, reads downstairs till 9pm then off he pops to bed himself, I do have to leave landing light on all night though 😟

[Blue nose]

Maybe have a chat and say she's getting to be a big girl now now bedtime can be 8.45 as a reward but she needs to go straight to sleep. Talking etc is earlier and downstairs. Maybe read from 8.30 til 8.45 alone and then lights out/1 min tuck in.

Stress.how mich she's getting older and.its learning to bed more independent.

[DisneySarah]

I would suggest that if she wants to have more time to chat, bedtime needs to start earlier. Alternatively, she could decide a time before bedtime to have chats (obviously that might not work with your routine and other commitments). It’s up to her, but you are not going to stay later than X time. That way if they are genuine concerns that she needs to talk about, she still has a safe space and time to do it, but it is a finite amount of time that ends and then she goes to sleep.

[ely3857]

It sounds like a very early bedtime, especially when it’s so light outside, and a long drawn out process. Perhaps adjust the routine so the chatting is done downstairs, or maybe on a walk around the block so you’re still 1:1 with her then she sorts herself out for bed and is allowed to read until x time and it’s lights out.

[captain-codeye]

For me it would be make the bedtime later and enjoy the fact she wants to be with you whilst it lasts! dd is now 14 and I miss it.

Ds is 7 nearly 8 and he’s in bed for 9 and that’s a struggle in this light and he’s the same, wants to stay up and talk, watch tv etc, again I don’t mind as this time is precious, enjoy it.

[Hannah]

Thank you everyone, I will give your suggestions a go ♥️

[meboo]

My DD had anxiety so I’m coming at this from a slightly different angle. Her evening worries were genuine but not helpful right before bed. We were advised to set an earlier time for chatting about concerns and limit it to 10 mins. We were also told to be strict with this. They recommended a book for kids that likened worries to tomato plants - if you give them attention and feed them they grow out of control. So, for me, it was every day at 4pm ( but you could do it after you’ve eaten etc as long as there is an hour or so before bedtime routine).

[toots82]

My ds is 10 and his lights out time is 9.30 on a school night, obviously you judge it based on your own but if I put him any earlier he'll mess about until then anyway as he's just not tired enough. Maybe if you're happy to try extending it, explain to her its because shes getting to be a big girl but it does mean that everything has to be discussed/sorted/done by the new time or you'll need to rethink? He tries his luck sometimes (oh I need my water bottle etc.) but more often than not he's fine. We break up for school hols tomorrow so it's all change again as we let him have later and his sister (14) goes to bed after me on non school nights lol.