Help with a 10 year old at bedtime

[Excitedx4]

My ds is 10 and he takes himself to bed. Sometimes he’ll give us a hug before bed sometimes he doesn’t! No strict do’s and don’ts. We live on a lovely housing estate and live opposite the park 9/10 we’re shouting him in at 9.30 to get a shower and get in bed. He’s usually so exhausted from playing football/water fights/ running around he falls into bed but is fine getting up in the morning.

Personally at 10 I wouldn’t be putting a child to bed having that kind of routine. I did when they were little but not now.

[ScoopsAhoy]

Originally Posted by toots82

My ds is 10 and his lights out time is 9.30 on a school night, obviously you judge it based on your own but if I put him any earlier he'll mess about until then anyway as he's just not tired enough. Maybe if you're happy to try extending it, explain to her its because shes getting to be a big girl but it does mean that everything has to be discussed/sorted/done by the new time or you'll need to rethink? He tries his luck sometimes (oh I need my water bottle etc.) but more often than not he's fine. We break up for school hols tomorrow so it's all change again as we let him have later and his sister (14) goes to bed after me on non school nights lol.

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My dd is 10 and also goes to bed at 9:30.
I think you just know your child and like you say I know dd will be laying there awake if I put her to bed any earlier. She also wakes up fine in the morning so if she was clearly tired in the mornings then I’d know her bed time was too late.

[Michyloulou]

My DD (10 years old) doesn’t go to bed until 9:45-10pm. It may sound late, but she does wind-down downstairs and has always fallen asleep quite quickly after going to bed. She does still insist on me taking her up to bed but I just tuck her in, kiss her goodnight & come back down. Fortunately staggered start times at school (DD is on 9am start) means she doesn’t have to get up quite as early for school so often sleeps in until 7.30am. I work at the same school, but the class I am in is an earlier start (and I have to be at school about 20 mins before our start time), so I leave the house first, then DH takes DD to school for me ready for her start time.

[Floridatilly]

I do think that any worries or concerns fester at bedtime and it’s lovely that your 10 year ild feels they can snuggle and chat at bedtime. My daughter has always been pretty good at going to bed, story time, snuggle then sleep but both my boys are night time worriers. My middle son could never, ever settle in bed, it would go on for hours, he just wanted to be cuddled and reassured until he fell asleep. He had lots of anxiety about school mainly because of his learning difficulties. He is 15 now and goes to sleep without one of us with him. My 8 year old can’t sleep unless someone is with him but he will grow out of it.

[Bolto6]

My 6 year old is a nightmare, so much so we’ve give up on early bedtime. We go for a bath around 8pm, with a view to her being ready for bed at 9pm, but often she’s not tired and just refuses to go to bed, most nights it’s 10pm before she’s asleep. Even if we put her in bed and sit with her, she’ll still be awake until 10. This week I’ve had the dreaded “but it’s not dark outside yet.” We don’t get her up until 8am, need to leave at 8.30 for school.

On the weekend she has a “sleepover” in my room on Fri/Sat, and we have movie night on Friday, but I’m dreading the holidays, as I made a joke at Feb half term about her going to my bedroom for a holiday and now she’s sleeping over every holiday, although on the plus side it has meant I go to bed earlier than usual.

[pretty_lucky]

Originally Posted by meboo

My DD had anxiety so I’m coming at this from a slightly different angle. Her evening worries were genuine but not helpful right before bed. We were advised to set an earlier time for chatting about concerns and limit it to 10 mins. We were also told to be strict with this. They recommended a book for kids that likened worries to tomato plants - if you give them attention and feed them they grow out of control. So, for me, it was every day at 4pm ( but you could do it after you’ve eaten etc as long as there is an hour or so before bedtime routine).

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Thanks for this, very useful info.