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Old 7 Jun 20, 10:33 AM  
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EssexSue
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I call my daughter and daughters in law the girls and we go on girls outings. I also have a group of friends called (tongue in cheek) the ladies who lunch. The person who first called us that was actually being a bit snide but we turned it round and use it ourselves.

Strangely our click and collect seems to be staffed by very pleasant young men, I chat to them while they load the car. I've just realised I'd feel more awkward if we had a saloon car isn't that odd?
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Old 7 Jun 20, 10:35 AM  
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EssexSue
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Originally Posted by Colette-S View Post
For the record, I also object to the phrase fairer sex
I don't, I take any compliments going! But weaker sex that's something else.
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Old 7 Jun 20, 10:43 AM  
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Dougie
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Originally Posted by Chilli-pepper View Post
It also saddens me that we have not moved in society that it is seemly acceptable that females are still seen as 'weak' and needed to be 'helped'. And naturally I am just waiting for the next comment to come along ''that I am being far too easy offended'' in the usual patronising way.

I don't automatically assume that a man can fix a car or put up shelves just because they are a man and these were seen as traditional 'man jobs' so what cant we move on,

This is nothing to do with being polite, holding open the door, please and thank you's etc, I do all of those regardless of the person being young, old, male or female.

added: and I guess going back to the original post - yes you are being old fashioned. -
I agree with most of your points and i too , would be polite to anyone, regardless of gender / age.

I dont think that females are generally been seen as weak etc...
What does grind my gears is that many woman , when they talk about feminism and equality etc... feel like they are talking for all women... they are not !

I am in my 50s so i suppose i am part of the 'older generation' but you say you are offended of being called the fairer sex, why ? Its just a name. The guys at work call me bab, love, sweetheart. They also call me mate, mukka and wazzak. None of those, offend me, its just a name.

As for calling the OP old fashioned, he isnt, he is just acting on the way he was bought up and his values and to be quite honest, i would take those values over the selfish 'me me me' ones we have today.
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Old 7 Jun 20, 10:45 AM  
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WhereIBelong
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Originally Posted by EssexSue View Post
I don't, I take any compliments going! But weaker sex that's something else.
but fairer sex is a backhanded compliment - synonymous with fairer skin, working outside less, generally weaker without actually saying so - it is ingrained in our society like automatically calling little girls pretty, and little boys strong.
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Old 7 Jun 20, 10:50 AM  
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...but maybe the 'young girls' wanted to help an 'old man'

Old fashioned views - yes, meant harm - no.
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Old 7 Jun 20, 10:54 AM  
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Just read the thread and it is obvious no offence was meant by OP. I know he is no longer answering but he is probably reading still so wanted to say don’t get down about this, I know your heart was in the right place and the gender thing is a minefield at the moment. Is he old fashioned? Maybe with his use of the “fairer sex” comment, that’s something you would hear in a Doris Day film, which I love by the way, Doris Day not the comment.

I work in a school and just before lockdown when the world was a bit more normal than now the staff received an email asking us not to refer to groups of pupils as “guys” as in “hey guys listen in“ we had to use either people or pupils as some staff (not pupils) were getting offended that they were not guys and gender should be neutral. Just did not sound right “hey pupils listen in” We have also been told to try not to use “he” or “she“ when discussing a pupil as they may get offended if they are transitioning.

The one saying I particularly find uncomfortable is when people call others “darling” now that smacks of 1970’s comedians.
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Old 7 Jun 20, 10:56 AM  
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Originally Posted by Dougie View Post
I agree with most of your points and i too , would be polite to anyone, regardless of gender / age.

I dont think that females are generally been seen as weak etc...
What does grind my gears is that many woman , when they talk about feminism and equality etc... feel like they are talking for all women... they are not !

I am in my 50s so i suppose i am part of the 'older generation' but you say you are offended of being called the fairer sex, why ? Its just a name. The guys at work call me bab, love, sweetheart. They also call me mate, mukka and wazzak. None of those, offend me, its just a name.

As for calling the OP old fashioned, he isnt, he is just acting on the way he was bought up and his values and to be quite honest, i would take those values over the selfish 'me me me' ones we have today.

I too am in my 50's so the same generation, not that that should mean anything?

And for want of repeating myself I too have 'values' always say please and thank you, polite, helpful etc, and this should never be anything about a generation- everyone regardless of age or sex should have these values.

The 'old fashioned' comment is still in today's world using the term 'fairer sex'. which is a benevolent sexist term to which I do take offence at the meaning behind it, and being referred to as being this.

Hopefully I have now made it clear that 'values' and being polite and helpful is nothing to do with the term 'Fairer Sex' and the meaning behind it?
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Old 7 Jun 20, 10:57 AM  
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Originally Posted by Wazza View Post
I never said women were inferior, weak or needed help. I never said women can’t do anything. I did say I find it uncomfortable being helped when I can do something for myself, but that’s my problem. I did mention the assistants were girls, because they were.
Like you I’d do the same for all ages and genders, so I guess we’re both old fashioned.
I really dislike the way you are needing to defend and explain yourself,when your post came from nothing but having good intentions.
I think we all know exactly what you meant.
I would have also felt uncomfortable and as you say,our natural instinct is to help.
I run a pub and have massive deliveries in the summer,it’s always men who deliver and they are more than capable,but I always help them as it’s nice to be nice.
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Old 7 Jun 20, 11:11 AM  
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Originally Posted by 2point View Post
We've had a new training video at work for when we go back to the office. Holding doors open is now banned.

I always held doors open but hated it when snooty self entitled types would just waft through without any acknowledgement. Now I won't feel guilty letting it slap them in the face.
Love it
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Old 7 Jun 20, 11:19 AM  
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EssexSue
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Originally Posted by WhereIBelong View Post
but fairer sex is a backhanded compliment - synonymous with fairer skin, working outside less, generally weaker without actually saying so - it is ingrained in our society like automatically calling little girls pretty, and little boys strong.
So by that is it racist too? To me it means pretty, as in fairest of them all. Maybe it's an age thing?
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