Changing secondary schools

[MillyMoo]

So sorry to hear about your daughter, it must be horrendous for all of you. They are meant to be happy and safe at school arent they 😔
We are in the process of moving dd but she is only in yr3 so probably not too helpful anyway! Glad to hear you have set the wheels in motion, I hope you soon from them x

[Disney Jo]

Originally Posted by mskitty

I work in secondary admissions at an academy. In our LA schools you want to move to are meant to look at the application in 7 days and give you a decision and so they should get back to you soon. Check the timescales they are bound by in your LA as I'm not sure if this is the same country wide.

Something that I find really useful is to have copies of the most recent school report and also if a parent gives permission to the current school to talk to me so I can find out all I need so we can process the move quickly once the place has been agreed (SEN information, other pastoral support given, other issues we may need to know about so we can support once they start)

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Thank you. I’ve had a look and can only find that primary schools in Essex is 15 days, but the secondary school part has no timeframe. Do you think that means there isn’t one and they can take as long as they take?

[mskitty]

Originally Posted by Disney Jo

Thank you. I’ve had a look and can only find that primary schools in Essex is 15 days, but the secondary school part has no timeframe. Do you think that means there isn’t one and they can take as long as they take?

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Might be worth a phone call to the admissions team at the council to check.

[Disney Jo]

We have decided to keep her off school Monday. We was having dinner tonight and she broke down begging us to not send her in and that she is so scared.

She was meant to be meeting her boyfriend - she’s known him since Nursery, they are in different school years and different schools tomorrow. She was walking to meet him and then go for a walk but she’s shaking tonight in fear incase she sees any of them. Her boyfriend is coming to ours instead and sitting in our garden.

It’s heartbreaking seeing her like this. I am friends with one of the bully’s mums on Facebook - DD has been friends with the girl for 12 years. She updated Facebook to say that it was pizza and wine night. I know it’s really silly but it makes me angry they are relaxed enjoying a weekend and we are consoling our daughter who is scared to leave the front door.

[Disney Jo]

Originally Posted by mskitty

Might be worth a phone call to the admissions team at the council to check.

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I will do this Monday, thank you for the advice.

[lfc_sarah]

Your poor daughter. Lots of love xxx

[Disney Jo]

Just a quick update.

We had the meeting at the school today. It went well, they listened and agreed they have failed DD. Some staff members have let her down as well.
We are taking her in for 9am Friday for a meeting with the other girls. The deputy head is doing the meeting and he is angry with them. DD is petrified but think it is needed. It will help hopefully the girls realise how much hurt they have caused and might help to mend the relationship ship with a few of them which she has known for 12 years. So they can continue friendship outside of the school or at least DD not be scared about bumping into them.
We will collect DD when the meeting finishes. They are trying to convince us to keep her there but we have not changed our minds on that. They are supplying work for this week up to Friday so DD doesn’t go in.
Things got worse for us sat night when DD said she wanted to jump off a bridge as she has no one.

[JessBlu]

Stay strong protect her, it must feel so bad for her right now.

I would take the day off work and do something she loves, theme park / trip to London ? Show her that the world is a big place and she will soon forget about these silly girls.

[Danex]

Originally Posted by JessBlu

Stay strong protect her, it must feel so bad for her right now.

I would take the day off work and do something she loves, theme park / trip to London ? Show her that the world is a big place and she will soon forget about these silly girls.

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Oh Disney Jo I’m so sorry your daughter is going through this, and I agree with Jessblu that it would be lovely to do something nice with her.

But I have to disagree with the bit about her soon forgetting about these silly girls, I’d love to say it was that easy for your daughter.

My own daughter suffered with issues for many years after her bullying, it doesn’t just be forgotten about, some counselling may be something you want to think about to help?

Sending lots of love to her ❤️

[Disney Jo]

Thank you all.

We are waiting for Chessington to agree DD access card for rides and carer and then we plan to go in a few weeks. DD boyfriend is coming with us, she see him Saturday as well and it was lovely to hear her giggles.

Counselling is on our mind as well for her, would anyone with experience of this recommend we start that now or get her through the meeting Friday and then get some in place?

The new school have been in touch to say they might be able to do a “managed move” and will speak to her current school. I think from a google search this means starting quickly at the new school but old school keep her place open incase she wants to return. I can’t see her ever wanting to return but if a managed move means it will happen quickly then we will go along with it.

The school are meant to be setting her school work and advised that her absence will be authorised - we really didn’t mind whether this would or wouldn’t happen.