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Old 22 Dec 19, 06:36 PM  
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CarolynU
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My sister has a close friend who she went to university with and shared accommodation with.
Last week she rang my sister distraught because her daughter who is spending six months in Australia was in hospital having taken ket and something else and was in hospital in a coma.
She and her ex husband had no idea that their daughter took this kind of thing and literally jumped on the next available flight.
They then spent a further 48 hours by the daughters bedside and luckily the girl who had been given a 50/50 chance came around and now seems ok, although not well enough to return to the UK.
This young lady is intelligent and has a bright future in front of her. She nearly lost that in that foolish act.
If my sister had known that her friends daughter was taking substances like this I’m pretty sure that she would have said something and I’m pretty sure that her friend would have appreciated that. If that had prevented this dreadful situation it would have been a small price to pay.
However, I appreciate that every situation and relationship is different.
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Old 22 Dec 19, 06:42 PM  
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EssexSue
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What does your son think you should do? After all he is an adult himself.
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Old 22 Dec 19, 07:25 PM  
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Just my thoughts , Super tough one , are they 18 ? You say 17/18 . 18 are adults regardless of under your roof . If it’s your house and your child then obviously your rules . Were they drinking ? Some kids don’t take alcohol as well as others so may be perceived to have taken something? Unless it was witnessed them taking them , which Im presuming it wasn’t from what you say , just talk and then An assumption ? Then you can’t really go and say to parents they may be/have taken something . Kids do make things up to look cool , they always have even my mates when we were growing up.
If I had witnessed/heard it myself then I would have spoken up that night.
Perhaps just a conversation with the parents about their thoughts on drugs in general may be a better idea ?
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Old 22 Dec 19, 07:52 PM  
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Jakey Neverland
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I don't think it is your place to tell the parents, from experience people do not like to hear things they don't know about their children.
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Old 22 Dec 19, 07:54 PM  
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I would say something... you aren’t saying that they are definitely doing ket, you are simply telling the parents to be on their guard - maybe pay a bit more attention for a while to see if they spot anything unusual, maybe talk to their off spring a bit more.
I don’t think for one minute that anyone is suggesting going in all guns blazing with an absolute statement of fact, but I think it’s entirely appropriate to mention what was heard, and suggest that it may be nothing and let the other parents decide whether to dismiss the info or be a bit more watchful...
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Old 22 Dec 19, 08:03 PM  
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Originally Posted by caj View Post
Hi all ... I'm after opinions please ...

Last night we went to a friends 'drinks and nibbles party'. People were there that I've known for years, I've had their kids in kids clubs from time to time. So there was the usual 'teen boy' room ... a side room with xbox etc and they all sat on their phones. Most of the kids knew each other a bit. Age range from 10 to 19. Parents all thrre in another room.

So as we leave, my 19yo was busting a gut to tell me what hed heard. There were 4 17/18yos who were discussing where they got their ket from. They went out and came back shortly after 'somewhat spaced'. He was convinced they'd taken something.

My question ... would you tell parents? Or keep quiet. At home I've discussed drug use endlessly ... and so far, I think mine haven't. But I'm saying that hoping it continues that way, but under no illusions.

Would you want to know, if you were the parents ?
Yes, I would.

Ketamine is dangerous and if they have younger siblings who could potentially be at risk, then yes, I would speak to the parents.
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Old 22 Dec 19, 08:24 PM  
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marypoppins38
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As a parent of a teen the same age, I would definitely want to know. Luckily my DD is very very anti drugs. She has a close friend that has a girlfriend that constantly dabbles in drugs and she had told him unequivocally that she does not want to be in her company because of this. Its caused a lot of heartache and upset for her but she is adamant.
in your situation Caj, I think I would mention that they were overheard talking about about getting some Ket. The ball in is their court then to believe what they want to but at least they have been given the heads up.
I would be devastated if I thought a friend had known about possible drugs use and not said anything to me. I really feel for you, its not a nice situation to be in and whatever you do, either party is going to be upset.
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Old 22 Dec 19, 08:37 PM  
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TheHughesCrew
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Personally, I would want to know.

If it were me, if probably say something like "the talk in the teens room was all about Ket, I'm sure it wasn't all of them, but keep an eye just in case". You've then made the parents aware, but not accused their child of being involved.

Good luck x
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Old 22 Dec 19, 08:40 PM  
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CarolynU
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Originally Posted by Jakey Neverland View Post
I don't think it is your place to tell the parents, from experience people do not like to hear things they don't know about their children.
You see here is where as a parent I would be different. I would want to know even if it’s a suspicion rather than a fact. It would open up a dialogue which with the relationship that I had with my kids would be given and received in the best interests.
I often think a parallel is how the OP would feel if nothing was said and the child/adult ended up in a coma like my sisters friends daughter did and the outcome was not as positive.
You might then have to listen to the heartbreak of the parents saying; “ oh if only we had known!” Then have the knowledge that you did know or had suspicions!
However, caution is recommended because as I said everyone’s situation and relationship with the parties involved is different.
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Old 22 Dec 19, 09:00 PM  
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Not the same situation but as a teenager my niece was exhibiting signs at school of having anorexic tendencies. She was leaving most of her lunch every day and seeming to be focussing a lot on weight reduction and the clothes size that she was wearing and her shape.
Her friends became worried about her and must have discussed this with their parents.
One day my sister who was a very hands on parent received a phone call right out of the blue from a concerned mum, and thank goodness she did, because she was able to tackle the situation sensitively and it opened up a real can of worms and that non eating was only the tip of the iceberg.
Again lots of it was peer pressure, and self image etc etc.
The road ahead was bumpy but I dread to think what would have happened had that mum not picked up the phone that day.
She must have been completely unaware of the reception that she was going to receive but did it anyway.
My sister will be forever grateful.
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