Terrible jokes thread

[disney332]

I watched a documentary last night about how they connect boat panels together.

It was riveting.

Disney332

[Johnnyp]

Who can drink 10 litres of fuel?

Jerry can

[tocpe321]

I got thrown out of art college.

I was asked to name my favourite French impressionist and I said Peter Sellers.

[disney332]

My mate died yesterday. His wife said he was fixated with taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle.

She said he had serious selfie steam issues.

Disney332

[Bovril]

I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles... ...my next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster

[disney332]

There was a busker playing at the tube station yesterday. I was amazed at how the sound bounced off the walls and seemed to surround me.

But I noticed that when the pigeons made some noise, the sound didn't bounce around in the same way.

Apparently, the reason is a coo sticks.

Disney332

[SussexFamily]

Dry January is going really well.

Almost the end of the month and I haven't wet myself...

[tocpe321]

They say time flies when you're having fun, but I prefer to race ants instead.

[tocpe321]

I fancied buying a cheap bit of venison for lunch, but then someone told me it was a little deer.

[tocpe321]

Final rubbish one for tonight...I promise.

Why can't you marry a melon in Gretna Green?

Because they can't-elope.