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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:01 AM  
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2littleboys
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My dad is really ill...

Some Dibbers may remember my story regarding my dad as he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at only 55. We are now 7 years into the disease and over the past year have experienced a vast decline with him being permanently admitted to a care home in June.

I received a call from the care home on Monday morning to say he had collapsed and been rushed to hospital, when he arrived at hospital they sent him for a chest xray and started treating him for pneumonia. I received a call from a nurse on Wednesday to say he had been for a CT scan and could I come in and speak with a consultant as they didn't want to give me the results over the telephone.

I went in to meet the doctor yesterday and it turns out my dad has advanced lung cancer and probably secondary cancer throughout the body. We decided there was no point in further scans and tests and we can only make him comfortable for the very short time he has left. He will hopefully be released back to his care home today (after two negative Covid tests) for palliative care.

I am heartbroken but at the same time feel so guilty, as his Alzheimer's advanced there have been times I wished he would sleep away and then to be told this. I completely lost it when the doctor said he wouldn't make it to Christmas, I was alone when I went to the hospital as my mum couldnt come in with me as it is strictly one person per patient. My dad was always a big man and he was so frail looking and his skin was yellow which makes me think the cancer may be in the liver.

I feel so bad this morning, what a horrible situation waiting for someone you love to die.
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:06 AM  
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PoohBears#1fan
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I'm so sorry, my thoughts really are with you.

My late dad had Alzheimers, it really is the cruelest disease, you mourn them twice, once as you lose the person they were, then as you lose them

Likewise when I lost my mum I just wanted an end to her suffering as the end neared and then had so much guilt for that.

Awful feelings to have and a hideous thing for you to go through, stay strong xx
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:07 AM  
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Loopylooloo
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Am so very sorry, such a sad situation for you all, your dad is so young too. We are all here if you need us anytime x
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:08 AM  
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anniee
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Aw how sad. My Dad has alzheimers - such a horrible illness. Please do not feel guilty. your Dad wouldn't want that. Hope that your Dad has a peaceful end, and I know you will be looking after him and worried about your mum but please take some time for yourself throughout this time.
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:11 AM  
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Mary A
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Thinking of you, my Mam had Alzheimer's too 💕
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:13 AM  
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Rac20
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I am so very sorry for you and your family. Please don’t feel guilty about any thoughts that you have. Alzheimer’s is a terrible, terrible disease. Sending love to you all.
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:19 AM  
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Orlando 2004
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So sorry. I hope the care home can make your dad as comfortable as possible. X
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:27 AM  
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pinkbelle
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So sorry to read this, I am sure many of us have empathy for what you are all going through.

Don’t feel guilty for any feelings you may have had, it’s heartbreaking watching those we love suffer.

Thinking of you.
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:33 AM  
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parisdisneyfan
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Although my dad didn't have dementia we were given similar news when he was admitted to hospital with suspected pneumonia. We practically lived at the hospital for the few days he had left. You know in your heart that there is nothing to be done but then feel guilty for not doing anything.

Please remember to take care of yourself too, it is too easy to block your feelings by looking after everyone else and all that needs to be done but it will come back and hit you later.
Sending hugs and strength for the days and weeks to follow and hope that the time your dad has left is comfortable and peaceful xx
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Old 2 Oct 20, 09:50 AM  
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macdonald
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Stay strong...your dad will be set free and would want you to be happy...Some time down the line we will all be together again...
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