Teenagers and parties

[disney1st timer]

Dd is 15 (16 in two weeks). She’s been to one house party before which was her friends and her mum supervised. There was a bit of alcohol and they all got “merry” but it was pretty tame where they danced and sang all night. She asked to go to a party tonight which was with a newish friend (I haven’t met her) and at a house of a girl she doesn’t know. She also wanted to stay over. I said no to it all at first but then compromised that she could go but I would drop her off and pick her up at 11 (no staying over). She agreed to this but was not happy, said that I’m over reacting and dramatic and that all of her friends do things like this ALL the time. I just wondered what you all let your teens do and what’s normal and what’s OVER DRAMATIC? I don’t think I am at all and would be surprised if anyone let there young teen girls do this but sometimes I don’t have a clue what I’m doing with a teenager 😂 interested in your opinions.

[aqualiv]

If parents are there I’d say it absolutely fine to stay over if not then picking her up at 11 is a good compromise 👍🏻

[petit-pois]

My Dd is 15 if I knew the parents I’d have no issue in letting her stay over but as it’s a new friend I’d have said similar to you.
We don’t allow alcohol at this age though.

[evergreen]

16 pick up 11 no alcohol

[Edie ray]

I think you made the right compromise

If I knew the friend and the parents were there I would of let her stay x

[lfc_sarah]

Originally Posted by aqualiv

If parents are there I’d say it absolutely fine to stay over if not then picking her up at 11 is a good compromise 👍🏻

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This for me too!

Thing is though, you can ask us all what we think but ultimately it's what you feel comfortable with for your daughter.
If you don't feel comfortable, it's absolutely your right to set your own rules x

[levtweeney]

Absolutely the right call, well done you.

you’ve never met the new friend, you don’t know the girl whose party it is, you’ve never met the parents of the kids. Good decision

[Bee happy]

My son is 15 and I've been in exactly same position as you a few times. I have not let him stay at homes where I do not know the child or parent, we're always the bad parents as all of his friends are allowed to do it. Like you we arrange to pick him up, more often than not end up taking some of his friends home so not all of them actually stay.
I have to be honest I do feel mean some of the time but I'm just not happy with him staying with people I don't know. It's tough being a parent to teenagers 🤦

[disney1st timer]

Thanks all, it’s reassuring that I’m on the same wavelength as most. I would love to say no alcohol but my mum was really strict with me on alcohol and I ended up going behind her back and making very reckless and silly decisions when I was that age so I prefer being a bit more open to it on the understanding I know where and who she’s with if she’s having a drink and not passed out on a park 🙈

[DisneyDaffodil]

My youngest is now 21 so we’ve been through all this 3 times over. Actually easier with the youngest as she didn’t and still doesn’t drink alcohol.

At 15, we would pick them up at 11, possibly 12 on a weekend with friends they knew well. We were told we were unfair and that everyone 🙄 else was allowed to stay on occasion but they knew the rules. As the older two got older, they often stayed out overnight and came home with sore heads the next day but no major issues thankfully