Am I in the wrong?

[MsMinervaMouse]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply <3

I guess I'm just a bit shocked that her reaction flipped so quickly. Only a week before we talked about DH and I, she was asking if we had started trying yet and seemed excited. She seems to be making it about the state our marriage, when really it's probably about her feeling left out.

Sorry...I kind of answered my own question here. It's just really been bothering me these last few days, and I wanted to make sure I hadn't overlooked something, or that I was being unfair in some way. My mum passed away when I was very young, so the only women I really have to share this time with are friend A and friend B!

[Tink Tina]

Please try and have a chat with her, you are good friends so should be able to talk openly.

You mentioned she was planning to get married, do you feature in her plans, would being pregnant change that?

[EssexSue]

I am surprised you all share so much. I would never tell anyone I was planning a pregnancy in case I jinxed it - or is this an age thing?

[Cloverlady]

At the end of the day it has nothing to with the friend if or when the OP tries for a baby, but maybe she felt she supported OP during her time when she was talking about doubting the relationship with her husband with her friends.

Maybe she felt it seemed too soon as it was only a month ago that OP said she was doubting to such a degree that she felt the need to talk things through with people on the outside?
So, maybe thinks you ought to wait and give it time to all settle down after confiding her fears to her friends so very recently? Maybe she thinks having a baby would be an attempt at a sticking plaster?
Maybe she has other issues and niggles within the friendship and this was the 'last straw'?

We don't know.

As I say it ultimately it is not the friend's decision to make anyway.

If that's what you and your OH want OP, I wish you all the best in this exciting time and that you hear the patter of tiny feet as soon as possible!

[2point]

Who in the group is the one that always has to be the centre of attention?

A, B or you?

Do A and B have other best friends or is this the extent of the best friend circle? Very difficult to judge other's relationships.

[Beth_Disney]

Do you want to remain friends with friend A? I'm also in my 30's and have a very small friendship group now as I'm less tolerant of anyone that gets on my nerves! I've decided that a small group of good friends is my preference.

My take on the scenario is that friend A and friend B have supported you when you were considering making a life changing decision. Then a couple of weeks later, friend A voices her concerns about you trying for a baby so soon after telling her that you were unhappy in your marriage but you choose not to listen to her advice. I don't see it as jealousy, I see it as concern for you and the baby and possibly annoyance that you didn't listen to her. Based on what you've written, I agree with friend A - take more time to bond with your husband and build a happy relationship between the two of you.

[floridasgirl]

Originally Posted by EssexSue

I am surprised you all share so much. I would never tell anyone I was planning a pregnancy in case I jinxed it - or is this an age thing?

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I was thinking the same. Not because of jinxing it but because it's so personal! I just wouldnt discuss something like this with anyone!

[sam_b]

Originally Posted by Beth_Disney

Do you want to remain friends with friend A? I'm also in my 30's and have a very small friendship group now as I'm less tolerant of anyone that gets on my nerves! I've decided that a small group of good friends is my preference.

My take on the scenario is that friend A and friend B have supported you when you were considering making a life changing decision. Then a couple of weeks later, friend A voices her concerns about you trying for a baby so soon after telling her that you were unhappy in your marriage but you choose not to listen to her advice. I don't see it as jealousy, I see it as concern for you and the baby and possibly annoyance that you didn't listen to her. Based on what you've written, I agree with friend A - take more time to bond with your husband and build a happy relationship between the two of you.

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With the facts as presented, I agree with the above.

[Enchanted]

Originally Posted by sam_b

With the facts as presented, I agree with the above.

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I agree with this too. She doesn't sound jealous at all tbh.
I have a friend who is constantly falling out with her other half, in a very similar way. She talks about how bad her relationship is, how she's not sure if they're right for each other and then all of a sudden they're talking babies which I find ridiculous tbh.
If you're going to share every detail of your personal life with people then prepare for them to have strong opinions.

[MsMinervaMouse]

Just to add an extra layer of perspective, I suffer with OCD and intrusive thoughts, and I can often make things out to be a WAY bigger deal than they actually are. Not to say that something wasn't wrong, just that all I needed to do was take 30 mins to talk to my husband about how I was feeling. Which we did, and the problem was solved immediately. We've never ever had a row, and we've known each other for 16 years!

This is my fault. If I took the time to reach out to A & B in the first place, I should have had the courtesy to tell them that everything was fine. Which I didn't do. (At least not properly). So if she is coming from a place of concern, then it's my fault that she feels like way.

Thanks everyone for putting this into perspective for me. I'll give it some time for things to cool down a bit and then try and talk to her about it. Hopefully we can sort this out.