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13 Dec 19, 09:05 PM |
#21
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Imagineer
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No one knows the circumstances so you can't say that patching up is exactly what is needed. I always use the analogy that if a partner abused a person people would tell them to stay well away... what is the difference with a parent doing it do they somehow have a right due to biology?
[/QUOTE]I am now an orphan - fact [/QUOTE] I also say this as a person who has lost both parents but am also to see a balanced view that blood doesn't always mean that a parent can provide unconditional love... anyone can be abusive. I'm not sure if you have heard the term coercive control but I fail to see the difference between a parent doing this and a partner doing this or any other friend or family member. [/QUOTE]My Parents died knowing I loved them and they love me - fact [/QUOTE] From other posts the OP has made it is clear that she is shown love from her mother and sister and therefore she is opening herself to hurt.. Just to put perspective none of us can understand but we shouldn't encourage someone into a relationship that has caused them a lot of upset and distress. Only she can make the decision whether she wants to maintain communication but it is not helpful to guilt her into it.
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21 Night QSDP Food Report - Mar/Apr 2019 |
13 Dec 19, 09:33 PM |
#22
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Imagineer
Join Date: Jul 14
Location: The Tiki Room.
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OP. This may not apply to you but you will be amazed at how many people slip us with innocuous posts or comments etc that then leads to an address.
I don’t just mean the Dibb but other places such as Facebook etc. I hope you get some closure on this.
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"PAGING MR MORROW, MR TOM MORROW..." ''I drink Wine and know things'' DVC Owners at SSR since 2003. Multiple annual visits to America since 1976 |
13 Dec 19, 09:38 PM |
#23
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Imagineer
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Which is why I said that the op knew better than we did and said she could ignore my comment. But as a mum of 30+ year old sons, I know I would move heaven and earth to reconcile with them if we had fallen out. This could be the same for her mum but maybe the op doesn’t realise it as she is so upset.
I do understand that this isn’t always the case and if the op feels she shouldn’t have contact with her mother because her mother is manipulative or some other reason then she shouldn’t do so. |
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13 Dec 19, 09:46 PM |
#24
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Imagineer
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Ouch ! Your personal reply to me has hurt me so much- thank you for that I may now withdraw from theDibb[/QUOTE] Apologies , my reply wasn't personal to you I was just explaining that we can't really advise her on whether or not she should contact her mum. I quoted your points only because you had gone further into explaining your thought process on why they should reconnect and wanted to try and explain the other side..My post wasn't intended to be personal to you it was intended to explain to everyone feeling like you do that there is probably more to this than we can see than a normal healthy mother daughter relationship xx I would just like to add that you were okay being 'blunt' as you called it with Joshie1 and she didn't take personal offence to your comments... We can't always agree with each other but we can be taught to have a wider knowledge through other peoples experience
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21 Night QSDP Food Report - Mar/Apr 2019 Edited at 10:39 PM. |
13 Dec 19, 10:15 PM |
#25
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Imagineer
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Sorry but this is easy to say without knowing the finer details.
My mother found out where I was and continued her onslaught, sending me funeral cards on my birthday, writing abusive letters to the neighbours etc Writing me letters saying how she wishes she had got rid of me, didn't love me. She didn't track me down out of love, but for her own ends of mental abuse. Some of us never had it to start with. My Dad died and it broke my world. But he loved me and I him. I tried so hard for 30 years to win her love but when she started affecting my childrens wellbeing it was the final straw. So with the greatest respect I say its not always the blood that binds us, in cases it can destroy us. |
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13 Dec 19, 10:27 PM |
#26
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Imagineer
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I'm firmly with the OP here. I haven't spoken to my mother for several years and have no intention of ever doing so again. My sister can do no wrong, I can do no right, that's the way it's always been. Loads of people pointed it out to her but she wouldn't listen. The rest of my family aren't talking to me because of it. But I have peace of mind.
Edited at 10:30 PM. |
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13 Dec 19, 10:36 PM |
#27
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VIP Dibber
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This is such a sad thread.
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13 Dec 19, 10:43 PM |
#28
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Imagineer
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Sorry to read this , a lot of people haven't been exposed to or learnt about this sort of behaviour so it is very difficult for people to understand why a family member particularly a mother would not have a 'normal' motherly bond with their children.
Sending hugs xx
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21 Night QSDP Food Report - Mar/Apr 2019 |
13 Dec 19, 10:50 PM |
#29
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Apprentice Imagineer
Join Date: Jul 04
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If I'm honest I think it's a confusing thread. The OP asked how her address might have been accessed and was given a range of unsolicited opinions about whether she should be receptive to a parental attempt at reconciliation that may or may not be occurring. Someone who pointed out that this was problematic had her input referred to as 'pussyfooted' and a perfectly innocuous comment was pronounced to be ' personal' perhaps leading to a withdrawal from the Dibb? I think we may all be suffering from P E T , Post Electoral Tension and I'm prescribing myself an early night. 🙂
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13 Dec 19, 11:09 PM |
#30
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Guest
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Look try not to let this upset you too much before Christmas, I know it's easily said. There's lots of well meaning advice here but that doesn't mean you have to take it.
I remember your past posts about the toxic and unfair releationship you two have from the past when almost to a man we advised you to remove yourself from her orbit (if I didn't I was thinking). For your own well being I think that's probably the way for you to continue for the time being. I agree with others, send it back. Edited at 12:28 AM. |
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