Notices
General Chat This forum is for general topics and chat type threads.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 13 Dec 19, 09:05 PM  
Link to this Post
#21
3disneykids
Imagineer
 
3disneykids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 18
Location: Yorkshire
Originally Posted by megaflyer View Post
I agree but disagree

Patching things up is exactly what is needed - how would she feel if her mother died ? Sorry to be blunt but your “pussyfooted” comment however well intended really might not be the best advice !
No one knows the circumstances so you can't say that patching up is exactly what is needed. I always use the analogy that if a partner abused a person people would tell them to stay well away... what is the difference with a parent doing it do they somehow have a right due to biology?

[/QUOTE]I am now an orphan - fact [/QUOTE]

I also say this as a person who has lost both parents but am also to see a balanced view that blood doesn't always mean that a parent can provide unconditional love... anyone can be abusive. I'm not sure if you have heard the term coercive control but I fail to see the difference between a parent doing this and a partner doing this or any other friend or family member.

[/QUOTE]My Parents died knowing I loved them and they love me - fact [/QUOTE]
From other posts the OP has made it is clear that she is shown love from her mother and sister and therefore she is opening herself to hurt..

Just to put perspective none of us can understand but we shouldn't encourage someone into a relationship that has caused them a lot of upset and distress. Only she can make the decision whether she wants to maintain communication but it is not helpful to guilt her into it.
3disneykids is offline Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 09:33 PM  
Link to this Post
#22
Mr Tom Morrow
Imagineer
 
Join Date: Jul 14
Location: The Tiki Room.

theDIBB Guidebook
Pages Created: 3
OP. This may not apply to you but you will be amazed at how many people slip us with innocuous posts or comments etc that then leads to an address.

I don’t just mean the Dibb but other places such as Facebook etc.

I hope you get some closure on this.
__________________

"PAGING MR MORROW, MR TOM MORROW..."

''I drink Wine and know things''

DVC Owners at SSR since 2003.
Multiple annual visits to America since 1976
Mr Tom Morrow is offline Boy Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 09:38 PM  
Link to this Post
#23
DisneyDaffodil
Imagineer
 
DisneyDaffodil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 15
Location: South Wales
Mobile

Originally Posted by katiec68 View Post
Given the OP is clearly very upset may I suggest that this is a way of her mother controlling and manipulating her rather than "let's build bridges".

Op

Return the letter saying "not known here"
Xxxxx
Which is why I said that the op knew better than we did and said she could ignore my comment. But as a mum of 30+ year old sons, I know I would move heaven and earth to reconcile with them if we had fallen out. This could be the same for her mum but maybe the op doesn’t realise it as she is so upset.

I do understand that this isn’t always the case and if the op feels she shouldn’t have contact with her mother because her mother is manipulative or some other reason then she shouldn’t do so.
DisneyDaffodil is online now Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 09:46 PM  
Link to this Post
#24
3disneykids
Imagineer
 
3disneykids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 18
Location: Yorkshire
Originally Posted by megaflyer View Post
I am now an orphan - fact
I also say this as a person who has lost both parents but am also to see a balanced view that blood doesn't always mean that a parent can provide unconditional love... anyone can be abusive. I'm not sure if you have heard the term coercive control but I fail to see the difference between a parent doing this and a partner doing this or any other friend or family member.

My Parents died knowing I loved them and they love me - fact

From other posts the OP has made it is clear that she is shown love from her mother and sister and therefore she is opening herself to hurt..

Just to put perspective none of us can understand but we shouldn't encourage someone into a relationship that has caused them a lot of upset and distress. Only she can make the decision whether she wants to maintain communication but it is not helpful to guilt her into it.

Ouch !

Your personal reply to me has hurt me so much- thank you for that

I may now withdraw from theDibb[/QUOTE]

Apologies , my reply wasn't personal to you I was just explaining that we can't really advise her on whether or not she should contact her mum. I quoted your points only because you had gone further into explaining your thought process on why they should reconnect and wanted to try and explain the other side..My post wasn't intended to be personal to you it was intended to explain to everyone feeling like you do that there is probably more to this than we can see than a normal healthy mother daughter relationship xx

I would just like to add that you were okay being 'blunt' as you called it with Joshie1 and she didn't take personal offence to your comments... We can't always agree with each other but we can be taught to have a wider knowledge through other peoples experience

Edited at 10:39 PM.
3disneykids is offline Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 10:15 PM  
Link to this Post
#25
cybermum
Imagineer
 
cybermum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 08

cybermum's Reviews
Restaurant Reviews: 4
Originally Posted by megaflyer View Post
I agree but disagree

Patching things up is exactly what is needed - how would she feel if her mother died ? Sorry to be blunt but your “pussyfooted” comment however well intended really might not be the best advice !

I am now an orphan - fact

I had a great relationship with my (adopted) parents - fact

It wasn’t always rainbows and roses but bloody hard work at times - maybe cos I am gay - fact

My Parents died knowing I loved them and they love me - fact

You can’t replace the bond from prenatal love (even marriage and children aren’t the same )

Please don’t regret anything - please
Sorry but this is easy to say without knowing the finer details.
My mother found out where I was and continued her onslaught, sending me funeral cards on my birthday, writing abusive letters to the neighbours etc
Writing me letters saying how she wishes she had got rid of me, didn't love me.
She didn't track me down out of love, but for her own ends of mental abuse.
Some of us never had it to start with. My Dad died and it broke my world. But he loved me and I him.
I tried so hard for 30 years to win her love but when she started affecting my childrens wellbeing it was the final straw.
So with the greatest respect I say its not always the blood that binds us, in cases it can destroy us.
cybermum is offline Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 10:27 PM  
Link to this Post
#26
Andybear
Imagineer
 
Andybear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 12
Location: Hertfordshire
I'm firmly with the OP here. I haven't spoken to my mother for several years and have no intention of ever doing so again. My sister can do no wrong, I can do no right, that's the way it's always been. Loads of people pointed it out to her but she wouldn't listen. The rest of my family aren't talking to me because of it. But I have peace of mind.

Edited at 10:30 PM.
Andybear is offline Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 10:36 PM  
Link to this Post
#27
EssexSue
VIP Dibber

 
EssexSue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 09
Location: South West Essex
Mobile

This is such a sad thread.
EssexSue is online now Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 10:43 PM  
Link to this Post
#28
3disneykids
Imagineer
 
3disneykids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 18
Location: Yorkshire
Originally Posted by cybermum View Post
Sorry but this is easy to say without knowing the finer details.
My mother found out where I was and continued her onslaught, sending me funeral cards on my birthday, writing abusive letters to the neighbours etc
Writing me letters saying how she wishes she had got rid of me, didn't love me.
She didn't track me down out of love, but for her own ends of mental abuse.
Some of us never had it to start with. My Dad died and it broke my world. But he loved me and I him.
I tried so hard for 30 years to win her love but when she started affecting my childrens wellbeing it was the final straw.
So with the greatest respect I say its not always the blood that binds us, in cases it can destroy us.
Sorry to read this , a lot of people haven't been exposed to or learnt about this sort of behaviour so it is very difficult for people to understand why a family member particularly a mother would not have a 'normal' motherly bond with their children.
Sending hugs xx
3disneykids is offline Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 10:50 PM  
Link to this Post
#29
may
Apprentice Imagineer
 
Join Date: Jul 04

may's Reviews
Hotel Reviews: 10
Mobile

If I'm honest I think it's a confusing thread. The OP asked how her address might have been accessed and was given a range of unsolicited opinions about whether she should be receptive to a parental attempt at reconciliation that may or may not be occurring. Someone who pointed out that this was problematic had her input referred to as 'pussyfooted' and a perfectly innocuous comment was pronounced to be ' personal' perhaps leading to a withdrawal from the Dibb? I think we may all be suffering from P E T , Post Electoral Tension and I'm prescribing myself an early night. 🙂
may is offline Girl Mouse Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Old 13 Dec 19, 11:09 PM  
Link to this Post
#30
Guest
Guest
 
Look try not to let this upset you too much before Christmas, I know it's easily said. There's lots of well meaning advice here but that doesn't mean you have to take it.

I remember your past posts about the toxic and unfair releationship you two have from the past when almost to a man we advised you to remove yourself from her orbit (if I didn't I was thinking).

For your own well being I think that's probably the way for you to continue for the time being.

I agree with others, send it back.

Edited at 12:28 AM.
Click to view Members Trip Plans Add Member to Ignore List
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:14 AM.


Powered by vBulletin - Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
DIBB Savings
AttractionTickets.com

Get £10 off each Disney Ticket with the code ATDIBB10

Get up to £50 off per room at Disney or Universal with the code DIBBHOTELS


theDIBB Blog
One of the the five worlds found in Epic Universe, How to Train Your Dragon... Read More »
Disney announced that a new nighttime show, “Disney Dreams That Soar,” will run nightly at... Read More »
Walt Disney World Resort guests can get ready to have a “glowing’’ good time when... Read More »


theDIBB Menu


Exchange Rates
US Dollar Rates
ASDA  $1.2354
CaxtonFX  $1.2311
Covent Garden FX  $1.2500
FAIRFX  $1.2365
John Lewis  $1.2398
M&S  $1.2191
Sainsburys  $1.2354
TESCO  $1.2364
Travelex  $1.2361
Updated: 09:00 29/03/2024
Euro Rates
ASDA  €1.1447
CaxtonFX  €1.1421
Covent Garden FX  €1.1530
FAIRFX  €1.1468
John Lewis  €1.1477
M&S  €1.1289
Sainsburys  €1.1440
TESCO  €1.1445
Travelex  €1.1469
Updated: 09:00 29/03/2024

DIBB Premium Membership
Did you know you can help support theDIBB with Premium Membership?

Check out this link for more information and benefits, such as...

"No adverts on theDIBB Forums"

Upgrade Now



X