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Old 11 Sep 17, 10:52 AM  
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Floridatilly
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Mobile What would you do - money issues

A bit of background, I am very organised with money, have different accounts for holidays, Christmas, spends & bills.
Christmas money is spoken for as we have 3 children, if I take money out if that then they have less and it's already tight (It needs more yet)
Holiday fund is still short for next year, this years holiday cost more than anticipated due to $ and costs increases.
I usually have a little extra aside for any unexpected costs than come up which they have this month:
Scary amount of birthdays - my friends, her sons, my niece, my nephew, my step niece is 18, my other nephew is 18, my best friends daughter is 21 😱
It's also mine and my husbands birthday but we don't get each other anything.
My daughter has 2 dance exams, needs tap shoes for the exam and hair appointments for both exams £150
My son is going on a school trip the balance of £150 needs paying this week.
So basically we will be on beans on toast or omletes until my husband gets paid at the end of the month. BUT...
My step niece is now organising a meal for this Friday and I just can not afford to pay for a meal out on top of her birthday gift (money)
Only found out about the meal on Friday and because I said I can't afford it I am getting untold grief.
So I can get the money but it will have to come out of my savings but that's already not got enough in it, we do not go out as we save up so we can have quality time on holiday.
But now I feel terrible and guilty.
I can't tell my mum because she will insist on paying which I will not accept as she is on her own so needs to look after her money.
Should I just go and eat less for a month to keep the piece?
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Old 11 Sep 17, 10:56 AM  
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floridasgirl
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Nope, in your current situation i would not be going.
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Old 11 Sep 17, 10:56 AM  
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Mallky555
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I wouldn't go to the meal to be honest we've had to do this a few times and I certainly have never had any grief of relatives etc for saying we can't afford it x
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Old 11 Sep 17, 10:59 AM  
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No one would force me to go anywhere I had already made my mind up to pass on.
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Old 11 Sep 17, 11:02 AM  
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ERICSMUM
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I don't understand why you are getting grief. If you don't have the money how can you afford it ? Another option is to use the money you've put aside for her birthday and buy her a small token present only.

If she will make things awkward for you if you don't go to the meal AND give her a decent present, then she's a spoilt little madam. She needs to see that your DH and children have to come first.
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Old 11 Sep 17, 11:03 AM  
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grottyrotty
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Really difficult one for you. But your niece has been unfair springing this in you with short notice.

No. I wouldn't stretch myself to go for the meal.

Good luck

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Old 11 Sep 17, 11:03 AM  
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Excited6910
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No I wouldn't be going either. You've already said no and that should be good enough for everyone. I've never had grief for saying no either, they probably talk about it between them but no one has said anything to me and I wouldn't take it kindly if they did.

I have 3 kids too. A holiday looming, christmas, my DDs birthday My Ds' birthday and a huge party (he's never had one before) all to pay for. I also have to learn to drive and thats gonna cost a pretty penny.

Every Cent, dime, pound and penny is accounted for.
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Old 11 Sep 17, 11:06 AM  
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MK_club1987
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I wouldn't go, you know your money and you know if you can or can't afford it, if you can't afford it then I wouldn't feel guilty about missing it, especially as it's been sprung on you such short notice.
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Old 11 Sep 17, 11:07 AM  
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hipthehippo
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I've been there... I wouldn't go and have had to turn down plenty of things because I couldn't afford it. It feels really crappy, but stick it out - peer pressure is a horrible thing! In the long run, you're looking after your family and that's what's important.
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Old 11 Sep 17, 11:15 AM  
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Florida virgin
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I wouldn't go no - if you can't afford it you can't afford it simple as.

You have had an expensive month and money doesn't grow on trees. You won't enjoy it you go as you will be looking at prices etc and won't relax. Just be honest and say you can't afford it this month.
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