Anyone for a Joke thread - need a laugh….

[disney332]

I’ll kick off………..

I asked the clerk in the toy shop where the Terminator action figures were ...

She said "Aisle B, back".

Disney332

[Dino Rach]

As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer

[disney332]

I made a ventriloquist's dummy out of some old carpet.

It's ruggish...

Disney332

[MOUSEMARSH]

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.

[MOUSEMARSH]

The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

[Mr Tom Morrow]

If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?

[disney332]

Got an email telling me how to read maps backwards.

Turns out it's spam.

Disney332

[disney332]

A girl with a lisp pays a visit to her doctor complaining of shortage of breath.

The doctor gets his stethoscope out and says to her "Right, big breaths" She says, "Yeth and I'm only thixteen

Disney332

[Labboy]

If you buy an electric car will you need a current license

[disney332]

I told my wife she’d drawn her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

Disney332