Going to make a will today.

[P&S]

My son & daughter are both the beneficiary's of my will and they are the executors, they are both in their 30's though.

[amy56]

Originally Posted by Smilesonfaces

So sorry to hear you haven’t been able to fulfil your mums wishes. This is exactly the scenario we want to avoid. I do hope you manage to arrange something soon.

I admit though that I still haven’t buried my mums ashes. She passed away right at the beginning of the first lockdown. The cremation plot has been purchased and the stone made. I just can’t part with her yet. She left no will and always just told me to do what I wanted, not helpful really !

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Thank you ❤️ I think my stepdad feels the same about my mums ashes, and that’s why I’m leaving it for now. Mums will did say she wanted scattering with my grandparents and I’ve always known that was the case. It personally doesn’t make any difference to me, as I still lay flowers at my grandparents site and do so for my mum too now.❤️

I just struggle with feeling like my mums wishes need carrying out, including her estate, but I don’t want to remotely fall out with my stepdad or have him feel I am ‘money grabbing’, it’s just hard as my mum was the strong one in our family, and she would have certainly made him sort things out if she’d been here and I feel like I am somehow letting her down by not fighting her corner as it were. 😢

Our situation isn’t helped by the fact my mum told me about everything, but it appears my stepdad was in the dark about things, so it’s caused upset. I can only urge everyone to be clear about their wishes to their loved ones, and leave very clear instructions in your wills if you want specific things to happen, as it can be really hard on those left behind if they interpret things differently. 😢

[DisneyDaffodil]

Originally Posted by meboo

You are correct re being an executor and beneficiary - that’s fine. What you could do is re-copy out your wills when your DD is 18 and just add her in as a executor (it may be possible to have a clause that says she becomes one when she reaches 18 but I am not sure of that). Also you’re correct to get independent witnesses (not beneficiaries )

One executor is legally fine - would only become an issue if something happened to your executor, which is why people often have a replacement. You say ‘we’ so I assume you are a couple ? You could have your son and your partner as executors for now (or partner as substitute ). As you each do a will, you would each appoint the other as executor. If your wills are the same (apart from executors) they are called ‘mirror wills’

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Sorry to jump on the thread but this could be relevant to the op as well.

We made wills a few years ago through my husbands union. We just named our eldest son as executor but he currently lives overseas plus our other children are both adults now too so we want to make all three executors instead of just the eldest as it would be easier for them if the eldest son was delayed returning to the UK or had to go back before probate was granted

If we did as you suggested and rewrote the wills, would we need to notify the solicitors who made the original will? It was an online firm arranged through the union. We have copies of the original wills so would the new ones simply replace these without having to involve the solicitors?

[sotagals]

A new will automatically invalidates any previous ones and you don't need to inform anyone.

OP , my advice would be to make sure that you don't specifically name a solicitor as an executor .

If you have your children as executors they can then appoint any firm of solicitors they like on a fixed quote if they require any help getting probate etc.

Just to make things easier and less expensive all round.

[meboo]

[QUOTE=
If we did as you suggested and rewrote the wills, would we need to notify the solicitors who made the original will? It was an online firm arranged through the union. We have copies of the original wills so would the new ones simply replace these without having to involve the solicitors?[/QUOTE]

It would be a good time to check that you are completely happy with everything in your will - especially if your financial circumstances have changed since you made them. However you can literally re-write your will whenever you like - there is not formal process of registering it (unlike the LPA which has to be registered )

There will be guides online and precedent forms can usually be picked up from the Post Office or WHSmith etc. You need to make sure you understand who can witness your signature (eg not a beneficiary). It’s also useful to tell your executors that you are doing this and tell then where to find the will.

However if you are sure the only thing you need amending is the executors then,yes, copy it out and update the info you want.

[disney332]

Originally Posted by Colette-S

Yes we did health and finance. It’s fairly straightforward but quite time consuming but once it’s done you have peace of mind. They were a godsend for me and I didn’t realise how important they were when we originally did them a few years ago

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By contrast, we have done financial only. We did these ourselves, as it was £82 x 2. The solicitor wanted £1,500 😳😳

Having had first hand experience of health matters with my mother, I reached the conclusion that the health takes care of itself, via the NHS. The only decision that an attorney would need to make would be end of life and resuscitation, which we are happy to leave to the discretion of the NHS.

Decisions like this are made daily and a good example is covid.

Disney332

[Colette-S]

Originally Posted by disney332

By contrast, we have done financial only. We did these ourselves, as it was £82 x 2. The solicitor wanted £1,500 😳😳

Having had first hand experience of health matters with my mother, I reached the conclusion that the health takes care of itself, via the NHS. The only decision that an attorney would need to make would be end of life and resuscitation, which we are happy to leave to the discretion of the NHS.

Decisions like this are made daily and a good example is covid.

Disney332

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I agree and would always accept/follow NHS advice. However, there are circumstances when choices have to be made regarding treatment where the doctors are unable to decide and the patient may not have the capacity to make the decision.
We decided to do them together and happened to face a situation described above and having that document made it far more straightforward

[meboo]

Originally Posted by disney332

By contrast, we have done financial only. We did these ourselves, as it was £82 x 2. The solicitor wanted £1,500 😳😳

Having had first hand experience of health matters with my mother, I reached the conclusion that the health takes care of itself, via the NHS. The only decision that an attorney would need to make would be end of life and resuscitation, which we are happy to leave to the discretion of the NHS.

Decisions like this are made daily and a good example is covid.

Disney332

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Please think carefully about this. We did not do health for a relative due to family strife at the time. We hoped we would never need it, but it soon became clear that we would. By then it was too late, due to dementia. When a care home was eventually required, the relative effectively went in to the 'care' of social services. As a family we could not make any decisions about the home, her welfare or medical treatment without the approval of SS. Had we got a health and welfare LPA, it would have been entirely down to the attorney. Of course it may not be dementia - it could be a stroke, an accident requiring rehabilitation, anything really. Just bear in mind that the health and welfare is not just about end of life. And, just like in everything, you get good social services/NHS departments and bad ones. We learned the hard way.

[megaflyer]

Originally Posted by meboo

Please think carefully about this. We did not do health for a relative due to family strife at the time. We hoped we would never need it, but it soon became clear that we would. By then it was too late, due to dementia. When a care home was eventually required, the relative effectively went in to the 'care' of social services. As a family we could not make any decisions about the home, her welfare or medical treatment without the approval of SS. Had we got a health and welfare LPA, it would have been entirely down to the attorney. Of course it may not be dementia - it could be a stroke, an accident requiring rehabilitation, anything really. Just bear in mind that the health and welfare is not just about end of life. And, just like in everything, you get good social services/NHS departments and bad ones. We learned the hard way.

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Very true and you don't know how valuable a good one written by a solicitor is until you need it - and many of us and/or our families will. Unfortunately growing old and/or dying isn't always text book straightforward ! I am glad I both have mine written and lodges with our family lawyer with my will like all my family members.

[WhereIBelong]

Originally Posted by Colette-S

I agree and would always accept/follow NHS advice. However, there are circumstances when choices have to be made regarding treatment where the doctors are unable to decide and the patient may not have the capacity to make the decision.
We decided to do them together and happened to face a situation described above and having that document made it far more straightforward

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Totally agree... MIL has dementia... the choices are actually given when you have POA.

They were sending appointments by text to a mobile phone that she had lost the capacity to use in that way until DH told them he had the health POA and to do all appointments via him/his brother. No POA, then they cannot share info under patient confidentiality. Life is easier with it.