Missed education... UPDATE PG 2 :)

[alibeau]

Hi,

I am jumping the gun a little here but just trying to glean some info... this could be a longun!

DD2 is in Yr 11. She was in school full time and doing very well (excellent predicted grades etc) up until Dec 2019. Not to go over old ground but we had a family tragedy in Apr 2019 which finally caught up with her in the Dec.

Since then due to Covid lock downs, severe anxiety and other health issues she has missed many weeks and months of school and was finally 'signed off' school completely in Sept 2021. Lots of her year group have missed chunks of schooling due to covid along the way...

Her CAMHS therapist has just started talking about her return to some kind of education be it part time, limited subjects etc but its at a tricky point as she should have been sitting her GCSE's in 2022 (Covid permitting).

CAMHS have loosely mentioned a number of options but the main one her therapist mentioned this week was resitting Yr 11, possibly at a new school. DD's current school is great but DD definitely struggled with being 'that girl' (who experienced tragedy) and is the type of child who just wants to blend in. So the idea of starting at a new school appeals but she is uneasy about explaining to her peers why she would be a year older than them (CAMHS therapist said to lie! but this does not sit well with DD!).

Other options mentioned but no idea if they are possible or not were, home tutor to help her catch up, attending a smaller school for kids unable to return to main stream school, being given her predicted grades regardless of whether she ends up taking the exams or not (can't see how she would be able to sit them given the education she has missed)...

I would just like to have a better understanding of what would/could happen in this situation just in case her CAMHS contact tries to encourage her down a particular route when there may be other options open to her iyswim.

Thanks in advance,

Ali x

[BevS97]

I think it’s not unusual to resist year 11. I know one of my daughters friends moved to a new school and redid the year.

I think it would be enough to say she hadn’t done very well due to missing school. With covid I don’t think many kids will really question that.


I know the smaller schools can be very good with anxious pupils but I’d see if you can take a look around and see how it feels. Pupils could have a variety of issues.

[Lola]

It could be worth contacting your local FE college as the environment would be different to a school and she wouldn’t be a ‘new girl’. Ages all vary too so no reason need be given

[meboo]

I agree with BevS97 - I think after covid so many pupils have struggled and so it would be less likely to cause a stir if the broad 'covid' explanation was used. The other thing is, my DD has had a group of good friends all the way through high school but I am always amazed at how little they know about each other - eg if one is on holiday they don't seem to know or care where, my DD preferred not to share a bereavement with her friends. They just seem to connect on a more superficial and 'of the moment' level. It may be that it does not really get raised as an issue - they will likely just assume she is a similar age. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you well

[Twin mummy]

How much of Year 10 has she completed? I'd be worried that she wouldn't be able to make up 2 years in one year (well 2 terms really) of Year 11. If she has done a lot of Year 10 you need to make sure it's the same syllabus/ exam boards as the content could be totally different.

[DFussy]

My husband’s niece stopped attending school yr10. She returned to education at a sixth form college. She’s been working at gosh for a few years after and now about to be 23 considering going to uni. Good luck to your dd whatever she decides.

[levtweeney]

Resitting the year would be the best option for me. It allows her to start her GCSE work again from the beginning without (or a lot less) the trauma and the mental conflict she suffered last year.

Every year we have one or two pupils coming in to year 10 as a resit. They invariably settle in very well. In our school the kids are pretty amazing really, especially going in to year 10. They are starting to mature and develop a much more accepting nature and I’ve honestly yet to see an issue caused because of dropping down a year.

I get your daughters concern but give it a couple of weeks and she will be flying 💕

Oh and I don’t think lying is the best way forward. If any one does ask, and I don’t think they will but if they do just be honest and you will be surprised how kind and accepting most kids will be.

[Posiesmum]

Many FE colleges have pre 16 units for students who, for whatever reason, have missed lessons/left school before. Although your daughter may be a bit older, this would provide a very supportive environment for her and allow her to sit GCSEs at her own pace.

[Bee happy]

I don't have any advice sorry but also have similar concerns about my son also year 11, he has also missed a tremendous amount of school and has struggled immensely with his mental health as a result of the past couple of years. He used to be so happy go lucky and massively into sports playing for 3 rugby teams. Lockdown and no sports affected him then when he could finally play rugby he broke ankle in football during first PE lesson back in school, he then got covid and has since been diagnosed with long covid, after ankle healed went back to rugby and broke coller bone 😮
He has lost all motivation and barley gets up for school, he sleeps most of the day. I'm so worried about his GCSEs and what the future holds for him. It's frightening how all this has affected our children 😢

[DisneyDaffodil]

How does your daughter feel about moving to another school Ali? Would it be a relief for her to make a fresh start or would she miss current friends and feel anxiety over starting afresh? I think this is the main question as, although resitting the year would be the better option, if it causes too much stress for your DD then it may not be the right choice for her.

I can understand that your DD wouldn’t want to lie about being a year older, or explain the situation to a new group of peers. Would she prefer to say she was resitting due to having to miss school because of covid or even saying she’s been unwell so had to miss school? Maybe not full details, just keep it vague and dismissive.

My DD had health issues when she was a couple of years younger than your DD so missed a lot of school. She kept up her studies to a really good standard through a combination of home schooling, work sent home by her school and a home tutor provided by the LEA twice a week. It wasn’t ideal but she worked really hard and somehow managed to complete her GCSEs and the A levels to a high standard and is now in her third year in uni. Hopefully, you can find the right combination for your DD. It could be a combination of different things, as it was for our DD 💞