Paying for adult children?

[*jovi_girl*]

Where to draw the line...

I have paid for my daughter in full for next year, she’ll be 20 and my boys will be 16 and 14.

I’ve told her she has to take her own spending money because I won’t be giving her anything but unsure what to do about paying for meals.

Would others in my position pay for all her meals? Or ask her to maybe pay for 1 or 2 family meals?
Don’t really want her to have to pay for all her own meals.

What’s reasonable.

She’s a student, will be in second year of uni but she works too.

[floridasgirl]

If shes still living at home and you would pay for her meals at home i don't really see why you wouldn't on holiday.
Think if she was earning a good wage working full time that would be a bit different.

[dizzymcfarlane]

I’d ask her to pay for a couple of meals for everyone.

[JudeB]

Our DD is 19 and is coming with us next year again to Florida. She will have finished her 2nd year in uni and has a part-time job teaching piano. We won't ask her to pay for any meals - just her own spending money.

[coggie]

It depends on your financial situation to be honest but as she is at Uni I'd probably pay for everything bar her own spending money. However if you feel the need that she should contribute in some way then maybe set an amount in dollars for her to give the two youngest for spending money

[*jovi_girl*]

Originally Posted by floridasgirl

If shes still living at home and you would pay for her meals at home i don't really see why you wouldn't on holiday.
Think if she was earning a good wage working full time that would be a bit different.

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She doesn’t live at home. She’s off at uni and pays for everything herself

[Mel49]

When we went the last time as a family my son had been at Uni for 2 years with a part time job but was living at home and paying digs. As it was potentially our last "family holiday" we paid for him, his tickets and his meals(his digs covered this really) but he paid his spending money. He also treated us to a meal and bribed his DS and DB to go on bigger rides at $10 a time which ended up costing him a fortune in Build a Dinosaur!

We may go next year and if him and his GF come we will cover accomodation and car but will expect them to cover flights, park tickets and spending money depending on if he is still living at home or not. He is now 23 and graduating today so will hopefully be in full time employment soon so would expect him mostly to pay his own way.

As others have said it depends on the financial situation. If she lives at home and pays digs I would not expect her to pay for meals but would hope she treated you to a few. If nothing was said before the holiday was booked I would pay this time but at some point mention that if you go in the future as a family you will be expecting her to pay her way. Also would you be happy going away without her if she decided she could not afford it or did not want to spend her money on a family holiday as you have to consider this too.

[floridasgirl]

Originally Posted by *jovi_girl*

She doesn’t live at home. She’s off at uni and pays for everything herself

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I still counted myself as living at home though when i was at Uni! I hadnt left home, i was just living away from home.
If finances allowed i would still pay for her as i would feel obligated to.

[Cloverlady]

Our middle son is at uni and we said years ago whilst our kids were in full time education we would pay in full for their holidays, we will just ask him to provide his own spending money. He has a job which he does in the holidays and at weekends when his workload or placement commitments permit.

It depends on your own stance on this, on how you feel she should contribute though, I know it's difficult

Our eldest son works (and left education earlier than we would have liked but that's another story! ) so he does contribute at least half or 3/4 of the cost of his own holiday, sometimes more, plus provides his own spending money, as it is his decision to not study.

When our youngest goes to uni, again whilst he is in full time education we will pay apart from spending money as he will be expected to get a job for the holidays too. This is how we always said we would do it.

[Saratoska]

can you afford to pay for her? if you can then I would pay for her meals