marriage - why?

[PIGLET38]

Wow there’s some interesting thoughts and comments. I married my 3rd husband 3 and a half years ago - his 3rd marriage too! My first marriage lasted 12 years of putting up with an abusive alcoholic, my 2nd marriage lasted 11 years (the father of my son). I have been with my DH for 6 and a half years and can honestly say he’s the person I’m meant to be with and we both only wish we’d met each other years ago. We both went into our previous marriages thinking they would be forever but unfortunately not everyone gets the fairytale first time or even second time - I am very envious of all of you that did. However sometimes it does take some of us a few goes to meet ‘our one’ ...

[Scaramouche]

My uncles married for the 3rd time.

First one - they just weren’t meant to be, had a child together but it wasn’t going to work.
Second one - absolute nut job of a woman!
Third engagement - repeat of number two.
Third marriage - perfect. They’ve been together something like 15 years now and this is definitely it.

[sparklegirl]

Originally Posted by shirley

Omg, that is bizarre! Obviously doesn't rea3 takes the vows seriously x

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Thats a wee bit mean, it takes two people to make vows stand. I will never advocate for someone to stick in a marriage that is abusive or unhealthy simply because of a vow taken. I have been married once before and I meant my vows with all my heart but after ten years my husband at that time cheated on me with a friend and decided he did not want to be with me. I didnt break my vow but the end result was still divorce. I am married again to a wonderful man and I am very happy but having seen things fall apart in the blink of an eye I will never say never to anything any more. If the couple are happy then who cares. Life is way too short to be alone if you dont want to be so I wont judge anyone for doing what they believe makes them happy at the time.

And its not doing the same thing over again when its with a different person. Each relationship is different so expecting a different outcome is entirely reasonable i think

[Mickeys Mrs]

Wow some people are harsh!

My mum has been married three times.

1st husband - Father of my siblings, walked out on her and left her in tons of debt
2nd husband - My father - Turned out to be an abusive <insert word of choice here> and tried to strangle her on several occasions.
3rd Long Term Partner - Passed away at just 69 the love her life, ultimately saved her from marriage number 2).
3rd husband - A very quiet affair, got married in a registry office and then disappeared on honeymoon and didn't tell anyone tell she was back.

My mum has had some real back luck and awful husbands.

I was very lucky to have found my soul mate early and have been together for 18 years, married for 13, HOWEVER I do not know what the future holds and what the many years I hopefully have ahead of me will throw my way.

I don't think you should be judging as I have always believed "you never know what goes on behind closed doors".

[duchy]

Originally Posted by Pumpkin Pie

The OP didn’t say this man was a friend - she said it was someone she and her friend knew.

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So gossiping about acquaintances is OK ?

[vowels]

Optimistic romantic?

Doesn't believe in sex outside marriage?

Happier as a couple?

[duchy]

Originally Posted by vowels

Optimistic romantic?

Doesn't believe in sex outside marriage?

Happier as a couple?

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Or just his significant other wants them to marry and even if he feels ambivalent about marriage as an institution and doesn't feel the need understands she wants the emotional and or financial security of marriage ?
The time divorces take to go through it's hardly like he's bouncing from one marriage to another anyway ... even if it was anyone else's business than the couples !
This thread brings to mind that immortal phrase from Bridget Jones, the "smug marrieds".

[tka]

Wow - is his name Ross Geller?

All jokes aside - If this guy is just someone you know and NOT a friend, then what he does is really nobody else's business.

All the best to the happy couple I'd say!

[Megandllsmum]

Some of the comments on here have made me glad I've never dipped my toe into the waters of marriage, although committed to my partner and we've been together a long time, way we view things is if it ain't broken no need to fix it... We plod on as we are happilly living "over the brush" as my nanna would've said and its fine, I had relationships before meeting my OH one serious but one I never wish to repeat again and maybe that's made me cautious I don't know, but each to their own, there are reasons marriages break up or it could well be because of the death of a loved one, and someone found happiness again. I know people have been happilly married to their childhood sweetheart, people who were together for years then got married and divorced within a year, people who just don't want to marry, I could go on lots of reasons why we do or why we don't stay with "the one"

[disney_l81]

I'm wife number 3, my hubby married number 1 very young (18) and it didn't last, number 2 cheated, that lasted about 6 years, I've been with him 17 years, and happily married to him for 13 of those years. He always says he wishes he had met me first. There are all kinds of reasons why things dont work out, as long as they're happy I say.