Funerals and not having one

[Dawnfletch]

I've told my DH I don't want a funeral or a wake. I said all I want is for my body to be taken to the crematorium ASAP be cremated. Then pick my ashes up & to be scattered at a beach. I want my DH & DS to have the money they would spend on a funeral. My dad has signed to have his body donated to medical science. I totally agree with him. People will remember you at different times.

[THE WIZARD]

Told my DH, cremo for who ever wants to come but no service just a word of goodbye, great life n my fave music played. Spend as little as possible on something I cant appreciate. Nothing afterwards, just everyone get on with life.

[mrs rcch]

Lost my Mum 4 weeks ago now, and we are a very small family. Before she passed, she said she didn’t want a full blown funeral, nothing fancy, something simple, as long as she’s scattered with Dad she would be happy.
I opted for an “unattended” funeral, exactly the same as a normal funeral, except there’s no service. We, hubby and I, were able to say our last goodbyes outside the crematorium, and then she was carried in to the chapel.
All very dignified, and exactly what she wanted.

[Button17]

I don't plan on being at my own funeral. I hate looking at coffins so Ibwill be dumped at the crematorium (my husband jokes about putting me in the back of an estate car, opening the boot and driving off quickly under cover of darkness, leaving me at the crem) and the my family will have a memorial service in my church. This also saves £££s.

I also want people to wear comfy clothes, whatever they want without judgement from others. I don't do formal clothes myself, unless I have to, ie, weddings and funerals. I feel uncomfortable. So jeans, PJs, whatever.

[YorkshireT]

I’m having this I think- a few thousand for the family to spend on a really cracking meal to remember me by sounds a better way to spend the money to me with the thousands left over going in the estate to them.
It’s usually the attendees who pay for the funeral.

[BevS97]

Originally Posted by Talland 2016

My Dad hated funeral services and he had planned a family only short cremation service followed by a service of celebration and thanksgiving at church
It felt strange having the cream bit then another service, the vicar gave a lovely service talking about Dads life and there were lots of laughs during it
We then had an afternoon tea in the church hall
Although a sad day it was lovely for Dad
My Mum is planning the same

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My MIL died last year. We had a very small family only ceremony at the crem, followed by a longer service in a church which was very full. And then the wake at the golf club where they had been members for 60+ years.

I wasn’t sure about two services but it worked well.

[sassysar]

We are at a funeral today
Basic coffin , one car only for coffin and no speakers fees as family member doing a service
5.3 K thankfully insurance was in place for 3.3 due to funeral plan
It’s made me think about putting a plan in place for 2 mums and a dad that we would end up paying for .
I’m happy with direct cremation hate funerals and don’t want one ,
though I will let my husband do what he is happy with
People think spending money on a funeral proves how much you love them
50 a letter for flowers today ( 5 in name ) and also a spray for the top of coffin that are driving ten miles then chucked . Stick a bottle of gin on top of mine !

[ChrisS]

Originally Posted by sassysar

We are at a funeral today
Basic coffin , one car only for coffin and no speakers fees as family member doing a service
5.3 K thankfully insurance was in place for 3.3 due to funeral plan
It’s made me think about putting a plan in place for 2 mums and a dad that we would end up paying for .
I’m happy with direct cremation hate funerals and don’t want one ,
though I will let my husband do what he is happy with
People think spending money on a funeral proves how much you love them
50 a letter for flowers today ( 5 in name ) and also a spray for the top of coffin that are driving ten miles then chucked . Stick a bottle of gin on top of mine !

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Dad's undertaker minimal inclusion costs were, IMHO, expensive at circa £6k, pre-paid - bode collected from home, thoroughly disinfected due to C-19, placed in black body bag, transfered to transit van and taken to Freeman Hospital, Newcastle. Day of humanist service, hearse, one display of flowers atop his coffin, no cars, no undertaker speech. Ashes left in urn at crem garden of remembrance.

Looked into simple cremation c£1k costings, bar home collection (an additional £250) and the small flower display, most of the above is in the plan, can't help but feel my parents were well overcharged.

[EssexSue]

Originally Posted by ChrisS

Dad's undertaker minimal inclusion costs were, IMHO, expensive at circa £6k, pre-paid - bode collected from home, thoroughly disinfected due to C-19, placed in black body bag, transfered to transit van and taken to Freeman Hospital, Newcastle. Day of humanist service, hearse, one display of flowers atop his coffin, no cars, no undertaker speech. Ashes left in urn at crem garden of remembrance.

Looked into simple cremation c£1k costings, bar home collection (an additional £250) and the small flower display, most of the above is in the plan, can't help but feel my parents were well overcharged.

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That certainly seems expensive Chris. We paid less that for all of our more traditional funerals, not of course counting the hotel wake afterwards. Do you think they charged more because of Covid?

[Posiesmum]

I wonder if undertakers hike up prices when they know a funeral plan is in place. My mother’s private cremation (no guests or ceremony) came to about £1300.