Attending funerals (or not)?

[mickey house]

A rather controversial subject to some family members, but if a relative such as an aunt or uncle passes away who I haven't seen in decades, or I was never overly close to, then I will send flowers but I don't attend their funeral. Some family members think this is wrong and if they are a reasonably close relative (such as an aunt or uncle), then I should attend out of respect.

I am not in need of reassurance, so feel free to give your honest opinion (I won't sulk), so what's your take on this?

[Guest]

Truthfully, I wouldn't attend a funeral unless the person was significant to me, or had a positive influence on my life; either as an adult or as a child.
In respect of a family member such as an aunt or uncle, I think it would depend on my relationship with them as a child, and how much of an impact/influence they had on that part of my life, as well as my adult life. Not having seem them in decades wouldn't necessarily stop me attending if they had impacted my life for the better.

I feel like I'm waffling but hopefully that made sense!

[EssexSue]

Well I would not send flowers, lots of people prefer donations.
I'd probably attend, (if reasonable distance) we have had some fantastic family reunions at funerals.

[Guest]

Personally I would attend. I attended a distant aunts funeral a few years ago, just to please my dad.
I don’t really see the harm in going really.

[archibald]

I tend to go for the living, rather than for the dead. If you being there will help other attendees then you should go.

[Guest]

I think it depends on the distance, if it was local then I probably would, I really don't handle funerals well(who does) and sometimes my sons and my husband would just go.

[mickey house]

Originally Posted by iLaura

Truthfully, I wouldn't attend a funeral unless the person was significant to me, or had a positive influence on my life; either as an adult or as a child.
In respect of a family member such as an aunt or uncle, I think it would depend on my relationship with them as a child, and how much of an impact/influence they had on that part of my life, as well as my adult life. Not having seem them in decades wouldn't necessarily stop me attending if they had impacted my life for the better.

I feel like I'm waffling but hopefully that made sense!

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I agree with you because even if I hadn't seen a relative in years, but they were good to me years ago and had a positive impact on my life then I would definitely attend.

[Floridatilly]

That’s a difficult one to answer. My personal feelings on the matter are that I would attend a funeral to show my respect and pray for them. If I have not seen them in decades then I am unsure if I would attended. Depends on the reason why I had not seen them.
I have not seen my uncle for years and years but I love him dearly and would attend his funeral.
However I would not attend the funeral of my uncle by marriage on my dads side.
I would also attend a funeral for moral support, so if my mum needed me for emotional support I would attend.
Hope I am making sense.
Basically would depend how close I was/am to that person. Or if I wanted to go and support a loved one.

[Blue nose]

Originally Posted by iLaura

Truthfully, I wouldn't attend a funeral unless the person was significant to me, or had a positive influence on my life; either as an adult or as a child.
In respect of a family member such as an aunt or uncle, I think it would depend on my relationship with them as a child, and how much of an impact/influence they had on that part of my life, as well as my adult life. Not having seem them in decades wouldn't necessarily stop me attending if they had impacted my life for the better.

I feel like I'm waffling but hopefully that made sense!

See more...

This.

Distance with age my have drawn us apart but if key to my childhood I'd 100% be there.

If they were not a part of my life then or now I'd send a card to the family but skip the funeral.

Recently lost a parent and I didn't feel bad on cousins that didn't make it x

[JudgeJ26]

The only funeral I have ever attended was my father's last year. My paternal grandparents passed away when I was little and I never went to the funerals. When my maternal grandparents passed away my children were very little and it was decided no young children were invited. As my other close relatives are now getting older I may attend as support to the family. My job involves working with the elderly and when they have passed away I have been asked to attend the funeral. I always politely decline as I like to remember the person as they were.