DS (18) relationship WWYD

[Tinks2014]

Having 4 and they are all grown up I’ve had my share of the ups and downs of teenage love. It’s so difficult because you never want to see your child in pain. Keeping lines of communication open is key. At that age they have to learn how to deal with situations when it comes to all kinds of relationships. Does he have a sibling he could talk to ? My daughter found it easier to talk to her sister. It wasn’t that she couldn’t talk to me she found her sister has a different way of communicating.
I didn’t have the experience of social media compared to her sister .
It’s so true you do worry more the older they get .
Being a parent is forever and there is nothing better ..

[Princess Ariel]

Originally Posted by Tinks2014

Having 4 and they are all grown up I’ve had my share of the ups and downs of teenage love. It’s so difficult because you never want to see your child in pain. Keeping lines of communication open is key. At that age they have to learn how to deal with situations when it comes to all kinds of relationships. Does he have a sibling he could talk to ? My daughter found it easier to talk to her sister. It wasn’t that she couldn’t talk to me she found her sister has a different way of communicating.
I didn’t have the experience of social media compared to her sister .
It’s so true you do worry more the older they get .
Being a parent is forever and there is nothing better ..

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He has an older brother but they aren’t very close anymore, my ex maintained a relationship with my older son who’s now 22 but not this one who’s almost 18 (hope that makes sense) I have no idea why I think it’s because my 18 yo was only 2 when we split so he was more work but this and some other issues with my older son has led to them growing apart a bit.
DS does have an amazing relationship with his step dad (my DH) and myself and he has been talking to me today. He also has some amazing friends who live over the road who are a couple of years older than him, I’ve told him they are welcome to come over if he needs company, I know he’s been talking to them but I just don’t think he’s up to seeing anyone at the moment because he’s still so upset and tearful.

[Tinks2014]

I had this with my children and their father . He always favoured the older ones that hurt the youngest one. Eventually he didn’t bother with any of them. He has no sense of what they have achieved. The oldest one gets married next year and has asked her brother to give her away. Their step dad has been an amazing man and they absolutely think the world of him. When they were working late at midnight when they first started work he would pick them up at all hours . It’s sounds to me that he is working through what is a difficult time. My sons acted differently to break ups compared to my girls. They wouldn’t show how they were feeling and would keep themselves occupied with video games, playing football etc. The girls would watch a sad film eat chocolate cry for a few days then gradually come out of it.

[Leanne1977]

I really feel for you and your son. We are going through the same thing at the moment. My son has just split from his girlfriend of nearly 3 years. She broke up with him on Friday as she wants the full Uni experience and they are at different Unis 2.5 hours apart. He is devastated and heartbroken and has spent many hours in my arms this weekend sobbing his heart out. 💔
Its bloody awful and I feel helpless. Sending you and your son a big hug. ❤

[Princess Ariel]

Originally Posted by Leanne1977

I really feel for you and your son. We are going through the same thing at the moment. My son has just split from his girlfriend of nearly 3 years. She broke up with him on Friday as she wants the full Uni experience and they are at different Unis 2.5 hours apart. He is devastated and heartbroken and has spent many hours in my arms this weekend sobbing his heart out. 💔
Its bloody awful and I feel helpless. Sending you and your son a big hug. ❤

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I’m so sorry, sending you a hug back! it’s so hard when they are hurting isn’t it?

[jackster14]

It. ames you feel completely helpless, as parents we want to remove the pain they are in.

I dread this.

[Vanillapod]

It’s so horrible watching your child in a relationship ship that is so clearly wrong.
We had this with DS and his first proper girlfriend. At first I thought she was nice enough but really not right for him and just looked forward to them breaking up 😬 Sorry, not sorry.
Then it became abundantly clear that she was attention seeking and manipulative and had DS completely wrapped around her little finger. OH and I had a fair few rows because he genuinely wanted to ban him from seeing her but of course that wasn’t going to work.
The relationship was alarmingly intense and he became a completely different person with a really bad attitude.
Anyway, eventually she got bored of him when he started behaving indifferently to her attention seeking (he’d finally recognised it) and ditched him.
He rolls his eyes now at how awful she was. I really wanted him to look back fondly on His first love tbh (it wasn’t real love I don’t think) so it is a bit of a shame.

Basically, hang on in there and just be there when it all goes wrong.

[Princess Ariel]

Thank you so much, I really value all your advice and different perspectives. It’s nice to know I’m not the only parent that’s been through this too! He just came out with us to take the dog for a walk, he’s quiet but okay, we are just trying to be there for him but not get in his nerves by co star my asking if he’s okay.

[TheHughesCrew]

Originally Posted by Princess Ariel

I feel like I struggle more parenting the boys as they’ve got older than when they were little lol 😂

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Oh gosh. This. Nearly 16 and just 14 here. It gets harder and harder.

Big hugs to.you and your son. Its so heartbreaking when they're sad and you can't fix it. Keep talking, it sounds like you're doing everything you can xx

[daisymae]

Originally Posted by Vanillapod

It’s so horrible watching your child in a relationship ship that is so clearly wrong.
We had this with DS and his first proper girlfriend. At first I thought she was nice enough but really not right for him and just looked forward to them breaking up 😬 Sorry, not sorry.
Then it became abundantly clear that she was attention seeking and manipulative and had DS completely wrapped around her little finger. OH and I had a fair few rows because he genuinely wanted to ban him from seeing her but of course that wasn’t going to work.
The relationship was alarmingly intense and he became a completely different person with a really bad attitude.
Anyway, eventually she got bored of him when he started behaving indifferently to her attention seeking (he’d finally recognised it) and ditched him.
He rolls his eyes now at how awful she was. I really wanted him to look back fondly on His first love tbh (it wasn’t real love I don’t think) so it is a bit of a shame.

Basically, hang on in there and just be there when it all goes wrong.

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Wow this is my son’s exact story including Dh reaction. Ds eventually realised it was unhealthy and split up with her. He suffers from anxiety and my mum’s death triggered a full blown meltdown so he went to counselling and he obviously let everything out and realised that this was a very coercive relationship and he never looked back even though she tried to contact him several times. He now has a lovely girlfriend whom we get on with very well.
OP you can only be there for him to listen to and give him a big hug when he needs it. He will get through it in time.