To those with teenagers

[captain-codeye]

Dd 14 is just starting to spend more time in her room, it’s my fault as I made it too good for her! She has an art room connected to her bedroom😂

She actually has no tv, I keep asking but she says her computer is fine and can stream everything on that.

Ds 7 is with me now watching simpsons, he hates to be alone, I know it will end😭

[Fluffypenguin]

I think it’s just one of those things, we as people need our space and our alone time as we get to our teens and adulthood. Usually a teen is at school/college/work all day, when they come home I think it’s normal that they might want some alone time away from people as they have probably been overloaded by social interaction all day and that can be hard.

I also found, that as I got to be a teen/young adult, I didn’t feel like I could have “alone time” ’in front of my mum, if that makes sense?
So with my partner I feel like I can relax fully in his company and I don’t need “alone time”’ away from him because he is my safe space where I can totally relax and switch off. But as I got to my teen and adult years, I stopped feeling like that with my mum, so I needed to be in my room alone to de stress and have alone time. With my mum, I still felt like I was having that social interaction if I was around her, so going off to my room (my safe space) made me happy and relaxed.

I don’t know if I’ve explained myself very well, but I guess what I’m trying to say is, it is normal. I love visiting my mum, going on shopping trips with her and little holidays too, but I couldn’t spend all my time with her.

[fefifoe]

2 Teens here and both like that - just part and parcel of the teen life now .
my son - 17 pops through a few times a day and sits for a bit with us - the 13 year old needs dragged out her room.
We did xmas movies each night in the run up to xmas and they did both come through every night for that and in the run up to a Disney hol my son and I spend a lot of time together watching vlogs and I really appreciate those times.

[Jaspercat10]

I have 4 teens 13-18 they come and go, generally coming down when hungry and then disappearing back off to their rooms, they are on their phones, gaming, 2 of them assure me they are revising for mocks. Sometimes it annoys me but I have almost resigned myself to the fact that there is not a lot else to do at the moment, I can drag them round some muddy fields with the dog but there is not a lot else to do as we are in Tier 4
2 are down here laying by the fire watching the crown with me, but that's because it is almost dinner time :-) x

[Floridatilly]

My older two are 17 & 14 and its a real mix of pestering us and being in their rooms.
On a normal week they are both really busy almost every night with ballet, boxing & rugby. So when its half term etc they do chill out in their bedrooms but soon get bored and start pestering us 🤣
Meal times are really important as we all sit at the table, chatting with no TV or gadgets. Plus Saturday night is family movie night 👍🏻

[magickate]

Nearly 15year old is always in her room. She'll come do stuff if I say so, got her out for a dog walk earlier, but unless I asked her she wouldn't come out at all.

[Mikeandrach]

Originally Posted by Donz1979

My son is 9 and we hardly see him, he is always playing fortnite

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He is 9. You need to be the one in charge at this age not him. I let my son play it but not for hours on end, to say you hardly see him is a bit of a shock to me at that age tbh

[Snowball24]

Yep it seems normal, those who manage a family movie night how do you do it? Do they want to or do you have to force it?

[babbymint]

I have boys 14 and 16. The older one is in him room most of the time- but he comes down regularly for food! The younger one enjoys being with me and will often sit with me or let me help him with homework, even get him out for a walk every now and then. Both enjoyed going round to nans for Xmas dinner yesterday though - last time for a while as now gone to tier 4...

[Melbatb]

My DD16 is out 5-6h a day training so spends a lot of time with us when actually home unless she has lots of homework to do. She cooks, bakes, plays games, yesterday she did a jigsaw with DH. She does retreat to her room if she is tired to watch Netflix though.

DS19 has just come back from university. He only finished his exams on Tuesday and this is the first downtime he has had since September. He comes out and chats and always eats with us but is also chatting to his friends and just chilling. He also has a job at his university that he does remotely so is still working on that.

I think teens do spend time in their rooms. You can’t force older teens to do what they don’t want to do! My DS has lived independently for the last 4 months in another country and it is unrealistic to expect him to suddenly become a child again.