Stressed and can’t deal with everything

[Floridatilly]

Moving is one of the most stressful things one can do so don’t be hard on yourself.
You say the house is further away? Does that mean the children will have to move schools and move away from their friends? That could cause a lot of extra stress for them which ends up as stress for you.
Your husband loves this new house but do you? Do your children? I understand you want your husband to be happy but don’t rush into something as big as moving house unless you are 100% happy (happy wife, happy life &#128540
But seriously I think think you need to put the holidays to one side for a moment, in the grand scheme of things they are an holiday nothing more but to uproot your family is a big thing! Neighbours, family, friends, school, commute to work etc
Many of us could live in a bigger house in a different area but does that area work for you?
You and your children’s happiness is just as important as your husbands. X x

[NewtoOrlando]

Wow. That’s a lot to process!

4 cruises?! Why does he need to have 4 cruises booked? Regardless of the finances involved, with a Florida holiday aswell that is a lot of holidays (and I’m normally one who has several booked at once)

I think you need to sit down and talk to him, how do your kids feel about moving schools? Especially so soon? I know mine wouldn’t be happy at all! Plus, you sound like you are only accepting the house love to keep your husband happy.

Sit back, take a deep breath and think about what YOU want and what’s right for your you and the family, big decisions have to be be 100% happy on all parts!

[LadyFromage]

We saw a new build on a whim (lived in a 2bed flat) no plans to move but 2.5 months later our mortgage was sorted and we moved into a 3 bedroom townhouse.

In the middle of this we went on holiday to Dubai, it was the worst holiday ever as we wanted to be at home sorting things out! but it was booked months before all the house stuff kicked off.

We moved to an area we didn’t know, moved both our girls schools and haven’t looked back.

[Floridatilly]

Originally Posted by Floridatilly

Moving is one of the most stressful things one can do so don’t be hard on yourself.
You say the house is further away? Does that mean the children will have to move schools and move away from their friends? That could cause a lot of extra stress for them which ends up as stress for you.
Your husband loves this new house but do you? Do your children? I understand you want your husband to be happy but don’t rush into something as big as moving house unless you are 100% happy (happy wife, happy life &#128540
But seriously I think think you need to put the holidays to one side for a moment, in the grand scheme of things they are an holiday nothing more but to uproot your family is a big thing! Neighbours, family, friends, school, commute to work etc
Many of us could live in a bigger house in a different area but does that area work for you?
You and your children’s happiness is just as important as your husbands. X x

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I have just read my post and it’s sounds like I am having a go at your husband. Sorry, I don’t mean it that way at all. Just that the whole family needs to be excited and committed to the move not just your husband (if that makes sense)

[3disneykids]

I do think a move to a forever home would be more sensible now than when the children are older which is something to consider. I moved my DD in year 4 and she was devastated. She has settled in nicely now but if I could go back my change would have been done when they were younger.

[Trusty ian]

Originally Posted by mitch84

Crikey! An £11k holiday and 4 cruises and living in a 2 bed house that needs work?
Can you pare the Florida holiday right back? Stay offsite and save some pennies maybe?
I’d certainly look at the cost of cancelling some of the cruises too. How much were the deposits?
Honestly i’d go on one holiday, not 5, and find a house that you both like in a more convenient area

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That was my thought too!
Crikey is the word I was using too.
If you have that much money for hols and cruises, think yourself lucky to be in this position. But all this going on would have my head in a spin. I would try canceling the cruises and concentrate on house move and florida

[Mexy02]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

The area is good. Schools got good ratings. House is nice. What I asked for but I feel that It’s far away. I have s shopping outlet 10mins down his parents and sister are less than a mile away. We have to move eventually I know that but I feel like we are just settled. Kids happy about moving schools. They are 3&4 so quite easy going and I suppose the younger we more the better.

Only paid deposits on the cruises so far. The ones this year aren’t in school holidays now as apparently where we move to it’s got different holidays to us. The Florida one was during school. Luckily I don’t get charged. Next year will be in school holidays though I’ve checked.

I like the mums I talk to on school run and I like the teachers. Feel like we starting all over again and I don’t like change.

Reason he booked lots of holidays as we have been abroad once in nearly 11years. We are just into a position where we can look at taking kids to different place and there were some really good offers I thought. Especially for the 2020 once. If all else fails will have to lose deposits.

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How far are you from your friends and family if you move ?

Just think of the money you could pay off your mortgage instead of the cruises

[Andybear]

Originally Posted by vampiress88

The area is good. Schools got good ratings. House is nice. What I asked for but I feel that It’s far away. I have s shopping outlet 10mins down his parents and sister are less than a mile away. We have to move eventually I know that but I feel like we are just settled. Kids happy about moving schools. They are 3&4 so quite easy going and I suppose the younger we more the better.

Only paid deposits on the cruises so far. The ones this year aren’t in school holidays now as apparently where we move to it’s got different holidays to us. The Florida one was during school. Luckily I don’t get charged. Next year will be in school holidays though I’ve checked.

I like the mums I talk to on school run and I like the teachers. Feel like we starting all over again and I don’t like change.

Reason he booked lots of holidays as we have been abroad once in nearly 11years. We are just into a position where we can look at taking kids to different place and there were some really good offers I thought. Especially for the 2020 once. If all else fails will have to lose deposits.

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First World problems re: the 5 holidays. I didn’t go on holiday at all for 10 years after splitting with my ex hubby. For a few years after that I did a couple of short UK breaks with friends. After 15 years I finally went abroad for a week. I certainly wouldn’t have booked 5 holidays because (1) I wouldn’t have been able to afford it. (2) I wouldn’t have been able to have that much time off work and (3) you can get too much of a good thing.

Just think of all the people who can’t go on holiday at all, whether for health, financial or other reasons.

You really are very lucky.

As regards the house move, definitely don't rush into it. You and hubby need to sit down and have a good chat about it all. Marriage should be an equal partnership and you deserve an equal say in it.

[Kd0758]

If that is stressing you out I would never buy a new build, especially on top of everything else.

There’s so much to consider not just financially (is flooring/turf included, having to get curtains/blinds that fit it, solicitors fees etc) but also mentally (snagging issues to deal with, moving in general, how complete is the development as it can be seriously noisy and dusty etc) it would be way too much to deal with!

We spent probably close to £10k on top of the price of our new build on things that you don’t have to consider when buying a pre-owned house and that isn’t including the stamp duty.

[Col&Ali]

There was a thread a while back where the OP was worried about the Florida holiday costing £11k and I got my head snapped off for suggesting they cut back a bit. The OP has also expressed concern about her work situation and health. Since then 4 cruises and a possible new house purchase have occurred!

I think the OP and husband seriously needs to consider their plans, be honest with each other look at why they feel the need for such extreme planning.

*ducks for cover*