Parental Help - 16 year old son - Updated Post #138

[Guest]

I would really value your opinion please ... have had massive row with 16 year old DS and feeling horrid ...

It's a bit long but I would really appreciate your views please.

Last night. DS asked if he could go round his friends house in Chelmsford last night. When I started questioning him, he went off in a strop, slammed the door and refused to talk about it.

He asked again in the morning, and I said we would talk about it tonight...

I said show me the text from his friend Jon ... when he showed me the text, I noticed it said Larry at the top ... when I started scrolling up, before he snatched it from me, I noticed it said something about having a Chinese, it also said "however long you want to stay for" - when I questioned why it said Larry he clicked on Jon's phone number and then Larry had changed to Jon.

Anyway, after he stropped off again with my questioning ... apparently no other parents do this! I went up to his room and asked if he was gay ... I knew he was lying about Jon... I then found out it was a girl.

After dinner, another huge row erupted, I found out that Jon is Lara ... I think he lied as he said that he had already met her 6 weeks ago and that she goes to a neighbouring school.

Meanwhile eldest DS signals to talk to me in the kitchen, he said DS has never met Lara and that he plays a game called CS with her.

DS has said that we wants to catch a bus to a neighbouring town 45 mins away - meet her and go to her house. Her mum will bring him home after dinner about 7.00pm.

Am I being completely paranoid ... I work in a school and have watched the recent awful films at the youngsters that have been groomed and killed, in assembly this week. I have made DS watch these and he says he's not an idiot ...

Had another row, and DS said he hates DH and myself and has stormed off upstairs again.

[Danielle24]

Offer to take him over? That would be the only way I would feel comfortable about it.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Danielle24

Offer to take him over? That would be the only way I would feel comfortable about it.

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I suggested that and he said no.

Lara also does not have Facebook and is on no social media apart from Instagram.

[Hels80]

Oh my. I've also watched all those videos. Breck Bednar in particular upset me so much. The internet is a wonderful, terrifying place.
Would it be possible for you to invite 'Lara' to yours? Or let them meet at a neutral place, with you watching close by?
I really feel for you. So hard!

[Tink Tina]

Hi sorry didn't want to read and run.

I would say if it doesn't feel right and you're not comfortable then tell your DS no, OK he'll kick off but it does sound a bit dodgy.

It's so hard with teenagers as you don't necessary get to meet their friends or know the parents.

[Excited6910]

After you've offered to take him to make sure you're comfortable with things and he's refused then I'm afraid it would be a hell no from me. You've given him the opportunity and he turned it down. Why? Is there something he's hiding? Im dreading this stage with my kids. Good luck x

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Hels80

Oh my. I've also watched all those videos. Breck Bednar in particular upset me so much. The internet is a wonderful, terrifying place.
Would it be possible for you to invite 'Lara' to yours? Or let them meet at a neutral place, with you watching close by?
I really feel for you. So hard!

See more...

Breck was so sad ...

I suggested that he meets her in town and I would watch to make sure she was real - he is in such a strop about it, this was rejected also.

[Mexy02]

Follow your instincts , if it doesnt feel right it probably isn't. Would he open up to your eldest ds to find out more?

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Tink Tina

Hi sorry didn't want to read and run.

I would say if it doesn't feel right and you're not comfortable then tell your DS no, OK he'll kick off but it does sound a bit dodgy.

It's so hard with teenagers as you don't necessary get to meet their friends or know the parents.

See more...

Thanks - it's just so hard!

He's adamant that he's going ... he doesn't have any money - unless, he's been saving his lunch money ... if he storms out tomorrow - we are going to follow the bus...

Eldest DS is also worried and saying that we shouldn't let him go.

[mumx3]

Originally Posted by Parent1

I suggested that and he said no.

Lara also does not have Facebook and is on no social media apart from Instagram.

See more...

If he won't let you take him over then I'm sorry I wouldn't be letting him go.

Very unusual that the girl isn't on social media aswell?