So lonley

[macdonald]

So sorry to hear this Margaret,but at 59 you still have a LOT of living!...How about looking for a part time job,you will then meet new people, dont sit around and be upset because thats not what your husband would have wanted!..Get out even if you have to push yourself ,sit in a park,start talking to people,maybe even a dog?..given time things will get easier and you WILL smile again xx

[Hammerstone]

My advice would be to try and remain/get active with exercise. There are plenty of walking/jogging groups out there (beginners 2 runners, couch 2 5k etc) which would provide you a new community of people to interact with. Even doing parkrun is good as thats a good focal point for things, and you don't even really need to run it either as quite a lot of particular older/more unfit people walk it. The endorphins released from exercise might help, plus if you have goals to work to it will give you some purpose

[THE WIZARD]

MM it's still such early days for you & I do so understand but the fact you are actively looking for things to do is a really good sign. I personally spent the first few months in total grief with our dog very evening just sitting crying to exhaustion so I could get some sleep, my only release.
The library is an excellent place to find 'activities' locally. My first foray into the world was being taken to a Salsa class for singles with a friend who wanted to go. I went reluctantly but actually laughed for the first time in months when a poor man fell over trying to do a turn. The activity was so exhausting I slept well for the first time!
Have you thought of volunteer walking at a local dog rescue? Not sure where you are in London but Battersea Animal Rescue used to ask for volunteers.

[Clare]

Margaret, I feel for you and appreciate how hard it is to lose your soul mate.

My Dad passed away in June, we knew it was coming but it didn't make it any easier. Mum's lost her soul mate of 58 years.

Initially she couldn't cope and I really started to get very concerned. She joined a new WI group and went on the committee, this really became a life saver for her. She also commenced bereavement counselling in November and this has also helped significantly. Sometimes she'll just get on the bus to our local town to be 'around' people rather than sitting indoors. She has found this helps too.

Everyone is different and handles grief differently, there is no right or wrong. xx

[lfc_sarah]

I can't possibly begin to relate to what you're going through right now. Just the biggest virtual hug.

However, saying that, what I can relate to, is the loneliness. My husband goes away for 6-8 months at a time and it really is a massive slap in the face when he's not here. I can't go out on an evening due to having a young daughter in bed but what I do is Facetime friends. They are all over the country but it really feels like they are there if that makes sense.
Also I love crafting and even folding the washing with a film on, anything really to keep myself busy. The worst thing you can do is, nothing.

If you don't have many friends who you can facetime and fancy a virtual one with me, I would be very happy to be a friend x

[Lindaelaine]

Originally Posted by lfc_sarah

I can't possibly begin to relate to what you're going through right now. Just the biggest virtual hug.

However, saying that, what I can relate to, is the loneliness. My husband goes away for 6-8 months at a time and it really is a massive slap in the face when he's not here. I can't go out on an evening due to having a young daughter in bed but what I do is Facetime friends. They are all over the country but it really feels like they are there if that makes sense.
Also I love crafting and even folding the washing with a film on, anything really to keep myself busy. The worst thing you can do is, nothing.

If you don't have many friends who you can facetime and fancy a virtual one with me, I would be very happy to be a friend x

See more...

What a lovely gesture, that is so kind of you x

[holidaysaver75]

So sorry to hear you’re struggling. My father in law found volunteering a lifeline. He does Meals on Wheels and also volunteers at a charity shop. My aunt has filled her time with Crown Green Bowling. There are lots of others in the group who have lost their other halves and they’ve become a real community.

[Mqt]

So sorry Margaret. I can’t relate myself but my mum had a terrible time when we lost my dad. She wouldn’t even reach out for any help, so what you are doing is amazing. You are acknowledging your feelings and that’s a good starting point. I pushed my mum into contacting Cruse, which helps bereaved people and they were great, offering lots of practical suggestions and even getting her to join a local group. She was glad she had done it.

When I subsequently volunteered for the Samaritans, Cruse was an organisation which seemed consistently helpful. Nowadays though there are so many groups and forums online you can join, even if it’s just to chat virtually with others in similar situations and to get advice on what has helped them at different stages of their grief.

Taking the first steps is often difficult but at least you can find what works for you and discount what doesn’t.

[MrsBC]

What about volunteering at a local charity shop, you can choose which days to work and you do meet lots of people - and chat to so many more.

[sasperella]

From one Margaret to another I feel your pain. My husband died 2008😢 I was 55.
I used to get great waves of sadness(overwhelming) As time goes by it ?subsides?
?you learn to live with it. I was lucky had my DD, DS still living at home at the time.
Have you got a dog? I found ours a great comfort, used to talk to him and he seemed to know I needed his attention. Not for everyone I know.😊
Sending lots of hugs.🥰