DS involved in fight outside of school - don’t know what to do - update post #35

[welshmum]

Hi everyone.

I have been awake all night with worry and don’t know what to do and was hoping for a bit of advice.

On Monday, my youngest daughter messaged me whilst I was in work to say that she had been told by a child in her year (year 7) that children throughout various years (year 7-year 11) in the school were planning on jumping my son (year 11) after school. This has stemmed from my son getting involved in a bullying incident between his girlfriends brother and the bully (yes stupid I know and I don’t know what he was thinking)

My daughter was getting really worked up in school and went to tell the head of year. My son was brought into the room to be made aware of this and the school advised my son not to worry as they knew the children planning this. The school at no point contacted me to inform me of this.

However, my daughter and son text me to tell me it’s all been sorted and nothing to worry about.

I picked my daughters up after school, my son decided to walk home, as he usually does with his girlfriend.

About 3.45pm, he arrives home and tells me that the planned attack went ahead and he ended up in a fight with a year 11 child (one on one). The boy threw the first few punches but luckily, my son is able to defend himself and planted some punches back on the boy who then retreated.

As kids do, all of this was recorded.

The video now seems to have gone viral in my area and I have had this boys family, and the boys friends family find me on Facebook and message me nothing but abuse and threats. All of these families are well known in the area for being intimidating and threatening.

They have told me they are going to the police, which is fine because I have evidence this attack was planned and I will also be contacting the school today.

I really don’t know what else to do because ‘they all know where I live’ and ‘my son has messed with the wrong families’

I’m petrified of sending any of children to school today because I am not able to pick them up from school today so really considering keeping them home with their grandfather.

I feel physically sick and can’t believe this is happening, I’ve never experienced anything like this before.

My son never gets in trouble but it seems he has caused all of this by getting involved in something that was really none of his business to get involved with.

[mushumadness]

You make the first move
You contact the police and tell them about the threats you have written proof
Show them the video
Tell them your scared for your safety
And take it from there
And be forceful very forceful about needing attention now
I have been there

[mushumadness]

And then you go to the school who should have realised that this would happen and play holy hell

[ClaireNJ]

I’ve no words I’m absolutely fuming for you all
My son had a similar thing at school although I found out about it & the school were very good
I thought your sons school said they’ll sort it yet the attack still went ahead and at no time did they contact you either
I’d maybe contact the Police as well, although I’m not sure they’ll get involved
If it was my son I’d make sure he went to school today
Stand up to bullies
Good luck
Sending lots of love ❤️
Xxx

[marypoppins38]

I would keep your kids home today but contact the school first thing to tell them why and that you have had threatening messages abd are worried for yours and their safety. Then contact the police and tell them the same thing. Tell them you have prof of the messages snd you are being threatened.
I would be just as worried as you. Hope you get it sorted x

[Scaramouche]

Originally Posted by mushumadness

You make the first move
You contact the police and tell them about the threats you have written proof
Show them the video
Tell them your scared for your safety
And take it from there
And be forceful very forceful about needing attention now
I have been there

See more...

This for me.

These types of families can live up to their threats. Kids home, contact police and school immediately. I’d be going mental at the school as well for not bloody telling you!

[Twin mummy]

Screen shot and log all the messages and contact the police making it clear you feel threatened and intimidated.
Contact school and explain how the situation has escalated and ask how they can ensure the safety of your children.
Is there anyway anyone can get the children to and from school- even early or late?

I actually think your son has been a good friend- I’m guessing he stood up for his girlfriends brother against a bully? So I certainly wouldn’t frame it as ‘he started it’ or ‘his fault’.

Hope that it blows over soon, they sound vile.

[lfc_sarah]

Rubbish situation but well done to your son standing up for himself. I hate bullies!

[mason1]

As has been said before, report to the police and take screen shots of the abusive messages. I’d also report to the social media companies as well.

As for school, you need to report the incident first thing. Although it happened off school grounds, schools should take action. I’d be demanding that the perpetrator is dealt with as per the school’s behaviour policy, and you want assurances that your children are safe both at school and to and from school as well - schools have a safeguarding responsibility. I’d also want to talk to the designated safeguarding lead in the school.

[Princesa]

Don’t reply to the messages but take screenshots and contact the police. Also get in touch with the school and let them know that you’re not happy with how they dealt with it, and how they plan to deal with a bully who has organised an attack. If you see any videos of the attack, get a screen recording. Especially if it’s on Snapchat/IG stories etc as these will disappear. I know your son probably doesn’t want to do this? But he’s the one likely to see them and he needs to gather them for evidence. Even the people recording should be chased up.