Teenage Daughters

[Pumpkin Pie]

I am always surprised at how much parents nowadays treat their 15/16 years olds (and older) as children and should wear what their parents say.

Most of us that are older on here left school at that age and we're working full time. I lived in mini skirts and my parents didn't blink an eyelid.

[klr15]

Originally Posted by Pumpkin Pie

I am always surprised at how much parents nowadays treat their 15/16 years olds (and older) as children and should wear what their parents say.

Most of us that are older on here left school at that age and we're working full time. I lived in mini skirts and my parents didn't blink an eyelid.

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I agree, people say that children are growing up quicker nowadays but I don’t believe that, they may have more insight into the world through social media, but I wouldn’t say they are more grown up at all.

At 15 I’d say let her choose her own holiday clothes, most adults wear stuff on holiday that they’d never dream of wearing at home.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by princess allie

... you want them to look halfway decent.

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Having seen some of the stuff my kids friends wear I'd settle for it if it was on the right side of "indecent" never mind halfway decent

[duchy]

If anything I would say that in many ways parents seem to restrict their kids more nowadays. I see posts from parents worrying about leaving their twenty year olds home alone, worrying about them getting a bus or a train alone for the first time at fifteen or sixteen .
My parents were considered old fashioned and over protective (they were older parents) but I was getting the bus to school at 11 , had a Saturday job from 12, (I do remember massive arguments over shoes rather than clothes ... platform shoes lol) and at seventeen I had my first job travelling into London every day. At fourteen and fifteen my Dad used to rant and rave about my "tarty" fashion. In reality compared to some of my peers I dressed on the conservative side (for a teenager) but they genuinely couldn't see the difference . With hindsight some of it was probably trying to hang onto the little girl rather than the young woman I was becoming , too fast for them.

Maybe see if you can get a conversation going about where SHE sees the line between fashionable and tarty ... so shorter shorts may be OK but butt hanging out isn't, Bardot tops are OK but boobs hanging out aren't for example. Playsuits do seem to be a good compromise ... there are some lovely ones around. As for shouting Dads ... often that is resistance to their little girls growing up and Mum is the buffer between the two stances.

Originally Posted by klr15

I agree, people say that children are growing up quicker nowadays but I don’t believe that, they may have more insight into the world through social media, but I wouldn’t say they are more grown up at all.

At 15 I’d say let her choose her own holiday clothes, most adults wear stuff on holiday that they’d never dream of wearing at home.

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[Guest]

My Dd is nearly 14 and all legs, she wears whatever she chooses (including a dress she's had from 9) and I let her, with one rule, if it's above mid thigh she wears shorts underneath!

There are worse things she could be doing than expressing herself thru clothes, it really is a case of picking your battles and there is usually a compromise to be had somewhere.

Gone are the days where baggy jeans and long jumpers were the dress code lol xxx

[floridasgirl]

What does your dh expect her to wear?!
I know no daddy wants his baby growing up but so long as its age appropriate i think you've got to give them some slack.
My dd is 14 and has a beautiful figure, i wish i could wear the clothes she gets away with!
Im not overkeen on the very tight fitting short dresses but i don't think they look nice on anyone, whatever the age and figure!
I agree about playsuits and shorts.

[DisneyDaffodil]

My DD is 17, she wears short skirts and tight tops. She looks gorgeous in them, she doesn't wear crop tops or plunging necklines, so her clothes are 'decent' but reveal her lovely figure. I wish I could wear them and look that good 😀

Seriously, I think she is just dressing as many other young girls do and although you may not like her style, there are worse things she could do than wear a short skirt. I would leave her to find her own style.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by duchy

As for shouting Dads ... often that is resistance to their little girls growing up and Mum is the buffer between the two stances.

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This is well said, and is the crux of the OPs post rather than what she wants her daughter to wear.

Being the buffer is always really hard, especially when, like the OP you can see it from both perspectives.

OP we have this teen/dad difference of opinion in our house around tidying of rooms. It is difficult to be the buffer because whatever I say will be wrong with someone. It is really hard especially when appealed to by both to take sides.

For my part I am trying to be neutral. It could be seen as "abdicating parental responsibility" (as you can see it's something I have discussed before ) - it could also be seen as allowing two other people to resolve their own differences.

Perhaps Dad can take her shopping (and pay?)

[Mel49]

My DD is nearly 12 but I am 51 and try very hard not to be the "typical older mum" who refuses to allow her to wear modern trends. She is also quite tall, curvy and most of her clothers are adults 10/12 and New Look's age 14/15 is the only "kids" clothes that fit.

As long as she is happy and not showing too much skin I don't argue too much. I sometimes suggest alternatives which she agrees to and other times just laughs but overall bit of give and take. I allowed her a few crop tops like her friends and what my DH classes as Hot Pants but her holiday wardrobe is mainly play-suits, vest tops, shorts and few bardot type tops.

I fully expect that by the time she is an actual teenager I will just give her the money to go with her friends to pick clothes for going out/holidays.

You could even try doing a sort of challenge where you both buy a holiday outfit for x amount that meets the dress code required and compare the results.To make it even more fun you could do the same for you. Hopefully you might find that she may even like your choice and agrees to compromise. Good luck

[Twin mummy]

My 15 year old girls are the opposite in that they hate short shorts, skirts etc. In the end they got denim “middle aged women” shorts from Tesco as they were horrified at the tiny shorts in primark etc. Think I’m probably the only mother in the world who wishes their daughters wouldn’t be so conservative.