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Old 17 Mar 18, 06:26 PM  
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#11
beanbunny
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I have been on the receiving end of this kind behaviour twice. Once on my side of the family and once from the in laws. I am amazed at how often it happens and all I would say to the OP is take comfort in the fact that you behaved honourably and in a dignified manner and gave your family member the send off she deserved.
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Old 17 Mar 18, 07:24 PM  
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Bigkitty266
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Sorry for your loss

I have also had this kind of experience, my husband past away 6 years ago, he took his own life, His mum, mums partner, sister, brother in Law and his dad all disowned us (myself and 4 children) basically blamed me for his death "I drove him to it" their words not mine, they were happy to still see the children as long as it didnt involve coming to our house my eldest three were 21yr, 17yr, and 12yr (and the youngest 14mths) but his mum said all these things to them so they decided not to visit again. we had some close friends (or so i thought) who have also seem to have vanished and other than the odd christmas card i don't see them either i sometimes think for the same reasons. Unfortunately his sister also took her own life two years later The brother in law did come to my house and apologized for his behaviour, although we now speak things are strained between us. His mum still has had no contact whatsoever but bizarrely doesn't blame the brother in law for her daughters death that i cannot understand at all

It does leave you thinking who are your friends/family and who are actually there when you need them
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Old 17 Mar 18, 07:27 PM  
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Speaks volumes about the woman you mention. Dreadful behaviour at a funeral. I wouldn't give her the time of day.
You did what was right and should take solace from that.

Edited at 07:28 PM.
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Old 17 Mar 18, 10:45 PM  
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I would say you haven't done anything but stand in the way of her getting everything when your fil dies, what an awful women she is behaving like that, I dare say she wont be as happy in a few months time having to do everything for him. At least as someone else had said you can hold your head up high you've done nothing wrong x
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Old 18 Mar 18, 04:03 PM  
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AnnieB
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Originally Posted by allycat228 View Post
I would say you haven't done anything but stand in the way of her getting everything when your fil dies, what an awful women she is behaving like that, I dare say she wont be as happy in a few months time having to do everything for him. At least as someone else had said you can hold your head up high you've done nothing wrong x
I have to agree - the thought of wills and inheritance came into my head as soon as I read the post saying these people were not around much until there was a funeral to plan.

Sadly, some people are more driven by money than anything else.
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Old 18 Mar 18, 06:33 PM  
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Sounds awful and sorry to hear this, ESIL (no D here) was exactly like this at DMILs funeral, the family thanked the guests in 3 different groups Just be the bigger person as it sounds like you have been
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Old 18 Mar 18, 07:18 PM  
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Hi sorry for your loss.

I am torn here on the one hand Ibagree be the bigger person/s however I think for the sake of your DH that I'd want some answers especially from your FiL therefore I would visit to try and resolve the matter in a calm manner.
I don't think I'd be overly bothered that the SiL hates your Dh but I'd be intrigued to know what your DH had done for her to justify that. I also think that the text received from your BIL us his way of reaching out.
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Old 18 Mar 18, 09:39 PM  
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Originally Posted by Myakka17 View Post
Hi sorry for your loss.

I am torn here on the one hand Ibagree be the bigger person/s however I think for the sake of your DH that I'd want some answers especially from your FiL therefore I would visit to try and resolve the matter in a calm manner.
I don't think I'd be overly bothered that the SiL hates your Dh but I'd be intrigued to know what your DH had done for her to justify that. I also think that the text received from your BIL us his way of reaching out.
DH has tried ringing him, but he won't answer and hasn't rung back. We're just hoping he'll get in touch when she's out of the way and the dust has settled a bit.
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Old 19 Mar 18, 08:06 AM  
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Originally Posted by Gev View Post
DH has tried ringing him, but he won't answer and hasn't rung back. We're just hoping he'll get in touch when she's out of the way and the dust has settled a bit.
Maybe go around - it seem this is the kind of thing that needs sorting in person x
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