What do you this sentence means - cancelled date

[nolypops83]

The fact that you had sex but couldn't stay over would be a big red flag for me. Especially after 2 months of seeing each other. There's more to this situation than he's letting on (possibly he's married or in a long term relationship) but regardless you've had a lucky escape. He sounds like a dick.

[Pink_Fairy_Dust]

Thanks guys, I know I'm being such a wet blanket. I was quite tipsy and a bit emotional Saturday night which I don't think I've mentioned doing a couple of stupid things on reflection like pulling away from his hug towards end of night when he got dressed in pjs er after and didn't want me staying over so wondering if all that made him think shes too emotional and thats whats making me think he was making plans earlier in night with me but by the end hes been secretly thinking god I need to get rid of her or at least he was put off a bit and didn't think I could do casual... think I'll join in Stoptober, not sure why I even decided wine was a good idea as I know it makes me more emotional.
I am trying to believe that he really has just met someone else and that it would have happened anyway...

[DisneyStacey]

Originally Posted by Pink_Fairy_Dust

Thanks guys, I know I'm being such a wet blanket. I was quite tipsy and a bit emotional Saturday night which I don't think I've mentioned doing a couple of stupid things on reflection like pulling away from his hug towards end of night when he got dressed in pjs er after and didn't want me staying over so wondering if all that made him think shes too emotional and thats whats making me think he was making plans earlier in night with me but by the end hes been secretly thinking god I need to get rid of her or at least he was put off a bit and didn't think I could do casual... think I'll join in Stoptober, not sure why I even decided wine was a good idea as I know it makes me more emotional.
I am trying to believe that he really has just met someone else and that it would have happened anyway...

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You are way overthinking and overanalysing this!
Regardless of whether he met someone else or not - WHO CARES?!
He was not mr perfect.
If he makes you feel that insecure, then he was not the one for you.
One day you will meet someone and you will just feel comfortable and at ease and you won’t feel the need to try and unpick everything that is said and done for a hidden meaning because you will both be on the same page.
If you don’t want a casual relationship, why should you be in one just because he does?!
Find someone who actually wants what you want and stop wasting time on losers, you’re so much better than that - but only after you’ve spent sometime alone, with yourself.
YOU DO NOT NEED A RELATIONSHIP TO BE HAPPY!
xxx

[americangal]

Originally Posted by Pink_Fairy_Dust

Thanks guys, I know I'm being such a wet blanket. I was quite tipsy and a bit emotional Saturday night which I don't think I've mentioned doing a couple of stupid things on reflection like pulling away from his hug towards end of night when he got dressed in pjs er after and didn't want me staying over so wondering if all that made him think shes too emotional and thats whats making me think he was making plans earlier in night with me but by the end hes been secretly thinking god I need to get rid of her or at least he was put off a bit and didn't think I could do casual... think I'll join in Stoptober, not sure why I even decided wine was a good idea as I know it makes me more emotional.
I am trying to believe that he really has just met someone else and that it would have happened anyway...

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This is not your fault. Trust me he’s a first class ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈. No matter what happened in Saturday night he was already messaging women waiting for something else to come along. He had no respect for you whatsoever.

I’ve dated men like these and they nearly broke me. Then out the blue my Prince Charming came along. I could instantly tell he was different by his profile alone. After our first date as we’d agreed to see each other again he told me he was suspending his dating account. And true to his word other than to close it down after us being together for a few months he never went on it again or set up another date. 15 months later we are madly in love and he’s restored my faith in men.

You will know when it’s right. It shouldn’t be forced to see each other.

[Pookie3101]

To be honest I would expect a relationship to be exclusive after 2 months unless it was just causal dating. There is nothing wrong with causal dating as long as both parties are happy with it but it sounds like you are wanting a relationship. In this case, he was not the guy for you because you didn’t want the same things. I would take a break for now and work out what you want. You don’t need a relationship to be happy and you need to be happy in yourself first. Don’t blame yourself for everything that goes wrong or doesn’t work out.

You need to be clear of what you want and make that clear to anyone you see. If you want an exclusive relationship, say so. If they don’t then you don’t want the same things and it won’t work.

My partner had been casually dating before he met me. We chatted for several weeks online and video chats before we met. We had got on very well whilst chatting and once we met he asked me to be his girlfriend and we became exclusive. 18 months down the line he has moved nearly 100 miles to be with me and we live together.

[Pink_Fairy_Dust]

I guess it just feels like it matters if he really has met anyone else then at least it hasn't just been me being too full on Sat night thats put him off, though I guess in a way it might have been the deciding factor...oh dear just thought of that but surely not...

I did feel comfortable around him I'm just an insecure person and I always have been, I'm only really unpicking as I was so happy when I was with him so feel devestated and that feeling is always worse for me when I think I have contributed to getting/keeping the thing I really want.

I honestly do know I can be happy without a man but I have been single two and a half years and I would really rather not be. I'm completely over my ex of ten years. Although this guy said that he wasn't sure what he wanted initially and had never said we were official or anything I had felt we would at least continue as we were longer... things were good apart from not being able to stay over and it was more me working around his schedule and activites.

I do want an exclusive relationship but I know guys like to take things slowly sometimes and I thought that was maybe what we were doing as he always said not yet about staying over which made me think he would want to soon...

I know it doesn't make him seem like a nice guy but he honestly was when we were together...

[meboo]

Have you thought about counselling to work on your self esteem ? I have no doubt that he was nice when you were together. But it really does sound like he was being nice to someone else when you were not together. If you are a genuine needy person (as you describe it) then the perfect partner would accept you as you are. You cannot live your life trying to be who you are not and guessing whether something you did or didn’t do suddenly changes someone’s opinion of you. That is why i suggest speaking to someone - work out who you are then work out what you want. A long term relationship cannot work when one person makes all the compromises and ‘acts’ how the other person wants them to be. You will exhaust yourself and you will never be sure they are with you for the real you.

[Melanie R]

I agree with the poster above - the right guy for you will be thrilled that you’re keen and want to spend time with him - and trust me he’ll go out of his way to make that happen!
Please don’t try to change yourself to please someone else - if you have to do that, they aren’t right for you!
Casual flings are fine when both of you are looking for the same thing, but not when 1 wants more commitment - you need to be honest with what you are looking for and don’t settle for less!

[Pink_Fairy_Dust]

It’s annoying he didn’t really explain much beyond what he said about starting seeing someone and we can’t see each other… think that would have helped…..

[DisneyStacey]

Originally Posted by Pink_Fairy_Dust

It’s annoying he didn’t really explain much beyond what he said about starting seeing someone and we can’t see each other… think that would have helped…..

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You would only have tortured yourself over what he said.
I know it’s difficult, but you don’t need to find blame with yourself over why things didn’t work out.
When you find “mr perfect”, you’ll be able to be 100% unapologetically yourself (without needing to worry that you said/did something that may/may not have put him off).