Guests for xmas is a buffet acceptable or am I being mean?

[Baggie Bird]

Originally Posted by snowbelle

Sometimes I am incredulous of posts and the expectations and sheer cheek of families and guests , I have led a sheltered life with a very small family and no family dynamics.

Its your day , not theirs and if it does'nt suit them it's their issue Not yours.


I remember a work colleague taking out a loan to buy Christmas presents as he had been told by his family they would'nt speak to him again if they did'nt get presents , I had never heard anything like it !

See more...

Totally agree with the above, they sound really rude.

What sort of family insists on one of them going into debt to buy presents with threats of not speaking to them again I have stopped buying gifts for some family members who I rarely see and if they have taken offence then tough.

[Rebelrebel]

Give them one of these and show them the kettle

[parisdisneyfan]

I thought my MIL was bad but this takes the biscuit!

For the past few years we have gone away with MIL, Sil and both families - 10 or 11 of us, this is our new tradition. Prior to that MIL and FIL alternated between us and Sil, she never cooked and will not help but we have to accommodate her eating foibles

She gets a free holiday and week with us all so she eats when and what we are doing although obviously I don't plan something that makes her ill. She does moan but we all ignore her and Sil tells her outright what she can do if she doesn't like it.

As someone else said I feel angry on your behalf - do what you always do, buffet is fine and you get to spend more time with your guests (assuming that isn't a bad thing ) If they don't like it then go and dump themselves on some other poor relative!

[Mel49]

You are definitely not being mean but very accomodating when they invited themselves to join you ! Stick to what you normally do and over the next few months keep mentioning that you are doing your traditional Christmas Day Buffet and if they are that bothered they will hopefully uninvite themselves. If not suggest they bring a dessert for everyone, whatever they want to drink and a cooked turkey if they want to eat any on the day.

[Jan]

I agree with everything already said. Good luck. Don’t be pressured into it.

[fefifoe]

100 % agree with everyone else, do not change your plans , if they dont like what you are having then they are free to go elsewhere. x

[mandco]

Thanks for all the replies
I do have a tendency to do things my own way rather than what is maybe expected so wasn't sure if this was one of those times when I should be more accommodating of the norm but it seems not
Its given me the confidence to stick to my plans and not give in.
I'll give them the options I'm happy to do and they can chose which if any they wish to do. Maybe not getting their own way will put them off coming I can hope right?

[duchy]

Although I agree with all of this, I do think whose relative they are has a bearing. If it was my mother it'd be handled differently (or by someone different to be more exact) than if it was my MIL for example.

Originally Posted by mandco

Thanks for all the replies
I do have a tendency to do things my own way rather than what is maybe expected so wasn't sure if this was one of those times when I should be more accommodating of the norm but it seems not
Its given me the confidence to stick to my plans and not give in.
I'll give them the options I'm happy to do and they can chose which if any they wish to do. Maybe not getting their own way will put them off coming I can hope right?

See more...

[mandco]

Originally Posted by duchy

Although I agree with all of this, I do think whose relative they are has a bearing. If it was my mother it'd be handled differently (or by someone different to be more exact) than if it was my MIL for example.

See more...

I know what you mean.
If I had invited them then I would do a xmas dinner as that would be the expectation but as they invited themselves I'll be sticking to doing it my way.

[littlelish0544]

Originally Posted by Rebelrebel

Give them one of these and show them the kettle

See more...

This is the most hilarious thing I have read on the dibb for ages, brilliant!

Is it wrong I am wondering if it is an actual product as I have decided in the last few days I am not hosting Christmas this year!?