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8 Jun 19, 06:56 AM |
#61
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VIP Dibber
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I'm pleased you managed to get a couple of nights away and hope things improve for you. It's really hard with a teenager who is selfish but you need to stand your ground with him. Good luck with everything.
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8 Jun 19, 09:51 AM |
#62
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Excited about Disney
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Sorry but the only person to blame for this is yourself. If you dont do something about him soon he is going to be trouble as an adult.
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8 Jun 19, 10:04 AM |
#63
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Apprentice Imagineer
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You are honestly doing him no favours being so nice. Time for a change of attitude on his side or else he needs to move out.
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8 Jun 19, 10:06 AM |
#64
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Imagineer
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Has his Dad spoken to him about all this ? Might be easier ‘man to man’.
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8 Jun 19, 11:23 AM |
#65
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Very Serious Dibber
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I’m confused you put an 18 yr old In homeless accommodation because he doesn’t pay rent it fo housework? I’m obviously missing some of the replies? Because that is rather harsh!
My two are 23 (yesterday) & 18 (next month) don’t pay rent (I don’t need or want it) or helpmaround the house! Isn’t 18/19/20 the age where ‘the majority’ of teenagers live for free at home when they decide who they are going to become?
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xx Lisa xx DLP Sept 1994 NY, 1998 SF, 2003NPB, 2005 off site, 2008NPB, NYE 2012 Explorers WDW POR August 2013 14 nts WDW POR August 2015 21 nts DLP DCC AUGUST 2016 3nts WDW DVC December 2016 10nts |
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8 Jun 19, 11:38 AM |
#66
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VIP Dibber
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Time for paying rent to you etc and learning what the real world is actually like!
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8 Jun 19, 11:49 AM |
#67
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Imagineer
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As a parent , it is your right to let your children pay/not pay - help/not help around the house. The OP choose different to you.
At 16 I was on a YTS scheme so didn't pay rent but certainly helped around the house. As soon as I got a job I paid my parents rent and continued to pay rent. You are lucky to be in a position where you don't need It, but adults are not cheap and millions of families are in a different position. Again, everyone is different but I agree with the OP. Her son is an adult and therefore should pay his way. |
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8 Jun 19, 11:49 AM |
#68
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Imagineer
Join Date: Jan 11
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8 Jun 19, 11:55 AM |
#69
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Imagineer
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OP - I hope things pick up for you and everything at home improves.
We never asked for financial contributions/housekeeping etc until DDs worked full time. They were expected to keep their rooms tidy (I had to learn to shut the doors sometimes!), change the beds etc and also help out with emptying the dishwasher etc. Now they are both in full time employment things are a bit different - there’s 4 adults in the house all working full time so IMHO we all share the jobs. So we all pitch in with cooking, washing up, dishwasher duties, getting washing going and hung out etc, not just their own but everyone’s (each bedroom has a washbin), putting bins out etc. They don’t proactively do housework but if I asked one of them to put the hoover round they would. They don’t pay a lot of housekeeping but it’s the principle! I do remember when they went to secondary school they both would occasionally forget to take a book or homework in and I’d get a request to drop it in to school at lunchtime - if I did that then they had to pay me back by doing all the lunchboxes for all 4 of us the following day - which tended to concentrate the mind somewhat! Then around the ages of 13-14 they started complaining about lunchbox contents. Fine by me - not done any lunches for anyone since! 😂 Sorry for the essay - but like others have said it’s about setting some rules/boundaries, explaining the reasons and then following through. But pick your battles - if you have a list of rules a mile long you are less likely to get them followed.
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1979 - Contemporary 1988 - Contemporary 1989 - Offsite 1994 - Eurodisney - Hotel Santa Fe 1999 - Offsite 2001 - CBR and Polynesian 2003 - WL and Hard Rock Hotel 2004 - Pop, CSR, RPR, PBH and Contemporary 2006 - DLP - Newport Bay Club 2007 - POR, HRH and Grand Floridian 2008 - ASSp, BCV, VB, RPR, VWL 2010 - OKW, BCV, Pop, HRH, VB, VWL 2013 - AKV, HRH, BCV, VB, VWL |
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8 Jun 19, 12:19 PM |
#70
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Excited about Disney
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I dont think this is about paying rent, not paying rent. Doing dishes not doing dishes. Its about teaching them about standing on there own two feet. Its a big hard world out there when you havent got mummy wiping your bottom any more.
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