Punishment/s for children

[vampiress88]

I am so poorly and I don’t know if I’m over reacting or not.

It’s a 6yr old party today. My 5 and 3 year old are supposed to be going. It’s a trek to get there for us now we live somewhere else and to be honest I really don’t wanna do small talk when I feel like this so not sure if this is what’s clouding my judgement.

My eldest was a pain last night having tantrums and I said unless you book your ideas up your not going. The youngest was good yesterday.

This morning and they start again. Fighting as usually over everything. Things as simple as a bib. I told them they will have two warnings and if I have to tell them a third time then that will be it.

I think I gave them more warnings than two but I am trying as I don’t like them missing out.

They have just gotten dressed into party clothes and got told to tidy up. Eldest has snatched the toys off the littlest and so littlest has retaliated by throwing something that has hit my radiator.

That was the last straw. Sent them to rooms for time out and told them no party.
Your a horrible mummy ruining the party etc is what the eldest is crying now.

I am just so poorly and wish hubby was here to have them so I could just go back to bed.

Hubby says stick to my guns and not take them. I just feel awful that I’m ruining things for them.

[Guest]

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling poorly. Hope you feel more yourself soon.

I think being ill may have impacted how you deal with your kids. I think you would've had to be a saint for it not to. I know when I have been really ill my tolerance levels were just way down. So you have my sympathy.

However, that said, I think I sometimes make a rod for my own back bybgiving warnings and setting consequences and then more warnings and more and not following through on the consequences. So I am trying to make the consequences more reasonable so that I am more likely to follow through.

Do you have a naughty step? Or wall? I used to use them and they worked well, first kid on bottom step, next against wall in dining room, the other against the wall in the lounge (boring view). And me in the kitchen.

I would give them each a glass of milk or squash and me a cup of tea and we would all do timeout until my tea was drunk. Spot of mindfulness for them a rehydrate option as they are vile when thirsty - and tea for me as I can be vile when using my patience.

With regard to the party. It is hard. But if this is the consequence you chose then I would go through with it.

Make them feel grotty and you a bit too it seems from your post, so not nice for anyone. Bit the consequences of not following through may be more challenging.

Chin up, and find a corner for a cup of tea. (((Hugs))) we have all been there!

[Guest]

Ps. You are not the nastiest / cruellest mummy in the world. I have been that since last night when I turned off the WiFi 😄

[EssexSue]

I couldn't make them miss a party but I'm soft like that, plus I think it's harsh on child who's party it is.

[Megandllsmum]

I've learnt over the years if you make a threat to your children and don't follow it though they will use it to their own advantage, I'm with your husband and say stick to your guns... Choice or consequence you told them to behave the consequence being if they didn't they wouldn't go to the party and its nobodies fault but their own. Plus if I felt rubbish last place I'd want to be is with a load of noisy hyper kids at a party... Hope you feel better soon and I realise now I sound a horrible mum lol but my youngest has autism give her an inch sometimes she will want a mile so choice and consequence works in our house 😳

[happytraveller]

I’m probably the wrong person to answer as I avoid those situations like the plague. Nothing worse than being stuck with a room full of parents you have nothing to talk about. It soon descends into who’s child is doing what and I’m really not interested.

I get the feeling you feel guilty as you didn’t want to go anyway rather than anything they did. If you can validate not taking them then don’t. But if you can, avoid letting think they are going in the first place. Good luck whatever you decide and get well soon

[taylaboo]

Sorry you are feeling so poorly. Stick to your guns, no party. They have to learn there are consequences for their actions. Too many kids get away with stuff and never learn and grow up to be awful adults. Hope you feel better soon.

[°o°-Hannah-°o°]

I’ve refused to take one of mine to a party because of their behaviour. As a parent and teacher I firmly believe that you must stick to the consequences you have given them.

[JLH]

I thinking you feeling ill is clouding your judgement and I am another who would let them go , I know you have to stay but at least the children will be entertained for a couple of hours and you can have a brief respite hopefully from squabbling .

[BucksBugsy]

Originally Posted by FamilyGWales

Ps. You are not the nastiest / cruellest mummy in the world. I have been that since last night when I turned off the WiFi 😄

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The ultimate punishment in modern times !