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Unread 18 Jan 20, 12:06 PM  
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xXxSammi88xXx
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Collecting loved ones ashes. Sensitive post

I just wanted to ask a question to see if this is the norm or if im being over sensitive. Yesterday the funeral home called me to say my grans ashes were back and ready to collect so that afternoon i went in and got them.
Brought them home,opened the box and her ashes were dumped in a plastic see through bag. With a piece of paper stuck on top with her cremation number.
I was so upset as i just wasnt expecting it. I presumed there was an urn inside the box as the funeral home didnt ask me about purchasing anything.
Should i have been offered to buy an alternative or is this the norm when you collect ashes? Ive never had to deal with anything like this before so i honestly dont know. I just found the whole thing so upsetting
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Unread 18 Jan 20, 12:09 PM  
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Blue nose
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I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I think I would have been upset too.

They probably expect you to request something but like you I wouldn't know.

I'm sorry for your loss.
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Unread 18 Jan 20, 12:12 PM  
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Vanillapod
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I remember finding this slightly surprising too but I do it believe it to be the norm as thats all Ive ever been presented with since the first occasion.
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Unread 18 Jan 20, 12:13 PM  
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littlelish0544
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Thats awful, i would have been upset too. I have no experience of this, so cant offer advice, but i dont think you are being over sensitive at all. Its a very difficult time, but i wouldve hoped the funeral directors would have experince and professionalism to have advised for this? Judging by previous poster it would seem not, i find this a bit heartless for want of a better word? I am sorry for your loss xx

Edited at 12:16 PM.
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Unread 18 Jan 20, 12:13 PM  
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princess annie
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Im so sorry for your loss and the upset this has caused you. To answer your question, yes it is normal. Thats how we received my MILs ashes.
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Unread 18 Jan 20, 12:13 PM  
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LLamb
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From personal experience the funeral home should of asked if you wanted an urn. When my grandad died we purchased one from them and they came in the urn.
My Nan died at the end of November and we collected her ashes this week.
Same as you in a cardboard box. The difference being that is how we asked for them as we are not sure what we are doing with the ashes yet.
I dont think you are being over sensitive, but it is normal Im afraid.

You can get lots of lovely urns, I think you need to decide if you are going to keep them in a visible place and want something quite decorative. Or you may want an oak box for example that can be buried.

Edited at 12:14 PM.
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Unread 18 Jan 20, 12:14 PM  
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scottlynn
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Agreed having collected 3 lots of ashes last year, they were all in clear bags and then in a box . I too was shocked first time but it seems the norm . We were never asked about an urn and we just didnt think to ask . Sorry for your loss .
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Unread 18 Jan 20, 12:17 PM  
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Emmie2016
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So sorry for your loss and Sorry you had a shock, but it is the norm sadly. They should have gone through the options and you would pay extra for an urn.
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