To those with teenagers

[Taffy1959]

All 4 of ours spent a fair bit of time in their rooms as they got older.
They did eat their meals with us though.
It’s natural for them to want their own space and I think it’s a way of preparing you for when they leave home.

[Lisa123wm]

Our 3 (now 22, 20 and 15) spend a lot of time with us tbh. They always have done.
They do also spend time in their rooms. 15 year old is a gamer and can spend hours gaming in his room, though the last few weeks leading up to Christmas were spent revising for mocks. He will still spend at least 2-3 hours with us each evening as he likes to.
I think we spend a lot of time together as a family and enjoy the fact that we all want to.

[NewtoOrlando]

My 2 are 13 & 15 nearly, they both stay up in their rooms a lot but they’re content and happy, listening to music, gaming, reading (in my eldest case) and generally just chilling out. They do come out for a chat every now and then and we usually watch a film once a week together but I never force them to do stuff they don’t want to, if they’re happy, we’re happy.

[Floridadreams]

I do unfortunately think it’s one of those things! We have ds 16 and dd 12 so the age difference causes issues too. We try to have family nights but they rarely work out. For example, last night we wanted to watch a film together, settled on Midnight Sky as Ds wouldn’t watch a Christmas film. Dd hated it and was bored - sulked off to her bedroom afterwards. We pulled her back with Home Alone but DS wouldn’t watch.
Then tonight we played the card game exploding kittens - a game ds got for Christmas as I thought it might bring us all together. Dd hated it and disappeared as soon as she was allowed. But then today dd and I have watched Elf and ds wouldn’t join us (neither would dh for that matter!)
We’ve decided that family time isn’t really going to happen as they both know their own minds these days and are unwilling to compromise or “waste my time” as they regularly say. We’ve now decided we’ll watch things one or the other enjoys but not force them to join in - their choice. Same with games. Time with either of them is difficult at the moment without trying to entice both out of their rooms!
I think it is a natural progression but it’s difficult to accept 😢

[TheHughesCrew]

Really interesting reading everyone's answers.

My boys are 13 and 14. The eldest spends a lot of time in his room. But if he's chatting to his friends playing, I'm almost more happy than if he's sitting in the lounge just watching YouTube or similar. We have a Man Cave where their xbox is, so I class that as 'downstairs'! He emerges for snacks and drinks from time to time...

We always eat dinner together, and if the football is on, he will watch it with my husband. My younger son tends not to stay in his room, but isn't always sociable either!

I'm trying to come to the conclusion that if they're happy, I'm happy...

We do go out for a walk most days, and I do like them to come with us. Its not too much of a chore to get them to come though, they generally like the fresh air...

[Snowball24]

Thanks all, even with treats mine still wouldnt come down for a movie night , Id have to pay them ha ha.

They seem to come down when I am not expecting it and we have a chat, definately cant force it.

I agree I would not let a 9 year old play games in his room all day, that's way too young !

Lynne

[kzrr02]

DS (18) usually spends most of his time in his room, whether it’s studying, gaming or chatting with his friends. He will come down for dinner or maybe watch a football game with us or mess about with DS (9). On Xmas day, he was down with us for most of the day. We wouldn’t force him to join us though. DS (9) spends most of his time with us, playing FIFA or fortnite but he knows there’s a limit to his gaming. He would occasionally spend some time with DS18 in his room chatting.

[Snowball24]

Interesting point someone says maybe it prepares you for when they leave home as dh and I are spending more and more time together just us

[evergreen]

I have 4 (26 24 17 16) they definitely come back to you as they get older!

[Apricota]

I’ve two 15 year olds. Dd and I just made eclairs and chocolate mousse. Ds helped dad with the fallen fence earlier.
We eat dinner together and have a box set on the go for waft hi go and chat. Generally meal, chat, watch program and are together circa 1.5 hours on a usual evening. They like their own time. Having said that we have done a few movie nights, pool tournament and also one board game.