Biopsy results are in. Update post #79

[Tigger71]

Sending hugs. 💕 I recognise your mum’s behaviour - my mum was the same. She passed away from lungcancer age 60 and she was very self-oriented even before her diagnosis 3 years prior. Always havd been. As with you - I also had a strained relationship and conflicts with her because of this. I really struggled when my mum was diagnosed - on one hand I couldnt comprehend what it would feel like to get such a diagnosis - and I probably would have fear of dying like she had (which I think caused the aggression)- but on the other hand when her friends were trying to show compassion etc she would be nasty and saying they didnt know what it felt like etc and it made me feel appalled and embarrassed. She accused people for all sort of things as soon as they challenged any request. Very exhausting for all - including her.

I hope your mum gets her testresults back soon.

[Princess Ariel]

Thanks everyone, she’s still in hospital at the moment. I spoke to the ward yesterday and they said since she’s been transferred her behaviour has been fine, however they were keeping her in because she wasn’t eating and was nauseous. I did say that the lack of appetite is normal for mum (dad told me when she’s at home all she eats is a trifle and some biscuits in the day) I also told them that she has absolutely no motivation and spends most days in bed (dad also told me she normally goes to bed at 2-3pm in the afternoon and remains there for the rest of the day)
They did say it helps to know that this isn’t out of character for her.
Apparently the gynaecology team saw mum yesterday morning and told her the results are in, they were going to speak with her yesterday atfternoon after their MDT meeting but instead have made an appointment for her and dad tomorrow afternoon. The nurse on the ward told mum they may keep her in hospital until then. It does look as though her care has been transferred back to the gynaecology team which I’m hoping is a positive sign?
I spoke to dad yesterday, it was a difficult conversation and lots of things came out about mum and her behaviour towards dad that I’m really not comfortable with. It was heartbreaking. I have said to my dad that depending on her results and plan forward that I am seriously considering contacting social services in the new year and making a safeguarding referral for him. I believe he is in a controlling and abusive relationship and I need to ensure he is safe. I have been open with him about this as I do not want to do anything behind his back but he’s an old man and it’s not right how he is being treated by my mum.
Hopefully we will have some sort of diagnosis and plan tomorrow 🤞

[amy56]

Originally Posted by Princess Ariel

Thanks everyone, she’s still in hospital at the moment. I spoke to the ward yesterday and they said since she’s been transferred her behaviour has been fine, however they were keeping her in because she wasn’t eating and was nauseous. I did say that the lack of appetite is normal for mum (dad told me when she’s at home all she eats is a trifle and some biscuits in the day) I also told them that she has absolutely no motivation and spends most days in bed (dad also told me she normally goes to bed at 2-3pm in the afternoon and remains there for the rest of the day)
They did say it helps to know that this isn’t out of character for her.
Apparently the gynaecology team saw mum yesterday morning and told her the results are in, they were going to speak with her yesterday atfternoon after their MDT meeting but instead have made an appointment for her and dad tomorrow afternoon. The nurse on the ward told mum they may keep her in hospital until then. It does look as though her care has been transferred back to the gynaecology team which I’m hoping is a positive sign?
I spoke to dad yesterday, it was a difficult conversation and lots of things came out about mum and her behaviour towards dad that I’m really not comfortable with. It was heartbreaking. I have said to my dad that depending on her results and plan forward that I am seriously considering contacting social services in the new year and making a safeguarding referral for him. I believe he is in a controlling and abusive relationship and I need to ensure he is safe. I have been open with him about this as I do not want to do anything behind his back but he’s an old man and it’s not right how he is being treated by my mum.
Hopefully we will have some sort of diagnosis and plan tomorrow 🤞

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I’m so sorry that you having to deal with this on top of everything else - sending big hugs xx

[Tigger71]

My heart goes out to you - must be difficult to deal with that on top. Every parent hope to have such a caring child as yourself. Hope your dad gets the support he needs

[Princess Ariel]

Thank you, there was yet more confusion over results and appointments this morning so I ended up phoning the gynaecology secretary again. I have been told that all results (including the biopsy) are in and have been discussed and mum has an appointment tomorrow afternoon with the gynaeoncology department not the gynaecology department as my dad thought.
The secretary was lovely and said I have his direct line number now and if I need any support or need to speak to a consultant further down the line to not hesitate to contact him.
At least I know now that all results are in and we should know more tomorrow afternoon.

[parisdisneyfan]

Originally Posted by Princess Ariel

Thank you, there was yet more confusion over results and appointments this morning so I ended up phoning the gynaecology secretary again. I have been told that all results (including the biopsy) are in and have been discussed and mum has an appointment tomorrow afternoon with the gynaeoncology department not the gynaecology department as my dad thought.
The secretary was lovely and said I have his direct line number now and if I need any support or need to speak to a consultant further down the line to not hesitate to contact him.
At least I know now that all results are in and we should know more tomorrow afternoon.

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Sending you hugs, whatever the outcome, it will be a difficult time for you and your parents xxxx

[THE WIZARD]

I'm so sorry your having to go thru this, its hard in normal circumstances and life at present isn't normal so my heart goes out to you. I so hope your dad agrees with what your doing as he needs help and men very rarely ask for help they do have to be told they are getting it, so well done you.
I hope things get better when the results are given and the procedure is put in place.

[sophiepop]

So sorry to read this x

[Tigger71]

Sending hugs

[Princess Ariel]

Mum has been to see her consultant this afternoon. It’s not good news. She has been diagnosed with advanced vaginal cancer. She has a very large and inoperable tumour. She has to have further blood tests and a PAP test and a further CT scan because her lymph nodes in her pelvis are enlarged.
She will need intense daily radiotherapy to try and shrink the tumour to improve her quality (and I presume length) of her life. The consultant said they will discuss the prognosis further in the new year. They have referred my dad for further support.
We are all obviously in shock and devastated at the moment.