Minty Missions: Episode XII - A Better Ball Beckons (The Official Trailer)

[JamelUK]

MINTY MISSIONS: EPISODE XII - A BETTER BALL BECKONS
(The Official Trailer)

<Cue Dramatic, Orchestral Music - or, failing that the 12" version of the Smurf Song>

..or for those proper, northern folk who live beyond the M25 orbital, take M6 J29, and just a couple of miles up the M65 into East Lancashire...

...lived two intrepid explorers.

The first went by the name of Melanie.

She spent long hours, days, weeks even, sitting down, in a comfy chair, surrounded by hundreds of subservient minions, doing allegedly clever things with one of these

And, despite the best, collective efforts of George Lucas, JJ Abrams, the creative genius of Industrial, Light & Magic and the mightly wealth of the Disney organisation, that's as exciting as Mel's job gets.

Which is why she dyes her hair red, in a vain attempt to "jazz it up"

Her parter in crime is myself, James...

and the narrator once more for another chapter in the continuing saga of Team Mintball and our travels.

For the uninitiated, or those at the back who haven't been paying attention...

Which means the last 18 months and more has seen me working long hours...

...always on my feet...

...continuously needing to smile...

...and ensuring every guest is greeted with exemplary courtesy and enjoys their day.

[JamelUK]

It isn't always easy and I do wish that I could share some of the numerous guest tales I have with you.

Sadly however I am "contractually encouraged" to keep those details a secret. I do promise though that once I retire I fully intend to write a Mouse Tails type expose, as some of the goings on back stage are hilarious.

I will share a few things with you though.

Whereas Disney might have the "What time is the 3pm parade?" brigade, we also have our top most asked questions.

If I had a £1 for every time I've been asked, with the iconic 512ft structure quite visible just a couple of miles north down the promenade behind me...

..."Where is Blackpool Tower?" we'd not only be flying upper class to Orlando, I'd be getting a quote for a set of wings to rival AirForce 1.

But in addition, it is shocking how many times we also get asked not only how much, but where to find "The Beach". No, not Blackpool Pleasure Beach, but the actual beach...

The one just across the road, on the other side of the promenade, just below the sky.

The days are always fun, if you keep in mind that each and every guest contact is unique and different...

...but can be long.

During the height of season and particularly on half term weekends or special events such as Halloween, the park will open from 10am and remain open until 10pm. As I have to ensure we're ready to welcome guests through the gates in the morning, as well as wait until we get "Park Clear" in the evening, my shift is typically at least an hour before until an hour after the park gates are open.

If it's a busy week when we're expecting high guest numbers, I'll also be working those shifts back to back for several days.

During those days we will wristband a lot of guests. I can't give precise figures but put it this way, I can wrap your wrist with a wristband, with one hand, with my eyes shut, in seconds.

The guest, now wristbanded and equipped with maps, entry passes and waved towards the entry gates with a smile has everything they need to enjoy their day.

I on the otherhand, have to deal with "The Curse of the Wristband Dots"

You see each one of our wristbands has a security device. Like stamps, the backing strip is cut with lots of small, tiny dots which are designed to show if the wristband has been tampered with.

That's the theory. In reality, what it means is that myself and my fellow team members end up with these damn dots all over our hands, all day.

They go everywhere. Literally, everywhere.

I'm used to them now, but there were a few times when I first started the job I'd jump into the shower and look down with horror as I thought I was going to need to make an embarrassing trip to the clinic.

The only way of shifting them is with alcohol gel, which is used in liberal quantities all day. I probably have cleaner hands than a vet.

The days are long, and tiring.

But they are rewarding. Laughing and joking with a guest and ensuring that they're going to have a fabulous time is brilliant and work wise I'm in the happiest place in my head I've been in years.

The downside is that during the peak season, when I'm working silly hours, Mel and I hardly see each other.

Now although some would be quick to argue "Bonus!", it is my good lady wife who earns the better half or our income and pays for the roof over my head, the food on our table and, when we get the chance, a holiday.

And boy do we both need one.

[JamelUK]

So what type of holiday do you book when you've spent all year working in a theme park?

Yup, you go and visit the world's best. Walt Disney World in Orlando.

Now, to be fair, this wasn't always The Plan.

Back in January, original conversations suggested we were going to have a small-ish, inexpensive break, maybe even staying in the UK.

However, over recent years we've done a reasonable bit of cruising and have aquired an above average number of loyalty points with Royal Caribbean.

So, when an email popped into my InBox advertising a 6 night cruise around the Caribbean for less than £400/head it certainly sparked a lot of interest.

What sold it though, was the mention of the free, all inclsuive drinks package.

Legless for less than £70/night. You'd struggle to find a better deal in a South Shore B&B.

Just flights to sort out then, and we scoured the likes of Kayak, SkyScanner and all looking for good deals.

We'd intended to fly into Fort Lauderdale or Miami. But flying from Manchester always meant we were looking at a long flight and a dog leg stop somewhere.

So we started pricing for Orlando International as well.

Direct flight, and price wise, no difference. So that's that sorted then.

Then of course we sat and had a further meeting in our secret Holiday Planning Situation Room, which is the local Starbucks at Blackburn Beehive.

If we're flying into Orlando International, we're just down the road from Disney. And it'd be rude not to.

So let's price up a few days at a value resort and get there a few days before we sail to soak up some magic.

Done.

Then again, if we're going over there, we may as well make the trip worthwhile. The Pleasure Beach is closed for the winter so I dont have anything to hurry back for and Mel's now worked long enough for the NHS that her annual holiday allowance is starting to surpass the number of days she's actually obliged to work.

So we hunted around and managed to get a good deal on some DVC points someone had going spare, so we're ending our stay with a few more days back in Disney.

"Hang on!", I hear you scream, "If you're doing a split stay, why not do Universal?"

Honestly, we did think long and hard about this. Very long and hard. In fact the conversation was still happening as recently as last month.

But no, we're not doing Universal.

We'd be avoiding Island of Advenute out of principal. I dont want to see first hand what they've done to The Hulk coaster in person. I dont think I could cope emotionally.

Further to that, we'd only be heading into Universal Studios to check out Diagon Alley. Two things to consider there - the cost of the ticket doesnt justify it and we'd really prefer to have FOLP passes rather than waste a day of what is going to be a fairly hectic trip standing in long lines.

[JamelUK]

So it's all set then.

The Plan.

Not quite laminated yet - I'm still doing some winter office work for the Pleasure Beach these last couple of weeks so I've just not had the time, but it's all agreed and signed off.

And it will be hectic.

With the core of this holiday being the cruise really, and with bolting a few days in Disney around it, everything has been laid out in almost military detail.

ADRs are booked. FP+'s are booked. Excursions are booked. Travel times between venues have been researched and detailed.

When I gave my mum a copy of The Plan last week even she giggled that she's going to know precisely where we are at any given time of day!

In summary though...

• Depart Manchester on 1st Dec
• 5 nights at Pop Century
• During this first week we'll fit in Mickey's Christmas Party, the Candlight Processional with Neil Patrick Harris and a final visit to see the Osborne Lights
• ADRs will see us eat at Chef De France, Be Our Guest and Whispering Canyon

We'll then drive the hire car down to Fort Lauderdale to hop on board Navigator of the seas.
During our 6 night voyage we will...

• see the Stringrays in Grand Cayman
• Climb Dunn River Falls and check out the Green Grotto at Falmouth
• and just chill out at Labidee.

Although I'll probably be checking out the Dragon's Tail coaster.


Once back in Orlando, we head back to Saratoga Springs where, in our final 4 night stay, we're some how managing to squeeze in...

• Fantasmic
• a visit to the Boardwalk
• Ragland Road
• Garden Grill
• Kona Cafe

I dont see any issues with trying to sleep on our flight back home!

[JamelUK]

So that's The Plan.

The intelligent few at the back will probably have worked out the meaning of this Trippie title. For everyone else, download a recent episode of the DIBBcast and you can probably figure it out.
DIBBcast

Needless to say though, it revolves around possible Christmas gifts.

You were waiting for this bit weren't you?

Yes, here you are ladies and gentleman, my regular round up of all those "must have" purchases that are available for you snap up for just a few dollars in the Black Friday Fiasco.

Let us first turn to the world of television advertising, where the Koreans wish you to purchase this amazing exercise device, ideal for working off the Christmas lunch or making a start on the New Year's Resolution.


And, talking of New Year's Resolutions and new starts, maybe it's time for a change...


What you shouldn't be buying this Christmas are energy drinks. They're bad for you. Very, very bad for you.
Here's Arnie and the Japanese to prove it.


If you're struggling for budget, or you need to buy that cheap bit of tat for Kevin from accounts in your office secret santa, let's check if Craig's List has anything. These are all genuine listings...

International Ketchup Selection
"This is a collection of ketchup packets from around the world. approximately 25 countries are represented here, including Japan, Finland, Estonia, Greenland, Brazil, and Portugal. None of the packets have been opened and they are labelled with their home country. Collection comes in decorative box with ducks on it."

Ferocious Attack Kitten
"This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face off if you try to touch it. For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house."

Okay, so maybe those are all a little "unusual".

Let's turn to the world of online shopping instead for that perfect gift for our loved ones this holiday season.

It's without doubt that the greater majority of gifts this year will be branded, however tenuously, to the Star Wars franchise. You thought the Frozen bonanza was bad? You just wait.

Here's one of the more interesting ones I found.

Death Star "Mood" Lamp...

...because when your planet and your entire civilisation is about to get wiped out by the push of a button, it's important to check in with your emotions.

If you are still feeling the Frozen phenomena and, guys, you're struggling to sort that Elsa fishbone ponytail, not to worry...

Clip-In Man Bun

..or buy two and you can be Princess Leia

Not manly enough for you? Then how about this...

The Beer Tie

Let's turn out attention to the ladies now, and I have to be careful sharing this, as I'm certain that Mel's going to want one for "The Bag"

The Hand Bag Umberella

Who even thinks these things up? Probably the same weird minds who came up with this...

Giant Shrimp Travel Neck Pillow

...perfect to ensure you have an extra spare seat next to you on that long haul flight. Just find the passenger with the shell fish allergy. Or just anyone sane.

As we near our quest for the ultimate gift for this Christmas, this came a very close runner up.

Guaranteed, apparently, to trap every single one...

The TubShroom


But the winner, without hesitation, has to go to this. There are simply no words.

None.


More when we get back!

[jono74656]

*steeples fingers a la Mr Burns*

A new jameluk pre-trippy... Excellent!

On a more serious note, I hope you and the Duchess have an absolutely fantastic time, and that you enjoy being on the customer side of the theme park experience for a change

Bon Voyagee!

[JamelUK]

Originally Posted by Rollercolster

I want a Squatty Potty !

See more...

Don't we all now?!

Originally Posted by jono74656

you enjoy being on the customer side of the theme park experience

See more...

Guests! Not customers, Guests!

[jono74656]

I'm a retail employee, you're lucky I didn't say 'walking wallets from which we try to extract as much money as possible'

[Guest]

When I worked in retail they were known as "punters".

[Dogwalker]

Great PTR!
You are certainly packing a lot in to your trip!