Adult Social Services & the elderly - looking for info

[suecee]

Originally Posted by mrs rcch

So, the elephant in the room, that nobody has mentioned...
Power of attorney ? Do you have it ? If not, whilst Mum is still able to apply for it, it’s worth doing, so much easier in the long run, and don’t let them be each other’s POA

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The biggest elephant ever! She won't do one or a will. I used to work in private client sols & could have done her a free POA but she refused - just between her & hubby. I'd say now she'd probably fail mental capacity test

[WhereIBelong]

Originally Posted by mrs rcch

So, the elephant in the room, that nobody has mentioned...
Power of attorney ? Do you have it ? If not, whilst Mum is still able to apply for it, it’s worth doing, so much easier in the long run, and don’t let them be each other’s POA

See more...

These are 2 people, adults, no diagnosis. They are entitled to their own free will - no "don’t let them" about it. They may run their health and financial futures as they see fit. And as she is stubborn i would tread softly, power of attorney certainly makes things easier but has to be agreed on by all parties.

[suecee]

Originally Posted by mrs rcch

Also, stop believing everything she says... it’s not necessarily true.
Dad had Alzheimer’s, MIL had frontal lobe dementia which was a whole different ball game, she functioned the same as us, walk, talk etc, but what she said may or may not be true, she’s not purposefully lying, it’s the truth in her head.

Head over to the Alzheimer’s society forum, it’s a fantastic place to get lots of help and advice

Good luck to you, and I’m sending my best wishes

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Thanks again! Unfortunately she has a history of being dishonest (a very long story) so we do take what she says with a pinch of salt. I just try to get her to think more about things but it rarely helps. She has had a difficult past & something happened about 8 years ago which made her mental health worse, then a couple of years ago she had a couple of falls & hasn't been the same since. I did think maybe vascular dementia but I think that progresses faster. I have also wondered if she may have Parkinsons, as she shakes & has issues with her left limbs but I am no medical expert - I did tell her GP all of this.

I will check out that forum

[BevS97]

My mil had dementia and my fil was her carer. He was also (and still is) increasingly frail. SS got involved when they both ended up in hospital, and remain involved although less so now MIL has passed away.

They arranged / helped to arrange respite care, Daily carers, emergency call necklaces, hand rails, Day centres, transport to hospital appts, Stair lifts, eye appts at home, just off the top of my head.

Most all of this was instigated by their children and pushed back against by my father in law who felt they didn’t need any help, until he realised they did.

They can’t force care where it’s not wanted. And they won’t pay for much of it, although I believe they get cheaper rates than if you go direct

We also found some solutions ourselves. Our council don’t offer meals on wheels anymore, and the SW suggest a frozen solution which was not helpful as we were already buying frozen meals, We managed to find a local cafe who deliver hot meals daily. I think the social worker should have known about that, But it’s not a council provision, Just a local business.

[suecee]

Originally Posted by BevS97

My mil had dementia and my fil was her carer. He was also (and still is) increasingly frail. SS got involved when they both ended up in hospital, and remain involved although less so now MIL has passed away.

They arranged / helped to arrange respite care, Daily carers, emergency call necklaces, hand rails, Day centres, transport to hospital appts, Stair lifts, eye appts at home, just off the top of my head.

Most all of this was instigated by their children and pushed back against by my father in law who felt they didn’t need any help, until he realised they did.

They can’t force care where it’s not wanted. And they won’t pay for much of it, although I believe they get cheaper rates than if you go direct

We also found some solutions ourselves. Our council don’t offer meals on wheels anymore, and the SW suggest a frozen solution which was not helpful as we were already buying frozen meals, We managed to find a local cafe who deliver hot meals daily. I think the social worker should have known about that, But it’s not a council provision, Just a local business.

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Thanks, that's all really helpful. Fortunately my stepdad is reasonably fit but he will need help. An eye appointment would be great as she refuses to go despite having bad eyesight & knowing we have glaucoma in the family!

[BevS97]

specsavers/home-eye-tests

It was with spec savers