Adult Social Services & the elderly - looking for info

[Mary A]

Forgot to say, Age concern and our local Carers group (also a charity) were a great help to us

[suecee]

Originally Posted by honeybun1989

It took some time for my mum to allow any tests or accept any help but we go there’re in the end ..
We are now 4 years down the line and she has deteriorated quite a bit but we are still managing to cope with keeping her at home ..
It is a cruel illness and probably harder for the family ..
My mum wakes up happy and goes to bed happy, so I console myself with that!
Good luck with everything x

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Thanks. Such a difficult time, as long as your mum is happy most of the time that is sadly the best you can hope for. x

[Mrs Red C]

Is there a Complex Care Team that liases with all the different services inc GPs, Reablement Teams etc?

Also, is is possible there's a UTI involved as that can lead to confusion and impaired thinking?

FiL had a stroke which I think has contributed to his confusion and then a heart attack on top. He suffered lots of falls and UTIs and is now in a care home as we knew he wasn't looking after himself properly. He had carers going in but it wasn't enough. It was a difficult time all round.
He still thinks he can just nip out for a bus but is physically unable to do this! He is now in a safe environment although he can only have contact with 1 family member sadly.

Hope you get some help as I know it's very stressful situation.

[suecee]

Originally Posted by WhereIBelong

My mil is staring on the dementia rollercoaster. She had the most wonderful reablement team look after her after a series of falls. She had been forgetting to take steroids which added to the confusion. They arranged for medication to be put in doset boxes, sorted out heaps of communication issues between hospital/doctor/pharmacy and mil herself... for a carer to come in daily and for hand rails in places they were needed. They also moved her bed downstairs ( her bathroom is downstairs, so life became easier) and helped the family with the transition to private carers after a few weeks.

The reablement team were absolute stars and knew exactly what help we all needed before we even thought of it.

It is hard not being her next of kin as you become a little bit sidelined and look on frustrated, but he will need help as time goes on, I hope he will ask for it.

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Thanks, that's really helpful, I shall try to see if she gets assigned to a reablement team. Unfortunately her house is tiny with lots of outside steps so I think a move is needed but we'll see.

[suecee]

Originally Posted by Puddle5

The SW should be able to give you advise and info but not specifics without your mums consent.

You are right it may not be dementia there are a number of health conditions, that can cause memory issues, you say she has had a scan presumably the GP has also done blood tests, etc to rule out other causes? It is incredibly difficult when someone doesn't want to accept there may be issues, not only the individual but sometimes families as well refuse to accept anything is wrong. Its a fine balance trying to help them or being seen as interfering.

Ask to speak to the Dr on the ward and find out if they are looking into the reason for the falls if Mum refuses to go to the falls clinic.

Make sure your mum is happy to give consent for you to speak to people and then be clear with the ward that you want before discharge.

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Thanks again, she did have blood tests but says she never had results so assumed all was well. So hard at present as we can't visit her so little contact with Dr but she maybe moved to a rehab hospital so that sounds a little more positive.

[suecee]

Originally Posted by MinniMouse

Here's a link which may be of some help
nhs.uk/conditions/dementia/diagnosis/

In our area it's usual for the GP to refer a patient to SS. They will then come and assess the patient in their home. It would be helpful if you can have a conversation with both your parents and make a list of issues so when SS come to do an assessment you can also be there to help and make sure everyone's being honest in how they are coping/feeling.

Has your mum been seen by psychiatry? She may not have a diagnoses of dementia. Give the GP a ring and ask if they can do a cognitive memory test and then depending on the results get a referral to old age psychiatry.

There is medication that can apparently slow down the process (depending on the cause I think).

My MIL has dementia and has gone downhill this past year. She still lives at home with FIL, who is physically frail and he struggles with her. We all do what we can, share the chores ie online shopping, I take her to hairdressers once a week, etc to give him a break. SS are now sending someone one hour twice weekly to either take her for a walk or sit and do a jigsaw etc. Not a great help tbh. Next step is a care home, which we are reluctant in the currant climate. What I am trying to say is there is some help out there but SS won't take over all care. If she can't manage at home at all then a care home may be your only option.

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Thanks. The GP has not referred her to anyone save for a brain scan. Her GP did do some cognitive tests but according to her he said they were nonsense & threw them in the bin!

It is looking like she maybe in hospital for a while so I think the hospital are looking after her.

Sorry to hear things are hard for you. It is sad when a care home is the only option especially at the moment. I think my stepdad could manage if they more suitable accommodation but that's a sore point.

[mrs rcch]

So, the elephant in the room, that nobody has mentioned...
Power of attorney ? Do you have it ? If not, whilst Mum is still able to apply for it, it’s worth doing, so much easier in the long run, and don’t let them be each other’s POA

[suecee]

Originally Posted by Kenbrook

I can recommend the ‘carents room’ website for all sorts of information about looking after elderly relatives and friends.

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Thanks

[suecee]

Originally Posted by Mary A

Forgot to say, Age concern and our local Carers group (also a charity) were a great help to us

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Thanks

[mrs rcch]

Also, stop believing everything she says... it’s not necessarily true.
Dad had Alzheimer’s, MIL had frontal lobe dementia which was a whole different ball game, she functioned the same as us, walk, talk etc, but what she said may or may not be true, she’s not purposefully lying, it’s the truth in her head.

Head over to the Alzheimer’s society forum, it’s a fantastic place to get lots of help and advice

Good luck to you, and I’m sending my best wishes