Don’t stress. It’s only a day !

[Smilesonfaces]

Pinched this from Facebook because it made me laugh !
This years stripped back Christmas might actually be just what some of us need.
(
apologies for a little bit of swearing in it)

😂Just in case anyone is stressing about Christmas Day... ! 😂
Here's my top tip 🎄Christmas Dinner...

I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake! 🙄We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...💓
1. Turkey... It's a big ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!👏🏼
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a ≈≈≈≈ load of fresh herbs to make stuffing... ( no ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)😜
What you need is Paxo and a kettle! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell...
Bisto Jamie... All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to ≈≈≈≈ about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠
4. Vegetables...🍆 Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ things! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family...
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed ≈≈≈≈≈≈ them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry ≈≈≈≈ to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally...
NO ONE... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET P## AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!
Rant over 😂
🎄Merry Christmas!🎄

[Feebee2]

Which reminds me. I must put the sprouts on.

[happytraveller]

Love it

[happytraveller]

I was thinking of trying fried shredded sprouts this year

[munmun]

Last year we were in Florida and went out for Xmas eve meal at a little bistro in Gulfport. Really enjoyed the brussel sprout cesear salad!

[Sandra & co]

The only thing I do is make roast spuds because my kids would never forgive if I gave them aunt Bessie’s. I put a bit of the stock from the turkey in the gravy, I do get stressed cooking Christmas lunch but I shouldn’t. If I have a glass of wine I burn everything!

[Tinks2014]

The job of anyone coming round for Christmas is to clear the table, load the dishwasher and most importantly make sure my glass isn’t empty

[happytraveller]

I must admit, since discovering food to order from M&S and waitrose, it has become a lot more enjoyable. It's just bunged in the oven and I can doss with everyone else now

[THE WIZARD]

Love it. I must admit I do lob a few chestnuts in with the roast potatoes to show I've made an effort :-)

[littlelish0544]

Thats brilliant. Ive always said its just sunday dinner with holly on but it never is that simple even with paxo and bisto! And why is it we can eat sunday dinner without going into a food coma?