Would you go to a wedding without your children?

[RachaelC]

I always prefer weddings where my kids aren’t invited.

My 9 year old gets bored and doesn’t enjoy them and my toddler is too young to do all the hanging around without getting really grumpy.

[Scaramouche]

Originally Posted by oscar

Didn't say my way was for everyone but putting cost before people was not my priority.
Weddings can cause family upset and obviously even having opinions about them does too
Mine was just over 30 years ago so I suppose times have changed I'm sure all your weddings will be special to you and that's what counts

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Putting cost before people was not a priority... that’s a very lucky position to be in!

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Scaramouche

Putting cost before people was not a priority... that’s a very lucky position to be in!

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I think you misunderstand what I was saying in my posts.
I wasn't saying that I was putting people above the cost because I was fortunate to be able to.
I compromised by not having a sit down meal and having to pay caterers per head.
We did a buffet so it wasn't as expensive and therefore we could invite everyone without upsetting any one.
Of course everyone is different what matters to one person doesn't matter to another.
My point was that I preferred to spend less money on the wedding to have more people there.

[duchy]

So "Weddings have become impersonal nowadays all show and expense." Isn't you being in the least bit judgemental of other people's choices ?
Thirty years ago weddings were quite different and far more hidebound by tradition than now and far fewer options . comparing a wedding from the last century doesn't make your choice thirty years ago right and weddings today wrong .
Looking back over thirty years ago ... buffets were the norm for weddings ... when I remarried last year and looking at options when we were deciding how to do the deed the choices were very different, just as life in many other ways is . That doesn't mean either was wrong, just of the time. I'm sure "back then" there were those who considered a buffet a bit OTT and wondered why you didn't just have a knees up in a pub as they had thirty years before and *your* wedding was showy and expensive too. It's all relative !

Originally Posted by oscar

I think you misunderstand what I was saying in my posts.
I wasn't saying that I was putting people above the cost because I was fortunate to be able to.
I compromised by not having a sit down meal and having to pay caterers per head.
We did a buffet so it wasn't as expensive and therefore we could invite everyone without upsetting any one.
Of course everyone is different what matters to one person doesn't matter to another.
My point was that I preferred to spend less money on the wedding to have more people there.

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[Guest]

Originally Posted by oscar

Didn't say my way was for everyone but putting cost before people was not my priority.
Weddings can cause family upset and obviously even having opinions about them does too
Mine was just over 30 years ago so I suppose times have changed I'm sure all your weddings will be special to you and that's what counts

See more...

You related stories about how fabulous your wedding was and then made a comment about how all weddings now are about show and expense! Really was quite rude to anybody getting married since you did it the right way...

I am 49, my wedding was some time ago too. And it was considerably less showy and expensive as yours was as we married quietly overseas with six guests.

[Stitch & Smudge]

We had kids at ours, when my niece started crying my brother took her outside for 30 seconds and she stopped and then came back inside. Some of the best weddings I’ve been to have been because of the kids. They don’t need entertainment, they make it. We do things as a family, like Disney. As they said in Stitch, nobody gets left behind or forgotten. If someone can’t make your wedding don’t assume it’s a snub. People have breakups and breakdowns, families have issues and a year can be nothing or everything when it comes to arranging a babysitter. Some issues may be too big or too unimportant to bother you with for your big day, but may be life or death to another. Don’t lose a friendship over it, you’re friendship could have been longer than your relationship and if you’re prepared to lose it then that’s up to you but also says more about you than your friends. I’m not attacking anyone, just giving my observations. I understand that weddings are expensive, but memories are made by memorable events, not planning to the most minute detail. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I’ve always found that trying to make everything perfect just makes you stressed and once you’re stressed then nothing is going to be good enough.

[Ellelledee]

My husbands niece got married a couple of years ago and our kids weren’t invited. They were 19 and 21 at the time. My husbands sister made a huge fuss that I COULD get time off work (I worked in a school at the time) and was adamant that I SHOULD go in and demand the day off - this annoyed me straight off! Then the invite came and the kids were only invited to the night do. It was out of town so it would’ve meant us getting a taxi or driving then as DH takes both kids to work and picks them up on route it was taxis for them both ways and then a taxi to the venue.
But also the world and it’s dog were invited to the wedding except my kids. She had 8 bridesmaids and millions of friends there, her hubby had 8 groomsmen and again millions of friends. My hubbys sister n her fella all had friends there with little kids - yet my 2 adult kids weren’t invited.
So I didn’t go! My hubby went alone. I said that as my job was 1:1 with an autistic child it wasn’t as simple as me taking the day off especially as it fell in the day we went to panto but the head told me I could’ve had the day. At the wedding my nieces hubby and my other niece both spoke to my hubby and said it was wrong my kids weren’t invited - so clearly people knew why I hadn’t gone.
If they were little I could get it and if numbers were limited I could get it - but neither were the case.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Claudette

You related stories about how fabulous your wedding was and then made a comment about how all weddings now are about show and expense! Really was quite rude to anybody getting married since you did it the right way...

I am 49, my wedding was some time ago too. And it was considerably less showy and expensive as yours was as we married quietly overseas with six guests.

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[Dougie]

I have been to weddings where there have been children and it has been a great night. I have also been to weddings where hardly anyone moved or danced as there were loads of kids running around all over the place, sliding up and down the dance floor on their knees , running between tables etc...

I don't have children but I doubt very much ( if they were youngish) I would take them but I definatley would not be offended if they were not invited.

[Em4owen]

We're going to a wedding next month which is no kids allowed. I'm looking forward to not having to worry about my two being unruly and that I can relax and enjoy myself. My two are young (5 and 3) but as it's a friend's wedding, my parents can babysit. The bride to be is a teacher so I can understand why'd she want a break from children for her big day!