Withdrawing / suspending University and teaching assistant advice

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by Aliloo

I think, and I know it’s easy to say, encourage her to separate the money from the course. Teaching is rewarding career but sadly it’s not all about spending time with the children. The drop out rate is high and the pressure of the job is insane currently. I wouldn’t recommend anyone force their way through the course for another 2/3 years to realise teaching isn’t for them. I’d suggest she talks to her uni mentor early about the support uni can offer on this placement and give it a go but if she starts and doesn’t love it, I’d consider the options early.

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Thanks .
The money side is really only about understanding when we need to make decisions by.
We / she can afford either way so the ‘ right ‘decision won’t be determined by money .
But it would appear daft to delay a decision for a short while unnecessarily if her mind is made up having taken further advice if there becomes a financial impact

[All-smiles]

I am a teacher! I left after my first year at uni! I completed the year even though I hated uni from the start and then left. I still got a level 4 qualification in education studies.

When I left I became a carer and support worker for adults and children with special needs. I absolutely loved it but, sadly it did not pay my bills and I had my own flat to run (no choice!). After a year I took the massive step of going back to uni. I travelled in, instead of living there. Made a good group of friends and I have never looked back. I finished with a 2.1 and passed my training with good and outstanding. It was a great fit.

Anyway what I am getting at is, maybe she just is not ready yet? I wasn't at the time. Taking that time out was what I needed, for me. Rather than doing 'the done thing' and following straight into uni. If she does decide to leave now she can always start again, even if it is 5 years down the line. It turns out that the uni I was at, just wasnt a good fit. The 2nd Uni was more me and I loved it.


Good luck to her and I hope she makes the right decision for herself.

[parisdisneyfan]

Afraid I can’t help on money side but on the actual uni side we have some experience with our ds.

After failing his first year of 6th form and having to move colleges he was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and put on meds. However he seemed to be picking himself up, got his a levels and got a place at Uni.

He started a BEd course and was doing great on assignments but unfortunately the school he was placed in was unhelpful (not just a mums opinion but admitted by Uni) He failed the placement and had to choose to retake the year, change course or leave. He choose to retake the year. They were supposed to do paired placements but his partner dropped out. DS was put in a year 6 class after they had done their Sats, basically the kids were finished primary school and were little gits - I could understand as I’ve been a teaching assistant for 15 years and however nice the cohort moving through the school that last term is hell, even experienced teachers dread it!

Anyway he retook the year and passed but then decided to change courses to childhood development, mostly focussing on 0-5 years old. After 2 more years he earned his degree but is not using it, however should he want to he can do a PGCE in the future to go back to teaching.

That placement set him back horrendously, and if I had a crystal ball I would have stopped him doing it. I’m proud of him for redoing the placement in a different more supportive school and also telling us he got it wrong with teaching and it wasn’t for him.

Personally I would let your dd leave, she has made such progress I would hate to see it all get knocked out of her but appreciate sometimes we need to push them. If she goes ahead please find out what year group she will be with, what the school is like. Teaching is hard, my old school has several teachers off with MH issues at the moment including the HT apparently.

BTW sorry no help on TA side as was just a parent helper that got taken on and did a couple of evening classes years ago, and it is very different now.

Good luck to You and your dd, big hugs xx

[buryboy]

Thank you all -smiles and PDF

All-smiles , one thing I would say is she is already 23 . She hasn’t just jumped straight from college to Uni . It has taken her a few years courage to get to the stage of actually starting a uni course so we knew it would be challenging for her .
I appreciate that doesn’t mean she can’t ‘ drop out and start again’ - she had to retake a year at college due to being unwell / in hospital so we know there is no point rushing .She has never really grown up and there are years ahead of her still though

PDF at he first thing on the list for my DD and DW to do today is try to get in contact with the school . They break up today ( are only off 10 days) so she needs to explain her thoughts and anxieties and see how welcoming they are .

Edited to add - just found out they actually broke up on Tuesday so probably going to have to get resourceful in trying to get hold of them

I have a feeling she might have been told she is doing year 6 but the school is in a very good area and I would expect the kids to be good kids

It’s so tough trying to know the right thing for her to do . We can’t allow her anxieties to get worse that it affects her eating more as that would be a tough downward slope

[wendy7654]

Hi I cannot help on the money side etc or whether to quit Uni.
My DD is in 2nd year Uni same Uni as your daughter doing primary education.

If she can try the placement I’d say go for it, DD has just finished an 11 week placement and did a 5 week placement last year.

A couple did drop out after that 5 week placement some after week 1 but she ploughed on.
The assignments are tough and I’ve seen plenty of tears but in the end she got good marks, she hasn’t worked whilst on this course as it’s very full on.

Back to the placement- DD loved her 11 weeks, the school, the kids and the teachers and her class mentor, she was so upset to leave them. She was in year 3.

Maybe first week she was like oh I’m not sure on this school etc but ended up loving it- there were tears still and some frustrations and a lot after school work to do but she got through it with great feedback.

I’d say give the placement a go as this will give her an idea of whether it’s for her or not.

My DD would be happy to share her experiences of Uni and placement with her if that may help.

[Bianca]

Generally, I think they like you to have some experience in schools before teacher training - but that wouldn't have been possible for your dd the last couple of years anyway.

I have such sympathy for her. University is more stressful for many than the popular idea of it lets on and placements add to that.

Plus, teaching is particularly tiring, mentally and physically. It's a job full of highs and lows and you don't get any daily downtime to recharge and there's lots of evening/weekend work. IMO, it's inspiring and fun, but frustrating and exhausting!

I started teacher training straight out of school; wasn't happy with the course or college; left and did a completely different degree at a different uni; then, returned to teaching a few years later.

So, from my experience, I'd say maybe it might be better for her to be working more in M&S (and seeing where that leads) -- where she can continue building herself up doing something she enjoys and isn't so stressful. If she got a chance, some direct school experience (voluntary or as a TA) might be a consideration - later on when she's ready - to see if she wants to pursue it with more confidence. She might also prefer a more general degree, allowing for a PGCE at a later date.

...But that's just based on my experience. I realise you have lots of factors to consider. As above, she could find she loves her placement. Good luck, whatever she decides.

[Blue nose]

I would put the money/fees to one side. You've said you/DD can afford it so park that as it's comlicating/rushing the decision making process.

In 10 days she might start a placement and love it.
She might start a placement and hate it and leave.
She might start a placement and manage to complete the year and then look at options.

I think completing the year is a good outcome if you can get her there. It will give a sense of achievement and potentially allow her to transfer to another course or come back and complete just two years later.

For now help support her anxiety around her health concerns, get past those hurdles and she how things oan out at the end of the month.

It doesn't have to be life decisions that teaching when qualified is too stressful. It's about the here and now and next few weeks or months.

Good luck

[top4]

Hi ,it sounds very much to me that's it the unknown she's clearly worried about ? You say your Daughter is going for an Autism screening soon ? Then this definitely fits in with it all ,Afraid of trying new things ,scared of failing ow confidence in themselves,change in routines ,fear of the unknown etc ... I think she's clearly had a sense of wanting to become a Teacher ,but unfortunately hasn't yet had the opportunity to experience it fully because of covid .You may find that once she starts on her placement things may fall into place for her ,and it will become clearer for her .She clearly prefers M&S at the moment as its familur,she knows the role ,its her routine .I work in a special needs school ,and we have a couple of Teachers who are also Autistic ,any big changes can unsettle them ,but we are a supportive school and we make sure they are well looked after .
If your Daughter does go on the placement I'm sure she'll feel the same once she's found her feet .Just curious, does the University know about the Autism screening? As they should be able to offer some support for your daughter too .wishing you well xx

[Spencerfamily]

I haven’t really got a huge amount to add that you don’t seem to have thought, but wanted to add a post in support really as a primary school Deputy Head and mum to an autistic girl, so I ‘get’ much of what you are saying.

I think the difficulty with placements is the ‘unknown’, which can be especially hard if you experience anxiety or are neurodiverse. Every school is so different, and it can really come down to the support and even personality of the teacher of the class you are placed in. Has your daughter been able to go in and meet the staff and teachers yet? The bonus of placements if you start one is that the demand starts slowly, and there is little expectation on teaching the full class at first. It would be ideal for your daughter to see if she likes it, and help boost her confidence, but I appreciate that first step may be way too much for her right now.
From previous posts I have read of yours, I think an ideal route would be to start as a Teaching Assistant in a school, and then your DD decide if she would like to eventually take it further and do a work-based route, rather than a uni route. Even prior to that, if she could volunteer in a local school, whilst working at M&S, that would help her confidence and applications for any TA posts. When I interview for both TAs and teachers I genuinely look for the relationships the candidate makes with the children they are with for the interview over and above qualifications (within reason!).
Good luck getting in touch with the school- and you are doing the right thing, in my opinion, putting your daughter’s mental health first.

[Scotsmomma2]

My view would be that uni isn't for everyone,with your daughter's anxiety and eating disorder,I just wouldn't want to see that worsen if she feels under pressure.She enjoys M&S,if that's working for her,then I'd just want her to be happy and confident in what she's doing.It must be very difficult for you all.