Please share some delicately worded rude jokes...

[captain-codeye]

On their 50th wedding anniversary a lady standing completely naked in front of her husband asks

Can you remember what you said to me on our wedding night?

Yes reply’s the husband, I said I was going to f*** your brains out and suck your t*** dry...

Well what are you thinking now? Said the wife...

That I did a bloody good job reply’s the husband.

[disney332]

One for MM... ,.,

Teacher to class. Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?
Little Paddy sticks up his hand and spurts out Trudy Glen

Teacher says, no its not. The correct answer is Maid Marian.

Little Paddy. But teacher, sing the song. Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding Trudy Glen

😂😂

Disney332

[Ninja]

A woman pregnant with triplets was in a shop when it got robbed, she panicked and screamed and the robber shot her 3 times in the stomach, in time she gave birth to 3 boys, years passed and then one day one of her sons shouted *Mummy I've just had a poo and a bullet came out!* she told him not to worry, then another shouted *Mummy I've just had a poo and a bullet came out!* again she said not to worry and then when the 3rd shouted her she said *I know you had a poo and a bullet came out, don't worry* he replied crying *No I was playing with my willy and shot the cat!*

[captain-codeye]

Two women are talking over a glass of wine.

One said to the other does your t*** twitch after sex?

No reply’s the other, he just turns over and goes to sleep.

[maidmarian]

Originally Posted by disney332

One for MM... ,.,

Teacher to class. Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?
Little Paddy sticks up his hand and spurts out Trudy Glen

Teacher says, no its not. The correct answer is Maid Marian.

Little Paddy. But teacher, sing the song. Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding Trudy Glen

😂😂

Disney332

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Naughty Dis 😘 😂

[ChrisS]

Two women window shopping, one sez, 'that's the one I'd get', a cyclops came out and ate her!

[cartoonp]

I was in shop smornin this bloke sidles up to me .. he looks around and says in my ear. U got any naked pictures of ur wife... I said ...no...he replies. Wanna buy some

[cartoonp]

And one more

Patrick O’Shea called his lawyer asked, “Is it true they are suin’ dem der cigarette companies for causin’ people to git cancer?”

“Yes, Patrick, sure is true,” responded the lawyer.

“And now someone is suin’ dem fast food restaurants for makin’ dem fat an’ cloggin’ their arteries with all dem der burgers an’ fries, is that true,?”

“Sure is, Patrick.”

“And that a lady sued McDonald’s for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?”

“Yep.”

“And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldn’t read?”

“That’s right,” said the lawyer.“But why are you asking?”

“Well, I was thinkin’ . . .

What I want to know is, can I sue Guinness for all dem ugly women It made me sleep with.

[Ninja]

After much deliberation, the Cambridge University Netball Team decided not to abbreviate their name!

[maidmarian]

Originally Posted by Ninja

After much deliberation, the Cambridge University Netball Team decided not to abbreviate their name!

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Omg you're brave 😂👍