Daughter slipped and broke friends tv - I’ve been made to buy a new one. Thoughts?

[MrsG26]

Hi, just looking for some advice from fellow parents. My 11 year old daughter is best friends with a girl she’s known since Nursery. She spends a lot of time at their house, and the girls mum adores my daughter.

There is a dance show coming up so the girls had been practising, and the mum let them do it In her small living room, she even said to me she moved the couches to allow them space.

Anyway my daughter slipped on Thursday evening and her foot cracked their living room tv. My daughter is absolutely devastated about it, as am I. But even though it’s an accident , I’ve had to buy them a replacement 50 inch LG Smart tv.

The mum is embarrassed about it but said I shouldn’t be too hard on my daughter! as if I would for it being an accident, but the dad, well his actions have left me shocked.

He said he was very angry at the time it happened, put all the blame on my daughter even though both kids were dancing supervised by his wife. And it just so happens it was my daughter who slipped, and I’ve had to replace their 3 year old tv for a brand new one, which cost me £350.

It’s the attitude of it. I was told they don’t have the money for a new tv (neither did I) and I don’t know if they have house insurance. I got a text yesterday from the wife to say thanks for tv (it got delivered yesterday ) but I replied and kinda made it known I wasn’t happy about the situation, and said had the shoe have been on the other foot I would have claimed on my house insurance, but I now feel that the relationship has been lost between us, and I don’t even want my daughter to spend any more time at their house Incase
Something else gets damaged and the expectation is for me to pay. Can any parents offer advice please, would the expectation have been for me to buy them a brand new tv, when it was accidental damage, which the wife confirmed?

My daughter is a really Nice kid and she’s so upset over this, as I’m a widow and she knows I struggle sometimes financially as it’s just me bringing her up. I Just need someone to be objective and tell me what they think. Thanks .

[lizzie145]

That is what insurance is for, personally I wouldn't have paid for a new one but looked for a second hand TV.
Or perhaps offered to pay half.

[MrsBC]

I think they've acted appallingly.
It's not your fault they're not insured.
It's not your fault the girls were left in an unsafe area to practise.
It's absolute bad luck that it was your girl's foot and not theirs.
Perhaps they should have asked you to go halves on a new TV, but to expect a full new replacement is wrong.
I think I would be acknowledging her at least, for the children, but no further contact.

[taylaboo]

Pity they didn't have house insurance! I would only have paid half as both girls were dancing and being supervised by the mum and it was an accident. Surely they know that being a widow you don't just have spare money laying around. If you feel uncomforable letting your daughter go there have them at your house.

[minnie29]

I think even if they’d have had insurance, often the excess is around £200-300 meaning they’d still have to pay.
If that would have been me - I would have told you and expected you to maybe offer a donation (I wouldn’t have asked! As it was on my watch, I’m the one responsible at that time). I think going halves is the answer, not full amount!

Just to add - I would also feel like the relationship is broken slightly and would always be worrying about my DD going there again.

Years ago 3 of my DD’s friends were throwing stones at her bedroom window trying to get her attention (11year olds). They smashed her window! I went around to said parents houses and they just didn’t want to acknowledge it at all. One of the mothers said “ no he never” the kid popped up behind her saying “mum I did” she was giving him a death stAre and saying “ are you sure” lol ... she offered to pay us weekly for the window. We said it was okay and just wanted her to acknowledge what he’d done and make sure he didn’t do it again. (We realised she was single mum not working and didn’t want to add anymore pressure). Another time, some kids who used to live on the end of our road smashed our patio doors (god knows what they were doing, we were out!). The parents knocked, told us and paid for the replacement.

[dubletrub]

I would have first of all asked them what their excess was on their house insurance and offered to go halves, if they had asked me for the full amount I would have said no. The wife knew what they where doing, she practically encouraged it by moving the furniture and accidents can happen. If the explained they didn't have insurance then I would have said I'll check the price and possibly give you some towards it. I would have told the mum sorry but you let it happen you have to take some responsibility.
I'm a widow like you and work hard to keep providing for my family so I wouldn't have parted with my cash so easily.

[OutbackAddict]

Difficult to give a straight answer really, If my daughter did this at someone elses house i would probably offer to pay towards a replacement (but would kind of expect them to meet us half way) however if someone elses daughter did this at our house i would like to think they would offer to go halfs but in all likelehood would probably refuse to accept the money as it was a genuine accident and they were being supervised by an adult of the house at the time

[scouser]

Hmmmm, if they claim on there insurance there will be for example a £150 excess maybe more for a claim and would also lose there no claims discount, so basically it would probably cost them the £350 to replace there own tv through no fault of there own, it,s a difficult one really, if being honest if my son had broke my friends tv accident or not I would have to probably offer to pay for a new one it would kill me to do it as it was an accident but that's probably what I would do and see what they came back with, after all we are responsible for our own children's actions accident or not. Iam sure I will get stick for this but that's probably what I feel would be the right thing to do.

[Smilesonfaces]

I think it is unfair especially if the mother had allowed it and both girls were larking about. If it were my tv I would have paid half each.
In your situation now I would have to just accept it, draw a line under it and try not to affect the friendship and then be grateful it wasn’t a state of the art up to date tv costing thousands.

Possibly the family didn’t have accidental damage on their insurance policy.

[kissimmee kate]

I agree with others that my first thought would have been to check on house insurance and if that wasn't appropriate then offer a contribution towards replacement. The husband has come out of this quite well having a nice new television but the cost could be lost friendships.