Optimum seats for frightened flyer

[sunseeker100]

hi everyone

we are booked on VA PE for April but my partner is very frightened of flying, to the point she actually got off on the tarmac a few years ago - on our way to Orlando

She has since been to Florida twice (and a couple of european hols) and has tried all sorts of things to be a better flyer - VA flying without fear course, hypnosis, read many books on planes, flying etc but now flies with the aid of some medication.

we've always sat at a window seat preferably with just a 2 and in the bubble (so if she is stressed no one can really see and she won't bother anyone) but this time we can only get some PE seats downstairs in the middle of the plane so at the end of a row of 4.

does anyone know if the middle row is maybe better for anyone who doesn't like flying much? is being away from a window a good thing and is PE downstairs pretty calm and quiet? just wondering if you know a scared flyer who likes the middle row and why

I'm going to keep checking the bubble but atm it's showing as 100% full both legs

[wifey]

I prefer to be in the middle I'm not a fan of flying either. I was terrified the first time we went too. It didn't help that the guy sat on the aisle seat refused to get up and slept the whole journey. Since then though we have been able to choose our own seat allocations which helps a lot. Having only immediate family to travel with makes it less stressful for me. We have had the window seats before and after the first hour it's very boring tbh, it only gets interesting once we reach land again. I get absorbed in decent films or books or games on either the kindle or iPad to keep my mind busy. Nothing too stimulating just relaxing. I hope you find a solution to the questions you have.

[Tretinker]

I hate flying, I've yet to walk off a plane but I've been very upset before boarding a few times. Now we fly with children I have to hide this but I was a nervous wreck inside last year until ds smacked his face on the floor and they nearly didn't let us board because of concussion risk that was an distraction at least because I was so worried about ds, then about not getting to Florida that I forgot we needed a plane to get there of course I do not recommended this as a distraction technique!

Anyway... for me it doesn't matter where I sit, front back, middle, side, window or no window. I do like an aisle or access to an aisle e.g. dh on aisle then me. So I feel like I can escape if necessary... where im escaping to I don't know but in my head I need to be able to get out.

It's a means to an end, and boy do I wish we could afford direct! Nothing makes it better I'll be honest but I haven't medicated so that sounds like a plan! If you could knock me out for the flight that'd be great but not sure dh would be so pleased with 3 children to look after

You're very thoughtful to try and make the experience as painless as possible for you oh

[Mswanda]

I am in the middle this time. I hate looking at the bendy wing. Doesn't matter how much they tell me it's fine. The wing is bending...

[k100dmk]

I am also a fearful (very fearful flyer) I haven't always been and loved flying until i was around 21 years old. I too have refused to get on a plane once, about 10 years ago and very nearly didn't board a plane to mexico for my sisters wedding, even when i did i swore it was the last time i would fly, I fly multiple times a year now though.

It depends on what your partners fear actually is, if it is the plane having to make an emergency landing of a fault that is something to address but most fear of flying does have an element of what if but it is more to do with control or being somewhere people feel they can't escape. There are a few grounding techniques you can use when someone is feeling anxious and one is a rubber band around the wrist, twang this when you feel yourself starting to panic it will take you mind of it (it hurts) you may want to look at books for anxiety disorder such as GAD etc too, because all phobias and anxiety are related in how we keep them going regardless of what we think causes the anxiety.

I personally like to be on the aisle seat I just feel more comfortable there, I'm not a fan of the view until we are coming down anyway.

I hope you have a great trip

[sunseeker100]

thanks for the replies She also needs to be able to get out so an aisle seat will work nicely - i agree though, where to I don't know

the medication just makes her not care, that's the only way she can describe it. she is still 'with us' and doesn't sleep or anything and can easily have a conversation etc but if I say "right its time to board now" she will just say "ok!" and toddle along after me her doc prescribes just 4 tablets enough for one pre-travel day and one on the day, both ways. weirdly they can make her forget the previous 24hrs.

I think she is worried about these seats we have as she loved the bubble and felt way better up there.

[paulandalison]

As your PE over the wings the turbulence is not as severe.

[sunseeker100]

Originally Posted by k100dmk

I am also a fearful (very fearful flyer) I haven't always been and loved flying until i was around 21 years old. I too have refused to get on a plane once, about 10 years ago and very nearly didn't board a plane to mexico for my sisters wedding, even when i did i swore it was the last time i would fly, I fly multiple times a year now though.

It depends on what your partners fear actually is, if it is the plane having to make an emergency landing of a fault that is something to address but most fear of flying does have an element of what if but it is more to do with control or being somewhere people feel they can't escape. There are a few grounding techniques you can use when someone is feeling anxious and one is a rubber band around the wrist, twang this when you feel yourself starting to panic it will take you mind of it (it hurts) you may want to look at books for anxiety disorder such as GAD etc too, because all phobias and anxiety are related in how we keep them going regardless of what we think causes the anxiety.

I personally like to be on the aisle seat I just feel more comfortable there, I'm not a fan of the view until we are coming down anyway.

I hope you have a great trip

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thank you. it is totally a control thing you are right. she says that if she could sit up front with the pilot she would be ok...can see where she is going etc. thanks for the suggestions of coping mechanisms I'll discuss those, she does get anxiety so that doesn't help either. we do have a fab time when we get there though

[sunseeker100]

Originally Posted by Mswanda

I am in the middle this time. I hate looking at the bendy wing. Doesn't matter how much they tell me it's fine. The wing is bending...

See more...

ha ha I know! I must say I look away when my wing starts pointing to the sky

[Mswanda]

I was fine until my parents told me the thing under my seat was a lifejacket and not a parachute...