My manager apologised!

[Princess Ariel]

In my defence he followed me outside. And I did say to him that I was more than capable of walking to the car park myself as I knew he was going to try and have a conversation with me. Perhaps I do need to be more assertive but it’s difficult as he’s my manager! I was happy to leave things and didn’t feel like we needed that conversation but he initiated it. I will try to be more assertive in future.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by Princess Ariel

In my defence he followed me outside. And I did say to him that I was more than capable of walking to the car park myself as I knew he was going to try and have a conversation with me. Perhaps I do need to be more assertive but it’s difficult as he’s my manager! I was happy to leave things and didn’t feel like we needed that conversation but he initiated it. I will try to be more assertive in future.

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You don't need to defend yourself as nobody is attacking you, just advising you to keep work related conversations in the work setting. Yes, try to be more assertive going forward e.g. "can we discuss this tomorrow at work". Your manager does sound inexperienced, but then all managers are inexperienced managers at one point so hopefully he will grow into his role.

[lizzie145]

It's not a huge issue having that conversation at a works do, it is after all a work thing. He probably felt more at ease and confident to talk to you when he had been drinking -we all know it gives courage.

There are so many managers in the NHS that are not given the training and support they need and they make mistakes - I would have a much easier job otherwise.

I am glad he has apologised, well sort of, but if you still want or need to raise it more formally then do so.

[Dougie]

Originally Posted by lizzie145

It's not a huge issue having that conversation at a works do, it is after all a work thing. He probably felt more at ease and confident to talk to you when he had been drinking -we all know it gives courage.

There are so many managers in the NHS that are not given the training and support they need and they make mistakes - I would have a much easier job otherwise.

I am glad he has apologised, well sort of, but if you still want or need to raise it more formally then do so.

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I agree with this.

People seem to be quick on here to jump on him for saying anything outside of work but it sounds a bit of a spur of the moment thing. I wouldn't have minded my boss talking to me in the same situation. Things like this are not always black and white.

[cheekydeeky]

Originally Posted by Dougie

I agree with this.

People seem to be quick on here to jump on him for saying anything outside of work but it sounds a bit of a spur of the moment thing. I wouldn't have minded my boss talking to me in the same situation. Things like this are not always black and white.

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I agree with this sentiment. OP felt the conversation had cleared the air so that’s a positive step surely? Work nights out are inevitably going to be where some conversations take place that probably, strictly speaking, shouldn’t. Sometimes I think everyone on here is perfect (well, apart from me).

[duchy]

Originally Posted by Dougie

I agree with this.

People seem to be quick on here to jump on him for saying anything outside of work but it sounds a bit of a spur of the moment thing. I wouldn't have minded my boss talking to me in the same situation. Things like this are not always black and white.

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I suspect bearing in mind his lack of confidence in his management skills it was probably a Dutch courage situation. Possibly even spur of the moment.
Managing needs a very different skill set and it’s not unusual for newly promoted managers to struggle , especially as many employers don’t prepare them properly for the new role. Yes it was inappropriate but if you feel it was a genuine apology rather than covering his butt since the revelation about the other employee has come out then you may not wish to take things any further.