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Unread 25 Aug 19, 03:21 PM  
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#17
Tumpshies
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As others say we are not medical specialists. we can only speak from our understanding. For me i never lost the puppy fat and am now a rather big puppy(not saying this is going to happen) i was never one for hugs but when i wanted one you knew about it. i did a lot of emotional eatting and still do and a lot of that was down to me not fitting in at school and the low self esteem ( when i did settle my mum up and moved us to a different part of the UK scotland to Northern Ireland) . what im trying to say is try and talk to her and ask whats going on in her life don't focus on the food or the weight or hygine or the clothing or the bed wetting if she wont talk to you ask her if she would be more comfertable to talk to a stranger (phsycologist) it has helped me tremendously talking to one i just need to get off my lazy back side and get on with a lot (mainly loosing weight)
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Unread 25 Aug 19, 03:42 PM  
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#18
Bartswife
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As the mum of an ASD son that was suspected at age 3/4 and took till 15 to get an official diagnosis I find it extremely sad that school havent helped you out more. I can see similar traits with your daughter. The personal hygiene and dress sense is similar, we went to a wedding yesterday and he knew he had to wear smart clothes. I had bought him new trousers which he had tried on and he partnered them with a shirt he used to wear about five years ago that hardly buttoned Up across his stomach. When he came downstairs yesterday I was a little upset to say the least as I envisaged a quick trip to town. He used one of his dads honestly its still hard work. He has to be cajoled into hair cuts and his wispy tash and beard is half heartedly shaved off.
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Unread 25 Aug 19, 03:58 PM  
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#19
Jakey Neverland
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Re the bed wetting its not uncommon, my just turned 14 yr old still does. He can go 2 months dry then a week wet. His i am sure is when something is on his mind.

I went back gp recently who said its not uncommon and because he can be dry its nothing they will investigate. Your gp i presume has said similar. My son is also like your dd with being socially awkward but getting better as he gets older. Hes bright but does throw flags for asperges in fact his high school english teacher had him tested to get more time in English papers but he was deemed as having no needs which suprised her.

I also have a 12 yr old dd both her and my son couldnt care less about hygine thats what i thought was something teens go through. Roll on the days they take regular showers and deo!

What i am trying to say is your not alone and she is not so different compared to mine x
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Unread 25 Aug 19, 04:13 PM  
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#20
Some Banana
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Like snowbelle said I am not qualified to diagnose anything but my son is 10 and has just been diagnosed with ASD. A lot of what you have said would apply to him also. We were on the waiting list for 2years and 2 months waiting for the actual assessment so it's a long process but we are very glad it has been done at the beginning of p7 in preparation for high school next year. I think it would be worth getting a referral to a paediatrician but I know how hard it is explaining it all to your daughter at her age. Autism can mean so many different things to different children and their symptoms of that's the right word can be so varied but reading this thread made me realise how many others are going through the same thing

Edited at 04:24 PM.
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Unread 25 Aug 19, 05:32 PM  
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#21
vowels
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This is going to be blunt.

Make an appointment with the doctor and with your daughter's school. Your daughter has issues which, for her longterm health, need to be dealt with now.

If your daughter has medication for bedwetting, you, her parents are responsible for her taking them. She is a child.

She is too young for Slimmers World. Do not buy unhealthy snacks, bus pass rather than cash and remind your husband he is the father, not the friend supplying treats. Continue with healthy eating.

If she does not wash regularly, take her to the bathroom and ensure she washes every day. She is twelve, parents set the rules not little girls.

I am not unsympathetic, I have a fourteen year old with ADHD, OCD and a few other fun issues but sometimes a little tough love can make life a lot easier for our children. It will not solve the underlying problems but will give strong guidelines on acceptable behaviour and reduce some of the more obvious reasons she maybe considered different.

I wish your daughter well.
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Unread 25 Aug 19, 05:33 PM  
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#22
Floridatilly
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I have not read all the replies so I am sorry if I am repeating what has already been said.
Firstly I would book a gp appointment just to rule out any medical problems such as under active thyroid or type 2 diabetes, these can cause fatigue, sweat, the need to pee more.
My son has high functioning autism plus ADHD plus learning difficulties. With his autism he needs routine, shower every morning, up st the same time, bed at the same time etc he has quite a few OCD issues too. So not like your daughter however every child is different so I would seek a professional opinion on that matter.

My sisters daughter in law always came to stay with them on Thursday nights and stayed until Monday after school when she went back to her mums. Her uncleanliness used to drive my sister mad, she would go all weekend without a shower causing very strong BO smells, she would wear the same clothes all weekend, even knickers.
She would rarely wash her hair or even brush it. My sister could not understand this behaviour because her mum & dad were both extremely clean and always looked smart.
She is now at Lancashire university and loving it. She doesnt do all the hair & make up, she lives in jeans and a baggy hoodie but she is happy and has a couple of close friends.
Now she is older my sister jokes with her when she comes home from uni saying she hopes she has clean knickers on
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Unread 25 Aug 19, 06:52 PM  
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#23
Tillyjcm
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Hi, first of all big hugs to you. My Dd is now 15 and has Aspergers, also has Dyspraxia and sensory issues. You could have almost been writing about her with the hygiene and clothing choices.

She hates the feeling of water/liquids to such an extent that personal hygiene is very challenging plus even getting her to drink enough fluids.

She started her periods at 11 and it has been a nightmare to make sure she changes her sanitary protection regularly (at the start I had to physically do this for her). Showering is another challenge, I will make a big issue of buying new shower products for myself knowing that shell want to try them first. She also has a thick towelling robe for when she gets out of shower as she doesnt like being uncovered and having to use a towel to dry herself.

She hasnt had the bed wetting but does wear Tena liners as she sometimes has daytime leaks, this is due to her bladder not working efficiently when she doesnt drink enough.

The clothing choices are another thing, she is constantly cold and layers up. She does take an interest in clothing but can be quite child like with her choices, such as Pokmon (which shes obsessed with).

We constantly change strategies with her and encourage her as much as possible. As a parent it has been a big learning curve understanding that she is not doing things to be stubborn but rather hygiene, drinking and personal appearance are not high in her priorities. Wouldnt change her for the world though.xx
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Unread 25 Aug 19, 08:13 PM  
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#24
DonnaD
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Much of what you have written could apply to my daughter as well. Many girls are good at masking autistic symptoms until puberty (or even later). Mine only really showed mild sensory issues until everything went horribly wrong after the transition to secondary school. Her school basically ignored what was going on because she did not act up in class but instead retreated into a shell. She was finally diagnosed with autism after our move to the US when she was 14. Watching how different my younger daughter has been between 11 and 13 has made me realise how many signs there were that I just didn't recognise.

Please go to your GP and ask for help. CAMHS moved very slowly where we lived so there is no time to waste as you could wait months for assessment. There are screening questionnaires online that might help you recognise other signs you haven't noticed to help give you ammunition to get a referral.

Good luck. If it helps the diagnosis was actually a huge relief for my daughter as it explained why she was struggling so much and didn't "fit in" anymore.
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