Grandson of Anarchy Day 4 Volcano Bay

[rummy63]

The washing had weird marks on some items, so we washed it again and hung it in the garage we decided not to use the dryer thinking it was the dryer causing it.

The chuckle brothers made breakfast it was very good because Knotty is a great egg coddler. It also meant that we were all in cinque food wise.

Slight problem with the cutlery there were only four sets. Considering there was enough beds for eight people that was weird. We found some plastic ones for Johnnie, so we were just ok.

What would have happened had there been eight of us?

Cut your food take a bite and pass the cutlery on while you are chewing?

All together now “pass the cutly on the left-hand side “.

We set off to Volcano bay to the renditions of Stand by Me

“Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday I’ve got a lot to learn”.

Seriously?

The Gallagher brothers made millions by writing crap like that

“So, what’s the matter with you sing me something new”

Yes Johnnie, how about “The wheels on the bus”.

We arrived at Universal paid the car parking and Dick Turpin asked which park we were visiting. He then tied a bit of ribbon to the aerial.

We followed the signs for Volcano Bay parking. Again, it was airport style security and there was a bus waiting to take us.

Since there weren’t any maps, we opted to approach the park by walking straight down the middle.

It was sand.

I hate sand I don’t mind the wet stuff that the kids make sand pies with but not the dry stuff. It’s hard to walk on. I took off my uglies (Sketchers go walks) and tried to walk in my bare feet.

Sand hates me, it bullies me it was undulating making the walk arduous.

I realised I must have calf muscles because they felt as though they were going to burst out of my leg.

I laboured on looking like a crack addled chimpanzee.

In the tots zone there didn’t seem to be any beds just very low small chairs. I didn’t want to feel like Little Miss Muffet sat on her Tuffett all day. The area was for toddlers it was too young for Johnnie.

At the other side of the park was an area with slides suitable for I would say five to ten years old once again the seating was aimed at the miniature community.

It left me wandering where you would sit if you had a three-year-old and a seven-year-old.

We opted for the middle and first group of five beds that we could find together but we were seriously exposed to the sun as the parasols are a bit sporadic.

Within a minute King John had dropped his drawers and pulled his swimmers on and was ready to assault the pool. The changing rooms were back at the entrance and poor Knotty had to get changed quickly before King John set off on his own. He tried to maintain his dignity with the aid of a small towel and a slender palm tree Christine tried to help by holding the towel at the back but when he bent to put his swimmers on she dropped it he needn’t have bothered on my account I have seen it all before (see other trippies for details). For some reason Shania Twain popped into my head. “That don’t impress me much”

All the kids must wear a life vest which I think is a great idea.
There were also lifeguards everywhere and I noticed anything going slightly wrong in the pool and they were on it. You are safe or certainly it appears that way.

Knotty took John in the pool and we sent Al on a reccy to see if he could find anywhere better.

He found somewhere that had a little more shade and had a parasol.

The trouble was to get to the pool you had to walk down and across a concrete path. That path was as fiery as Beelzebub’s boiler and both Christine and I burnt the soles of our feet.

The bongs started then there was clapping this signalled the start of the wave machine.

People arose from their sunbeds and moved like automatons towards the pool. This happened every fifteen minutes.

Most of us went in but Christine stayed behind as we hadn’t paid for any lockers.
Of course, Johnnie wanted to go in every fifteen minutes, so we took it in turns.

At last lunch hour arrived and we went to the Wachaiki something or other, it wasn’t that great.

Typical overpriced fare but you paid after you received your food.

The queue to pay was that long I could have eaten mine before I got to the till it caused the already tepid food to go cold.

It did the job, so we were back taking it in turns for the wave machine.

There was a couple of blokes laid kissing on the sun beds behind us.

Now I don’t care what anybody does in the privacy of their own home

I would be just as peed off had it been a man and a woman.

I had put up with it most of the day I wasn’t in a great mood because of the sand, the pains in my burnt feet and the crap, overpriced lunch.

I turned to them and said in a low tone Oy mate you are at a kid’s water park you are not on bloody love island.

At that Knotty came sauntering up the path talking to a CM they were chest deep in conversation and at one point Knotty pointed at King John.
I’m pretty sure those blokes thought he was complaining about them because they stopped their “snog” fest and returned to reading Michael Crichton.

I couldn’t resist giving them a smug nod that’s telling you mate.

Incidentally the CM was telling Knotty how much he loved working for Universal and how he could be deployed at any park. Also, that no matter what the customer was king.

Next thing Knotty was going off with him he returned with an ice cream that the CM had bought for Johnnie.

Trouble was by the time he got it back it had melted and Knotty had had to eat most of it.
Johnnie had a mini melt down. It soon stopped though because the wave machine music started, and it was my turn to take him in. Once again, I had to walk over that red-hot path to get to the pool.

We knew we had to eat before Johnnie went into a deep slumber, so we called to Game Changers on International Drive. We ordered two shareable platters as an appetiser they were massive and none of us wanted much after that. Johnnie had a chicken tenders kids’ meal, but he tucked into the onion rings on the platters.

I ordered a jacket potato and sour cream. It was slightly green I was always brought up to believe that green potatoes were poisonous. I wasn’t hungry anyway. I did ask the Chuckle brothers if they wanted it because let’s face it it’s the only green jacket either of them is ever going to get presented with.

We then set off back to the villa and of course the traffic was bad, and it took an hour to get back. Johnnie had fallen into one of his deep sleeps snoring his head off.
Knotty took him straight to bed took his clothes off and nappy on.

That’s what you do right?

Put the kids to bed mucky.

Nobody has been to attend the patio door, another email to Contempo. I have been trying to find photos that don't have multitudes of flabby white flesh on them

[Gill H]

We are in hysterics about the green jacket comment!