Daughter accused of being a boy in public toilet

[Sew109]

I have a 12 year old daughter who looks very feminine at football I take her into the gents as there are more cubicles in the gents than the ladies and it’s the family stand. No one would think of saying anything to her I don’t think guys ever wood anyway and of course in a lady’s toilet all the business is all done in a closed room is there really any need or any threat ? I do get the washing hands at certain times of the month but you would not get this in a gents so quite frankly those women were pathetic.

This says more about their own inadequacy than anything else.

[Guest]

Originally Posted by ScoopsAhoy

Definitely! Some of the things I’ve seen would turn the strongest of stomachs.

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Just to add my anecdotal evidence to this, I spent my degree working in a cinema and cleaned both sets of toilets if on a late shift. Men's always clean, just water splashes etc. Women's would turn the stomach. Male colleagues would come staggering out of the ladies like their life had just flashed before them. If we're doing stereotypes men tend to be slightly untidy but consistently, women put a front on but when there is a cleaner or it is "not their job" they are truly filthy.

[daytonababe]

I was in the services at Peterborough 2 weekends ago , The mens toilets are closed off for renovations, ( assume women”s will be next), So everyone is using the ladies toilets. Men go to the cubicles on the left , Ladies to the right . No one was complaining about it .

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by Sew109

I have a 12 year old daughter who looks very feminine at football I take her into the gents as there are more cubicles in the gents than the ladies and it’s the family stand. No one would think of saying anything to her I don’t think guys ever wood anyway and of course in a lady’s toilet all the business is all done in a closed room is there really any need or any threat ? I do get the washing hands at certain times of the month but you would not get this in a gents so quite frankly those women were pathetic.

This says more about their own inadequacy than anything else.

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It shows how we are all different . I wouldn’t have dreamt of taking a 12 year old daughter to the gents toilets and to be honest I would feel uncomfortable if I went into a gents and saw a 12 year old girl there .
I would certainly be using a cubicle even if I only needed a urinal

[mitch84]

Originally Posted by buryboy

It shows how we are all different . I wouldn’t have dreamt of taking a 12 year old daughter to the gents toilets and to be honest I would feel uncomfortable if I went into a gents and saw a 12 year old girl there .
I would certainly be using a cubicle even if I only needed a urinal

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I went to the footie a lot with my Dad as a kid on our own, and I think at 12 he did have us in separate gender toilets, but I was a very savvy 12 year old. But he took me from 5 to Ipswich where we lived at the time which was a premier/championship equiv club, so pretty busy, what do you do?
You have your daughter, you need a wee, she needs a wee. I think this is why gender neutral toilets are so useful.
But as Duchy said before, basically is safety not more important than the sight of a man weeing from behind?
I’m pretty sure he would have been in far more bother if he had lost me rather than me catching a glimpse of a bloke having a wee

[Sew109]

The reason I take her is that there are 3 ladies toilets in the stand 12 cubicles in the men’s, the cubicles are not in the same areas as the urinals it’s also right near our seats so I often rush down with her just before half time.

There is a queue for the ladies all the way through the game and it needs to be addressed.

[buryboy]

Originally Posted by mitch84

I went to the footie a lot with my Dad as a kid on our own, and I think at 12 he did have us in separate gender toilets, but I was a very savvy 12 year old. But he took me from 5 to Ipswich where we lived at the time which was a premier/championship equiv club, so pretty busy, what do you do?
You have your daughter, you need a wee, she needs a wee. I think this is why gender neutral toilets are so useful.
But as Duchy said before, basically is safety not more important than the sight of a man weeing from behind?
I’m pretty sure he would have been in far more bother if he had lost me rather than me catching a glimpse of a bloke having a wee

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I guess I was never really put in that position . Generally speaking we went out as a family all 4 of us , or in two twos- me with sun and wife with daughter .
I don’t recall at what age I would have let my son go to the toilet on his own - be that the footy / town centre / services etc but thinking no older than 8 , probably younger.

I would have had no problem at 8 or 10 just letting him go on his own at the footy while I was still sat in my seat / stood on the terraces watching the game - but it wasn’t like there were millions of people at Bury games

I don’t recall ever being in a gender neutral toilet - unless it was just a single general use cubicle . Not sure how I would feel if I was sharing the communal area ( ie sinks etc) with both men and women . Logically it shouldn’t be a problem but when for 50 years I have been used to just blokes, I suspect I would feel a bit uncomfortable

[princess allie]

From a safeguarding point of view, I would not want my son in a gents alone until he was well in to his teens. My ds is 13 and even now, I prefer him to be accompanied to the gents by his Dad. For me, it also depends on how big the place you are at is, a small restaurant I would let him go alone, a large shopping mall or football ground etc - no way. If we are at a large place and he has to go alone, I time him, sad i know, but if he was taking too long I’d go to the door and shout to him. This would apply in the opposite gender roles for me too, so if I was a dad with a daughter. Some people will say I’m over protective, but I’ve been on too many safeguarding courses and have heard things I’d rather not have, so I go for better to be safe than sorry.

[marypoppins38]

Originally Posted by princess allie

From a safeguarding point of view, I would not want my son in a gents alone until he was well in to his teens. My ds is 13 and even now, I prefer him to be accompanied to the gents by his Dad. For me, it also depends on how big the place you are at is, a small restaurant I would let him go alone, a large shopping mall or football ground etc - no way. If we are at a large place and he has to go alone, I time him, sad i know, but if he was taking too long I’d go to the door and shout to him. This would apply in the opposite gender roles for me too, so if I was a dad with a daughter. Some people will say I’m over protective, but I’ve been on too many safeguarding courses and have heard things I’d rather not have, so I go for better to be safe than sorry.

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Exactly this.
There was a horrible case a few years ago where a boy was assaulted in the toilets in the Arndale Centre in Manchester. My son is 16 and 6ft 4 but I still wait outside the toilets timing him even now.

[princess allie]

Originally Posted by marypoppins38

Exactly this.
There was a horrible case a few years ago where a boy was assaulted in the toilets in the Arndale Centre in Manchester. My son is 16 and 6ft 4 but I still wait outside the toilets timing him even now.

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Glad it’s not only me. There have been quite a few cases like this, it’s sad that our children are not safe in public loos, but it is unfortunately a fact.